Bro. BRO.
Okay okay, EVERYTHING matters. Every single human life on this stupid planet, right. Even if they mess up. Even if they were bad people, which you are definitively not. You're one person under a massive amount of stress, academic shizzle (goddammit I used the word shizzle there is no hope) and music and a whole cocktail of things I don't know the details of. But you are human and therefore you matter and therefore I CARE. I care a whole freaking lot.

Now like my brethren/sistren/genderneutralren said, you really ought to seek out help but I can understand why that might be hard. Understand this - there is value in you even if you don't do things right. There is always value. The sun'll come out tomorrow (this just in the sun is hella gay omg wow sorry bad time). Ugh that sentence is such bs. Because in this moment it feels like tomorrow's just a tangled mess of stress and things you need to do and it feels so much easier to stop it all. Who cares if the sun's shining/if the sun has a sexuality, life feels like crap.

So yeah, while I think you definitely need to find someone to talk to, someone more qualified than me because I'm not sure these sentences are coherent, just remember there are a whole damn lot of us who care and will fight I mean for you, I guess. How many people here have been through the same? I'm not one of them, but even I could hazard a guess. How many people have you seen through similar? We're all here for you, Meera my dear-a (someone stop me now), and wow this is long but it needed saying.

Bro.

/applauds/

also I didn't get the sun thing until I read it over four or five times but I get it and it's amazing

oh and I wrote a little something (I'm not kidding it's pretty fucking little so it won't take up much of your time)

http://www.kidpub.com/story/hard-enough-1857155829

Omg yay I always look forward to reading your stuff I was about to say bro but it's my worst linguistic habit, I really need to school myself out of that one. Bro.

yesss also I am unextremely unashamed about clogging the nsp with my poetry now >:^D

Nobody cares about clogging anymore, but I can safely say, with the authority bestowed upon my royal ass by assorted deities your poetry is cool and therefore not clogging also you can tell I'm writing this at 1am bc I have zero inhibitions wow now imagine if I ever got drunk that'd be a disaster someone stop me

i feel super awful and cynical and tired and i hate it

shit improves and I can guarantee it so hold your head up high because you're awesome

"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! LOVE YOURSELF!!"
well maybe if you get asked how it feels to be a terrorist or something like that on a daily basis, and maybe if your grades were unacceptable for "someone like you," you'd hate yourself too. :)

first off, if someone calls you a terrorist because of your race, they are just ignorant.

and also, grades do not define who you are or if you should love yourself. grades are literally just numbers. Because tests sometimes can be complicated and even the smartest person will fail. Intelligence and grades don't define who you are on the inside. what you look like doesn't define who you are on the inside.

i'm sure you've had a bunch of people tell you all that before, but maybe that just means you should listen to what they're saying.

People who say that loving yourself shtick are quite irksome tbh. I do not have time for that appalling pseudomotivational crap.
But people who say the other things are just douchebananas and not worth your concern.

Also you're Indian, right??? Um??? Like what??? Since when was India associated with terrorism? I don't understand. Don't they make a distinction between different countries? Or religions? Like what?

I mean over here the majority of our schools are quite multicultural. One of my friends was the only white guy in his class. Actually, last year, out of 18, 19 or so in biology, only 4 students were white. It's one of the best education establishments in the local area.