The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

CarabellaGrace 12-06-2016 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 592352)
I don't want to do it again

I don't

But I want to feel it burn my throat again.

I want to feel the acid rip my throat raw until there's nothing left but bone and blood

I don't want to do it again

If I keep telling myself that, it'll be true, right?

please.

please don't drink. don't cut. don't hurt yourself.

please don't kill yourself.

and i know not doing all of those things is easier said than done but please

i'm begging you.

i've been reading your posts--all of hte posts on this thread, actually--and to anyone out there who's feeling stressed and sad and like they want to hurt themselves, oh god, please don't. please please please. i am a stranger from across the internet, maybe across the world, and i care about all of you enough to be begging you to not.

you are all beautiful human beings who deserve more than anything to live.

you all deserve the best lives and you all can have them. the world is yours. this life is yours.

please. it's so hard, i know

but don't.

god, please.

Frostblaze 12-06-2016 12:20 PM

i want to die but i don't want to hurt anyone but i'm basically going to do that if i keep living right all im going to do is be a disappointment right and im not going to get anywher in life idont want to be alive anymore life is pain ad i am weak

Gracithe1andonly 12-06-2016 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 592372)
i want to die but i don't want to hurt anyone but i'm basically going to do that if i keep living right all im going to do is be a disappointment right and im not going to get anywher in life idont want to be alive anymore life is pain ad i am weak

pain is a part of life but I've seen that life is more than pain

how others think of you and even how you think of yourself is a part of who you are but not your entire definition.

and i do not believe you are a disappointment.

one so fierce in love and hate is not lukewarm, not a disappointment

i have seen that we all fall short of our ideals sometimes

please keep trying because i have seen that it is worth it.

i have felt that perserverance feels good.

i pray that you may be granted great joy in this life and the next.

i hope i was helpful

Zelda 12-06-2016 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 592353)
I hate this
I hate being such a high functioning student and daughter and friend who is chill and fine at school, but then the minute I come home I feel like shit, and then it literally just gets worse and worse and all I can think about is how it's winter and no one will see the cuts if and when I do it. all i can think about is the box knife in the toolbox. all i can think about is the emotional high of I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP and how good it feels to fuck up once in a while or maybe a twice in a while or maybe every single fucking night

the best part is though that I can't tell anybody because

  1. it might get back to my parents
  2. I dont' want anyone sucked into something they can't help or stop
  3. it's just once in a while, and just shallow cuts that no one needs to flip out about
  4. i hate being vulnerable and admitting this
  5. my life isn't even that bad
  6. i don't want people to worry
  7. i don't want people to stop me

ok, ok,
i know how fricking hard what your going through is because i've been there (wow, that's an asshole thing to say, sorry) but it passes, it comes back too, but it never stays forever.
You can beat it,
you can stay clean,
i believe in you,
KP believes in you,

And you know what? even if you do relapse, it's not the end of the world. recovering from something as addictive as self harm is hard, and it's ok if you fall of the metaphorical bike sometimes, just get back on, try again. you'll get it tomorrow if you don't today.

i hope that all doesn't sound preachy, sorry. please don't relapse.

Frostblaze 12-06-2016 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracithe1andonly (Post 592377)
pain is a part of life but I've seen that life is more than pain

how others think of you and even how you think of yourself is a part of who you are but not your entire definition.

and i do not believe you are a disappointment.

one so fierce in love and hate is not lukewarm, not a disappointment

i have seen that we all fall short of our ideals sometimes

please keep trying because i have seen that it is worth it.

i have felt that perserverance feels good.

i pray that you may be granted great joy in this life and the next.

i hope i was helpful

i think i'm okay now. i just get really upset once in a while. it's becoming less frequent, i think. depends on how things with my parents are going. please don't worry about me. i won't do it. i just like thinking about it until i realize what a devastating effect my death would have on others. you're alwys helpful. i love you.

Graystorm 12-06-2016 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 592372)
i want to die but i don't want to hurt anyone but i'm basically going to do that if i keep living right all im going to do is be a disappointment right and im not going to get anywher in life idont want to be alive anymore life is pain ad i am weak

No no no no no, no, Madie. I swear to the gods that you are not a disappointment. I owe you everything and my have saved my life so many times. People on earth need you.

I need you

I'm a selfish person and I need you on this planet across the computer screen from me

You don't have to do it for everyone

Just live for one person

Live for your best friend who's mother died. She needs you.

Live for your father and your mother

Live for your siblings

Live for all of your internet friends

Live for me

Gracithe1andonly 12-06-2016 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 592404)
i think i'm okay now. i just get really upset once in a while. it's becoming less frequent, i think. depends on how things with my parents are going. please don't worry about me. i won't do it. i just like thinking about it until i realize what a devastating effect my death would have on others. you're alwys helpful. i love you.

I hope the thoughts keep becoming less frequent. not fun to deal with at all. I love you too, you wonderful firebrand :)

Gracithe1andonly 12-06-2016 10:42 PM

also pardon my silm reference but you and Stormy have a VERY Fingon and Maedhros relationship :)))

Stormy- You're really close friends who owe each other important things, like lives

Frostblaze 12-06-2016 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 592405)
No no no no no, no, Madie. I swear to the gods that you are not a disappointment. I owe you everything and my have saved my life so many times. People on earth need you.

I need you

I'm a selfish person and I need you on this planet across the computer screen from me

You don't have to do it for everyone

Just live for one person

Live for your best friend who's mother died. She needs you.

Live for your father and your mother

Live for your siblings

Live for all of your internet friends

Live for me

don't worry. i'm fine now. just had a couple rough days. i'm kind of a big baby c'x you guys are all the reason I'm alive. you, my parents, my siblings, my friends, snow, all my other internet friends, my church, my family. so thank you, darling. i'll live to help you get through this if i can from so far away. live for me too, all right? i think that's a good relationship. thank you, stormy. i've said it before: you inspire me to stay alive. i love you so darn much. <3


Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracithe1andonly (Post 592406)
I hope the thoughts keep becoming less frequent. not fun to deal with at all. I love you too, you wonderful firebrand :)

thank you, bby <3 i hope you're doing well also, and that your sis is getting better c:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracithe1andonly (Post 592407)
also pardon my silm reference but you and Stormy have a VERY Fingon and Maedhros relationship :)))

Stormy- You're really close friends who owe each other important things, like lives

that makes me v v smiley and oh my gosh you're so right i've never thought of it like that

who would we be? merry and pippin?

Gracithe1andonly 12-06-2016 11:35 PM

Quote:

thank you, bby <3 i hope you're doing well also, and that your sis is getting better c:


that makes me v v smiley and oh my gosh you're so right i've never thought of it like that

who would we be? merry and pippin?
omg you remembered my sis, that makes my heart all warm. And yeah, it's an ongoing battle, but she seems to want to fight it now, which makes all the difference

who's a firebrand and who's a bookworm?

I hesitate to say Sam and Frodo?


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