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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST IS A HODGEPODGE (IF YOU WILL) OF RANTS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
SOME THINGS ARE NOT TO BE JOKED ABOUT. SIMPLE SOLUTION. DON'T JOKE ABOUT THEM. IF YOU DISLIKE SOMEONE. DISLIKE THEM SILENTLY. DO NOT TELL THEM, DO NOT MAKE FUN OF THEM TO THEIR FACES, DO NOT ANYTHING. OH YEAH AND COLORS, LIKES, DISLIKES, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, RACE, OPINIONS, BELIEFS, ANYTHING ELSE ARE NOT SOMETHING TO MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE FOR. JUST. DON'T. DO NOT SCREAM ACROSS THE EFFING ROOM. EVER. LIFE RULE. IF SOMEONE IS HAVING A GOOD DAY. DO. NOT. RUIN. IT. FOR. THEM. EMOTIONS ARE LIKE BUBBLES. THEY CAN BE HAPPY AND FLOAT ALL AROUND BUT THERE IS NEVER ANY WARNING WHEN THEY WILL POP (that was a horrible analogy I'm sorry). WHAT KIND OF DICK MUST YOU BE TO HAVE TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S DAY SHIT TO MAKE YOUR'S GOOD? IF SOMEONE IS QUIET. DO NOT ASK THEM WHY. DO NOT INFORM THEM. LEAVE THEM BE. THEY WILL TALK IF THEY WANT TO. IF IT SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE IS HAPPY ALL THE TIME, DO NOT TEST THEM. THEY CAN SNAP. BECAUSE EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO SEEM HAPPIEST ARE FIGHTING A BATTLE YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT. WE'RE ALL EXCITED TO GET OUT THE HELL HOLE KNOWN AS SCHOOL. THOSE 2 SECONDS YOU SHAVED OFF BY PUSHING SOMEONE TO GET TO THE DOOR FASTER AREN'T AS VALUABLE THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE YOU ASSHOLES. http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/upl.../lemon-gah.gif .....i apologize deeply for that. but it had to happen or i might have exploded. |
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I know EXACTLY how you feel. :| *pats on the back* |
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i dislike my french teacher D:
so today we had a test and i asked a question about something to do with pronunciation and she said "wow meera, you're becoming like *insert the name of annoying dude who she ships me with but who isn't in my class this year*!" (i'll call him billy bob joe ^_^) and then she almost wrote "meera is becoming like billy bob joe" on the whiteboard. really. and the whole class exploded and screamed "meera likes billy bob joe!" and stuff like that. i sure hope he doesn't find out anytime soon... DX |
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And... okay. I'll respond to your full response, then. I apologize beforehand if it takes a while, though. x_X (Oh gosh, sorry about all the cursing. I'm sorry you had to read that. 8'I) Quote:
THAT story. Oh my gosh. I can't exactly explain that story, to be honest. I remember it was one of AA's horror contests and I remember reading the rules and how she really wanted the contestants to go all-out, and I usually go completely nuts with horror/gore, and that was also during my middle school phase where I was fascinated with psychology and serial killers and all that nice stuff so I just kind of wrote... that i dug it up a couple months ago and killed myself laughing at it, so I showed it to my friends, who also killed themselves laughing at it But even so, fear of gore/body horror/generally disturbing content and having a fear of violence are really quite different. I love listening to gory creepypastas, reading gory/scary stories about murderers, and heck, I used to watch tracheostomies and hip replacements being recorded by professional surgeons (I had to take breaks though, because even though they were interesting, it was still really gross) and published for educational purposes simply because I was at the time quite fascinated by it. However, in a violent situation, where two parties are lashing out at each other, whether it be with words or fists (no gore involved), I don't respond as calmly as I wish I could. I get caught up in the anger and the yelling and I was never one to be naturally soothed by turbulent situations. My heart rate probably skyrockets far higher than the people who are actually involved, and despite being a bystander, I panic and irrationally assume that I'm either about to witness someone get killed, or that I'm going to be next and have to fight too, which is a whole other story. Almost instantly, my mind gets carried back to a really dark place I was in a couple years ago that I really don't know how to explain. (Basically, I was the bystander in an ongoing bullying thing, it was kind of complex and a really damaging relationship so I'll just leave it at that.) And I mean, people change. I've changed. My gory phase lasted a couple months, and I'm not going to lie, self harm changed all of that. I can't really look at blood or injuries now, even from a random bloody nose or a papercut, without getting uncomfortable. tl;dr: fear of violence, fear of gore, and fear of pain/anything else that seems related are still quite different. |
*slinks onto thread*
why is the general human population made up almost completely by idiots ;A; *slinks off of thread* |
