The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

soph-soph27 12-05-2012 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 373240)
Thank god. Did you name one Wyatt? :')

The small one on my hand, if you saw the pictures. I think I might make it through. This is the farthest that I've got.

lvhamsters 12-05-2012 08:17 PM

I really hate myself and I don't know what to do. I just lied to my friend to keep our friendship and because I'm terrified of being mean to anyone; terrified of ruining a friendship. My best friend told him I was appearing offline to him because I really was because I was so annoyed with him, so I lied and told him I wasn't appearing offline and then he said "remind me to never believe her again," and now I'm scared. I know he's probably going to tell her what I said and I really don't want any of our friendships to be ruined. I don't know what to do..... I guess I should've just told him the truth.

HeatherB 12-05-2012 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 373246)
The small one on my hand, if you saw the pictures. I think I might make it through. This is the farthest that I've got.

Oh, thank GOD, honey. I'm so proud of you. ^_^

soph-soph27 12-05-2012 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 373256)
Oh, thank GOD, honey. I'm so proud of you. ^_^

Thanks. :')

TheAshWolf 12-05-2012 08:28 PM

e_e ASDFGHJKL I HATE WEDNESDAYS SO MUCH.

*grabs a chair* *throws it through a window* *grabs an axe and chops a table in half* *throws random papers and office supplies everywhere* *beats a watermelon with a meat tenderizer* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*curls up with a pillow in the corner of the room* ;w; I hate Wednesdays. So much. December...my gosh, you're finally here. All I have to do is survive until the 26th, and it will be all downhill from there. By February (I hope), my life will be back to normal.....oh, gosh, I just want to sink into a coma and stay like that until this is all over... ;____; *whimpers like a hurt puppy* *rocks back and forth manically*

HeatherB 12-05-2012 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 373258)
Thanks. :')

You're welcome. Stay strong. ^_^

lvhamsters 12-05-2012 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 373266)
e_e ASDFGHJKL I HATE WEDNESDAYS SO MUCH.

*grabs a chair* *throws it through a window* *grabs an axe and chops a table in half* *throws random papers and office supplies everywhere* *beats a watermelon with a meat tenderizer* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*curls up with a pillow in the corner of the room* ;w; I hate Wednesdays. So much. December...my gosh, you're finally here. All I have to do is survive until the 26th, and it will be all downhill from there. By February (I hope), my life will be back to normal.....oh, gosh, I just want to sink into a coma and stay like that until this is all over... ;____; *whimpers like a hurt puppy* *rocks back and forth manically*

I hate Wednesday's too ;~;
What happened? =O

Ruza 12-05-2012 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwolf (Post 373221)
I know exactly how you feel.

I don't think I'll make a mark on this world, though... why should I try?

If you don't try you'll never fail, but you'll never succeed, either. Stop sulking and GET UP RIGHT NOW. I've noticed you don't post anymore GIFS...

wildwolf 12-05-2012 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruza (Post 373284)
If you don't try you'll never fail, but you'll never succeed, either. Stop sulking and GET UP RIGHT NOW. I've noticed you don't post anymore GIFS...

http://http://images.wikia.com/glee/..._Thumbs_Up.gif

Sandy 12-05-2012 09:12 PM

I know internet tests are unreliable but whatever
 
Test for schizotypy: (I bolded the results that seemed strange to me)

Ideas of reference: 5.5 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Excessive social anxiety: 5.5 out of 8 (unsure: 1)
Odd beliefs or magical thinking: 3.5 out of 7 (unsure: 1)
Unusual perceptual experiences: 6.5 out of 9 (unsure: 1)
Odd or eccentric behavior: 6 out of 7 (unsure: 0)
No close friends: 7.5 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Odd speech : 9 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Constricted affect: 3.5 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Suspiciousness: 8 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Total SPQ-A: 55 out of 74

Test for various:

Paranoid 82% Average: 50%
Schizoid 62% Average: 40%
Schizotypal 82% Average: 56%
Antisocial 46% Average: 46%
Borderline 70% Average: 45%
Histrionic 18% Average: 35%
Narcissistic 18% Average: 40%
Avoidant 58% Average: 48%
Dependent 18% Average: 44%
OCD 74% Average: 45%

