Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 432397)

so first you say that I fucking make assumptions when i was the only one who "stuck around" for the fucking only bi girl in such a motherfucking intolerant ignorant place and realized that shes still a fucking hilarious genius and i made that motherfucking black chick surrender when everyone else was afraid of messing with a ghetto neanderthal like her, and then you act like youve gone through so much more

i understnad that what happened to you fucking sucks but just because i hide it from you people doesnt mean that im fucking fine i mean my friends left me for dead and ive known them for ten years and they dont fucking care just because----thats it i just dont fucking know why the bastards stopped (i know that i wasnt the best person and was sometimes rude and aggresive but the reason i used to push people was because i didnt know what the hell i was doing! how was i supposed to deal with that shit?)and then theres worrying about even going to school and being around people with so much more and theres wanting to have SOMETHING positive about me and not having any friends at all and wondering what people think about me and then saying FUCK IT and saying what i want because i dont want to care, i dont want to care, because if i care then im their victim and i dont want that to happen again. but then theres wanting to be something and wondering what im going to do when i cant go to nyu and im probably going to community college and working as a fucking receptionist and finding some wifebeater because no other douchebag is going to care about me ever and having these friends now forget about me when the year ends and having everything go downhill from here. how am i so much more fortunate than you when im hiding in my room, blasting music, hoping that no one finds me crying on my birthday

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 432403)

and then theres more worrying about the fucking ignoramus population who doesnt understand that differences dont matter and leaving that kid to die alone isnt worth a few laughs when you go to their funeral and gush about how awesome they were and how they loved to laugh when you were teh one who slit their wrists and why am i the one who gets the slightly better school when shes left waiting with the other outcasts while the racists and whores laugh obnoxiously like the fools they are and pretend we dont remember when they were just as hideous as us.

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 432414)

im trying to figure out if i should block out the words or listen and try and piece these things together but i just dont know what to do and maybe one day i'll look back at this and think about how much better things have gotten or i'll think about how that was only the beginning and i just told her that i'm fine and i don't know why i'm hiding this but i guess things dont need ot get more fucking complicated and i should just hide becuase i know if i can do one thing well and thats fix shit by myself and find a way because i've done it before and i'll do it again and just wait it out and figure out how the hell all this shit is going to be fixed and put together and i can just laugh at the picture of the biography thats going to set up my career about some "trouble past" or fucked up propoganda and find a way to ACTUALLY be a writer and not just whats happened to me

i'll be one of those motherfuckers who are sucess stories even though they dont care about their family anymore and do whatever the hell they want until their commercials die out and everyone reminisces about the weird biographies they used to see in Borders (or whatever the hell it is, its probably going to be all this ebook shit) about some fucked up chick's life and maybe im going to waste my "talents" and die alone living in a shack and picking up shit on the streets of detroit or i'll be a mom who wonders how shes going to make things different for her family and in that process she makes it so much more fucked up and now i just really dread the idea of having the same tearful shouting matches and maybe i rreally will be better off alone and i dont want the music to stop because i really dont want to hear my family right now.

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 432456)

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 432457)

what's up? :D

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 432456)

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 432459)

nothing .

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 432460)

:/
*hands happie*

Originally Posted by Owen-L (Post 432463)

*takes happie* :/