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I only seriously like the first two songs. Though Girls/Girls/Boys was pretty good. |
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It's okay, Cass...you were terribly upset; I understand. <:^) *hugs* Don't feel bad about the cursing. Just don't. Okay? Also, check your inbox. |
So I listen to mainly pop punk/rock/"emo" bands, which are evil according to my dad¿¿¿
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Yelling from other room "Turn off that devil music!" (My mom) My dad: "You will never listen to that devil music while you live in this household." Except using other words. That shouldn't be on here X3 |
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Well. I blast FOB and P!ATD and All Time Low in my room and my parents literally could not care less. |
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i feel like that constantly heh triggery stuff under here esp. because most of it is in second person even though it's referring to me not you all im sorry and speaking of how i'm feeling haha that's not too good, is it... does death ever just hit you? in the face? saying "hello, bitch, i am here and taking beautiful people off of this planet who deserve to live but i'm not taking you even though you deserve to die and do you know why? because this pain you're going through right now, you deserve it. and you have the gall to want me? long for death? no. live through it. live through the hurting and the bitching and the lies and all the misery you inflict on other's lives, and watch them slowly turn on you and hate you. realize who you really, truly are. and hate you like you deserve it. you don't deserve to die, you see. dying is the easy way out for you. and you deserve all the hardships and pain in the world." |
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yeah well obviously death is a stupid douchebag who doesn't know shit about you. and you deserve to live a totally awesome life even if all the stupid people you know now are assholes. In a few years you'll hardly know them anymore. You can make it through. |
Have you ever found the inspiration for a fantastic story, but you're not confident enough to write it? ._.
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I've realised that I'm usually the one being left alone instead of the one leaving.
I mean, I've left my primary school. And my kindergarten friend who's still my friend now is going to board in England in November, my other friend's already there, my other other friend is going next year, and one has gone back to Troy, Michigan. Sigh... |
I know that feeling. Well, not quite the same, but three sets of friends (two of whom were at the time my best friends) moved down south, one set went to America, and I thought Angelica (obviously my best friend) was going to be going to Devon or Dorset or somewhere down south where she would attend a private school.
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Three people from my school just got expelled. I knew them all.
... Well. |
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wow everything today is just so frustrating and ive retreated into my fiveyearold pouty whiny bitchself to escape and validate wanting to be five again bc literally nothing was complicated when i was five i just want to go back and be five please let me go back and kill myself and actually i just want to kill myself right now nothing is cheering me up like it should and everythign is depressing and im highstrung and stressed out and i just want to die everything ends why dont i end i want to end righT NOW PLEASE JUST MAKE ME END i dont want to be here right now i dont want to be anywhere please just let me die please please please please please please please please why am i even alive living is so stpuid wow why does life even happen thats so dumb im just a bitch who doesnt deserve this please let me go die in a hole
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WHY WHY WHY DOES DIVORCE HAVE TO BE A THING? I honestly hate it and my torn apart family. I miss my dog, and my parents won't buy me a new one, because my dad doesn't want to take care of another pet, and my mom hates animals, and, you know, it's not as if I want to be selfish. I love Max, my outside dog, but I want an inside dog, because it's not the same, and it's too late to housetrain him and my daddy wouldn't let me anyway, and my cats hate me and I MISS COOPER. No one understands. I try and understand others, but no one understands me. My parents say they'll listen, but every time I tell my mom how I feel, she gets mad and it doesn't help. There are too many things I want to tell people, to get them to understand how I am, but they want me to be perfect or something. My mom wants me to keep my room straight. Yadda yadda yadda. And then there's the snide comments. Oh, boy. I've dealt with this all my life and I'M JUST TIRED OF IT! I JUST AM! IT'S TOO MUCH! School gives me too much homework, and my brother doesn't seem to understand the words "my computer". I just wish someone would listen and understand! It's like all bits of kids vanish when people grow up.