Ever since Ash posted that thing about personality types (I am an INTP, by the way, I typed the wrong one), it got my mind firing back on what I was concerned with a couple months ago...
My friend is always poking fun at me because I'm "strange" with a strange sense of humour, extremist behaviour, extremist thinking patterns, strange speaking patterns, strange thought patterns... strange a lot of things. But anyways, she likes to poke fun at me, asking me periodically if I'm "schizophrenic." I laugh, but every time she does it reminds me of the weird thing that happened a while ago... (I posted a rant about this at the time, but what the heck, why not...)
I was really moody, laid down on my bed, and suddenly felt this hand pressing down on me. For some reason, I knew it was my dad (... still confused as to how I deduced that my dad was randomly pressing his hand on my ribcage...?) even though no one was there. I legit was like, "Oh, chill, it's just my dad," in my head and just stayed there like :^I. The pressure of the nonexistent hand increased, and as soon as I started to wonder exactly what the hand was trying to accomplish, these three very young, girly voices started to swirl around in my head, and there was an older man behind them. The same way I knew the hand was my dad, these images of the people who owned the voices flooded into my head--there were three girls, triplets, each with blonde hair done up with that poofy ball on the top of their head and wavy everywhere else, chubby, wearing blue dresses and with no eyes (this, for some reason, didn't disturb me at all). In fact they had these streaks of black coming from their eyes, kind of like this but with black veins running from their eyes:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2322/...1b66d8e6e0.jpg
... and although there was an older man "behind" them, he didn't sound like a creepy pedo or anything malevolent, he reminded me a lot of Coraline's dad because he sounded so relaxed and laid-back. The girls were watching me laying on my bed and they began to laugh at me, and I felt so humiliated. As they laughed, they would each take turns to say two words to me, each one a combination of the first word being three syllables and the second being one syllable, and it was crazy, how difficult they were to remember; they did this for at least twelve word combinations yet the only one I remember is "dangerous times". Even the older guy was talking to me, but I don't remember what he said, only his tone, which was warm and silky, caught somewhere between comforting me and mocking me. All the voices and laughter began to mesh into one and I don't remember how exactly I came out of it... but I remember afterwards, going outside and seeing this Great Dane in my neighbour's yard, standing there, watching me. I stared at it for a really long time--it didn't move. Finally I was like, "... K" and just kept going, but there are no Great Danes in my neighbourhood, and if my neighbours had seen any kind of dog on their lawn they would have flipped out...
For the next couple weeks, I kept hearing laughter in my room and heard my name being called through my computer by this really sketchy voice... it was male, late thirties, sounding hoarse, like a smoker/hobo... :I

I want an explanation for this... even though it's been about a quartre of a year, the fact that I don't know what that was haunts me.....
And lately I've been having these really weird thoughts. I'm pretty sure it's just in my head (no pun intended) but they're these weird, god-like thoughts, and I'm scared that I'm having those "delusions of grandeur" that I read about. I know I am not a narcissist, I have no self love whatsoever, in fact, my self esteem is, as it is for most people, something I really want to work on... so how am I thinking these things?
I'm very confused...
This isn't a cry for help. I'm fairly certain that I've overcome my bout of depression, and I suppose that I'm trying to either explain something strange I've noticed about myself throughout my life or attempt some sort of self-validation. I'm just looking for answers... I have never, not once, seen myself as eccentric... unless I get a glimpse at a "normal" person's life (and by normal, I mean the "average" life... don't say that "everyone is different and weird in their own way" because that is not what I mean by this) and begin to come to grips with just how distant I am from normalcy. I don't really have a problem with this... I have a problem with people who have a problem with it. I have a very strange schedule--my eating habits are absolutely retarded, I must admit, as is my insane intake of caffeine *approximately eight cups in a day* and my need to follow these predetermined schedules that I've formulated for myself. I have never thought of myself as insane or eccentric or different from the rest of the people I know... apparently this is a form of denial?

Weird...
(Hopefully I don't get judged for this.)


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