The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299015)

I don’t really know how to start this. Maybe because I’m paranoid my parent’s will stumble upon this and…I don’t know. They didn’t want me to say my “woes” at church, so what would they do if they found out I was telling my feelings to a bunch of kids I’ve never met? Well, you guys are more than that. You can go from a friend, to a therapist, in the blink of an eye. I think I know how to start this now…

As I’m sure you know, Majors and Minors auditions are coming up in 19 days. I was so excited when Mom told me I could try out. I was about to cry from excitement. Now I’m about to cry from…everything that has happened. I mean, I’m just some “fat” country girl with gappy teeth and a dream I know I’ll never have. And that tears. me. apart. There is nothing else I want to do besides singing for a living, writing on the side, and…just the doubt is eating me alive. There’s gonna be a lot more prettier, skinnier people auditioning, and no one wants an ugly duckling on their show. *sighs*

Now for the main thing. My self-esteem has probably been completely ruined. Of course there were always the occasional “thigh” jokes from the guys at school, but I shrugged them off. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this. This was so completely different. Because instead of a bunch of immature guys at school, this was my parents. It all started on Sunday. I wore my Mom’s t-shirt to church because it was prettier than my UK shirt, so I tied it back. I bent down to tie my shoes, and I guess my shirt rode up, because Mom told me to stand up and turn around. She told me those jeans were way too tight, only they felt fine to me. I thought she was kidding, so I said, “Is that a fat joke?” And she said, “Yeah, it is. And I’m not buying you more jeans if you have to get a bigger size. I’m going to Wal-Mart to get some fruit because you’re going on a diet.” That completely broke me. It was right before we left for church, too, and I was trying so hard not to burst into tears. I thought I was average. My BMI was average, and I was happy. My parents think all I do all day is eat on the couch, and KidPub, but I play Just Dance, I exercise, and I practice for Majors and Minors. They don’t get it, and they don’t even try to. I really want to talk to them about it, but all I get is “It’s for your own good.” and “We care about you.” PARENTS DON’T ALWAYS KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR THEIR KIDS!!!

So now I’m being forced on a diet, even though I’m average weight, height, everything. I feel…broken. And empty. And sad. And depressed. And angry. And confused. Not the slightest bit happy, like I should be. I’M SO TIRED OF PUTTING ON A HAPPY FACE AND BOTTLING UP MY FEELINGS. I FEEL LIKE I’M ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS. And I went over to Haley’s house last night, and as soon as I got into the car, my Dad started talking about carbs. -_- I’m just…tired. I’m happy in my own skin, and I don’t see why my parents just can’t be happy for me. I’m always active, so…yeah. I don’t think I’m gonna gain a million pounds and be on one of those “Half-Ton Teen” TV shows. Everytime I accomplish something, my parents always want more from me, and I just..can’t. I’m so close to my breaking point…I can’t be PERFECT. Ohmigosh there is no way on Earth I CAN EVER BE PERFECT, SO WHY ISN’T PLAIN OLE’ CALEGH GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ANYMORE?!?! I’m going completely insane…sobbing in the shower, doing ten minutes of yoga just to calm down after I sob in the shower, etc.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!!!

You need to talk to them about this. Tell them how you feel, and why you think they're being unfair. We got your back, Skittles. :) You're like my sister i never had and always wanted, and it breaks me to see you in so much pain. I will support you. Know that you will always, ALWAYS, have a friend-me. :D Love you, Skittles.

What?!
I saw your vlogs with QQ and you're NOT the slightest bit fat ._.
Maybe you should let them see this. Just leave this page open and leave the room. Or maybe to lure your mum over, put something of hers in your room.

Caleigh. You go and tell your mom that you are not fat. Just do it. scream at her if nesseccary. Don't let her make you like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299015)

Oh my gosh.....I'm so sorry Skittles. *hugs*

Let me tell you this- I saw you on your vlogs with QQ also, and YOU ARE NOT FAT. If you're happy with your weight and everything, then DON'T let anyone tell you different. It's not worth becoming anoxeric and being unhappy to try and please others.

