Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)

Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)

Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)

Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 283154)

I'm happy. Not joyful, or even cheerful. Just happy. I feel... free.