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Uuuuuuuuggggghhhh school is so boring. I feel like it's such a waste of my time. I know how to do this stuff (even though I'll probably never have to out of school).
I would like some math teacher to tell me when I will ever have to know how to find landmarks in number sets, measure an angle, or do any of that shit. Seriously. When will I ever have to do anything that we're learning, in the real world? Adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, reading numbers, basic stuff like that (that we learned like three years ago by the way), I can understand. But not all that other crap. And not only will I never need this stuff, but I know how to do about 90% of the stuff we're doing in my core classes. aoifisjniuidfnugidfigniodfug I'm so done. |
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I'm so conflicted right now...
So this guy asked me to homecoming. I went with him, and I honestly had a good time. He's a really nice, funny guy. And I thought that would be the end of it... ...but now several friends who have talked to him are saying that he's going to ask me out. And I've put 2 and 2 together and I figure that he's going to ask me tomorrow, on my birthday. Problem is, I don't really like him like that. He's a really good friend, and he's super nice, but...he's [i]just/I] a friend right now. And I have no idea what to say when he asks me! I don't want to hurt him, because according to my friends who have talked to him, he's liked me since last year. Sooo, tomorrow's going to be bittersweet. On one hand, I'm so so so excited that I'm finally turning 15, but on the other hand, I don't want to screw up a friendship... Advice? Please? |
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i just realized something scary
i'm super smart i kick ass at whatever i want to i have my own style and it's awesome i'm beautiful and amazing and i'm not alone people actually give a shit about me and for like the first time in my life i have freaking friends. people who care about me and trust me and love me. i have people i can trust. i have a boy who brightens up my day whenever we talk together. i have a girl who knows exactly what to say to me and when to give me a hug. i have a freaking awesome life and to all of you... it gets better. i swear, you might feel like you're alone but that can change. I found people that I can love and trust on the school bus, of all places. Just keep looking. |
So. I'm kinda freaked out. I guess that would be the right word XP
So I started thinking about leaving kidpub. I'm just getting too old :\ I've been on here forever and am one of the oldest authors on here. One month till I turn 16..... And when I started thinking about it, I realized just how much KP means to me. This is literally my second home. Almost every day after school, this is my refuge. This is where I go. I've made some awesome friends on here and leaving is going to be super hard :c I remember a couple years ago I was feeling relief because I had so much more time to kill before leaving KP. And now? *shudders* I've relied on Kidpub and the Kidpubbians for so much.... like on this thread. You guys are the people that accepted me for who I was; completely crazy. You helped me through some of the issues in my life..... and truthfully, I think I'd be dead without you guys. You've been the only people who listened to me and didn't judge me, even if you haven't actually met me. I was able to show you guys my real personality. Sorry if I sound like I'm rambling. I just feel like this needs to be said. KP/WB has been a huge part of my life. Without you I would've given up on my novel ages ago. Given up on writing. But all of that is going to end. Throughout changing school and everything, this website was the only thing that stayed. Everyone on here stayed. It's just terrifying to think of going on in life, like in college, completely alone and not having anyone to come back too. I think I've become too connected with this website e.o But in a weird, twisted vision, it's like loving a small animal. You love them to death with the time you have with them. You don't distance yourself. You just love them. And when they are deceased your heart aches and you miss them so much. So, yeah. That was my odd speech. If you read all of that, I'm sorry XD |
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Been crying for a while. Augustus Waters just broke my heart. (The Fault in Our Stars). I think it's because a lot of people close to me had cancer but now I can't get it out of my head.
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So I think I'm going to go to some counseling at school. Stress management is nonexistent for me and in a school that's known for being high stress, high achievement, and high pressure, I HAVE to learn to manage stress or I will die by the end of freshman year.
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For everyone:
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I really have to try right now not to cry. I'm not ready.
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How I end up looking and sounding when I try to explain any of the SciFi shows/movies/books that I like:
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6...mo7_r3_250.gif |
So I'm kind of mad at myself because of boy problems. And bleh. In short, I stopped having a crush on this guy because of reasons, but now I'm like "WUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE" and I might, and I think I have a crush on like three or four other guys and it's like "AAAAAAAAH TARKA YOU FLIGHTY FLIRTY POOP WHAT ARE YOU THINKING" -_-
I mean, it's NORMAL to have a crush on several guys at the same time...... Right? I'm really ticked at myself right now -_- |
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