And about the whole Majors and Minors audition thing- don't think that way. If it's your dream to pursue singing, then don't let anyone or anything stop you. If you have an amazing voice, then no one will really care. You are beautiful just the way you are, in your own way. Me, I'm not the greatest with looks. I don't think I look like the prettiest girl ever, but I wear clothes I feel confidant in, and I don't care about what other people think I look like. If they're true friends, then they'll like you for you, they won't care what you look like.

I feel for you. I honestly do. I know what it's like to hold back tears and pretend to act happy. I know what it's like to constantly feel depressed and stressed inside. Trust me- I'm going through that right now. Two of my best friends are trying to become anoxeric...one of my friends just to rebel against her parents. And it hurts me to know that. I don't think anyone should have to do that. And sometimes, I cry when no one's looking because everything seems like it's falling down- my best friend is moving, and I'm not exactly the outgoing type to make friends- I wait until they come to me.

But enough about me- no, you cannot be perfect. No human being is perfect no matter how much they think they are. Everyone has flaws- and your parents should accept that. They should be proud of you no matter what you do or what you achieve.

So maybe try to talk to them and tell them your feelings. Sometimes parents don't know how much stress they're putting on their kids until their kids say something. And as for the whole "diet", well, you can go along and eat healthy, but don't let ANYONE tell you you're fat. That's just mean. Because I've seen you, and you are NOT fat.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.....if you ever need to talk, I'm here. (:

Oh my gosh, Skittles, you're perfect.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're always beautiful.

Thank you all so much for your nice comments. They've helped me alot, and I'm starting to feel a bit better. A little. The thing is, when I go to my room crying, my parents don't even check on me anymore. They're just like, "She'll get over it eventually." and I'm not the type of person to just...tell them my feelings. I usually type up a long letter, and sit there while they read it and argue their side. :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299027)

Awww.....I do the same exact things. I'm not an emotional person, and I'm usually afraid to talk to people face to face....so I write letters.

Anyways, I'm glad you're feeling a little better. (:

Caleigh. Explain to your parents what they're doing to you. This kind of thing can destroy someone. Maybe you could call your doctor and get him/her to explain to them that you are nowhere NEAR fat. You are beautiful. You don't deserve that from your parents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299015)

My gosh, Skittles. I'm so sorry. D:

At least I can relate to one part of this. I LOVE singing, too. Whenever someone asks what I want to be when I grow up, I tell them I want to be a journalist, but what I really want to be is an actress on Broadway. But the thing is, I'm a horrible actress, and my singing isn't that great, either. So I highly doubt I'll ever be on Broadway. But it's what I feel I NEED to do.

So I applaud you for that part. For actually auditioning. Cause I would never be able to do that.

And about your weight? Tell your parents to be quiet. They can't tell you that you aren't the perfect weight - because if you're happy with your weight, you ARE the perfect weight. (We talked about that in health class or something.) If you're happy with your weight, you don't need to change it. Some lady wrote a book about that, and it's completely true.

You are an amazing girl, Skittles, and don't let anyone make you think otherwise. You're GOING to make it into Majors and Minors. Keep your head up! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299015)

I don't think you look fat either. :P

Tell your parents it's better to be overweight than to end up anorexic. What Mary Elizabeth suggested, getting a doctor to tell your parents you aren't fat, is a good idea. Don't let your parents tell you who you need to be.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. "Always aim for the moon; even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." So what if they're prettier or thinner? What matters is your personality and how well you sing. That's what real fans would care about. And everyone else auditioning is probably nervous like you or arrogant.
When you're parents talk like that, try to block them out; think about your dreams, imagine yourself achieving them.
Parents. should. not. force. their. children. on. diets. (Unless there's a major health issue or something.)
I'm sorry, too. :/