:^I Don't believe her. You're awesome.
If it gets bad… you should tell someone, someone in real life. All we can offer, for the most part, is advice and comfort. It'd be helpful to have someone in real life to know what you're going through and to help you.

AA: I haven't really been out of the house since Tuesday. :p e_e Pretend you're somewhere else, and act like you are? Or watch a movie or TV show/read?

Random caged-in feelings are hopefully normal for girls my age.

I hate life. I wonder if anyone would miss me if I was gone. :(

Shut up. I'd miss you. So there.

*le superior look*

It's just....I feel so alone at school, I'm terrible at athletics at school, while I'm actually a pretty good athelete (not trying to sound snotty or anything) and my "best" friend is dumping me for another girl....I don't know. :( I've pretty much given up.

Then... write for a school magazine.

We don't have a school magazine. Or newspaper.

HECK NO.
*Would post picture that says "You're more awesome than a double rainbow" but can't find it*
Ignore your friend. She doesn't seem deserving of your awesomeness. :D

(Srsly, why'd that picture have to disappear, I loved it so much… T_T)

Then start a school magazine. :cool:

Or if you can't do that, then devote your school life to acing math.

Thanks guys. :) you made me feel better.

Freaking Happy
 

There are so many depressed posts on this threaaadd... D: Am I the only optimist? :3
I'm FREAKING HAPPY. Ok? XD PEOPLE BE HAPPY WITH MEEE.

I was happyish earlier today. :D And now I'm tiredish…
8'D for you being happy. :^DDD

WELL. That's much better.





My mom told me that when I would start getting mood swings and thinking that life sucks and hating her and hating everything. She didn't tell me about the random bubbly moments. 8D

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lJfLUemBQ_...ancing-cat.jpg

“No, really. Stop crying, you’ve got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, 9-to-5 assistant, nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boy-o." ~ The Doctor, to a baby who calls himself Stormaggedon. :D
Sorry, had to post that. :p

Adults don't have fricking sense.

Just out of curiosity... do you actually have legitimate voices?
I've been thinking about those a lot, too...

I had voices when I was about four... I was so freaked out. They went away in a few days, though.

Hurt
 

I got in my fist KP fight today. I said something mean, but I apologized. Instead of being forgiven, I got called negative, defensive, proud, and unintelligent.
Now that's all I can think about. Am I really unintelligent? :confused:

Relax, Evyn. I still cringe myself when I think of my newbie days and the stupid fights. It's totally okay, and we all like you. Or at least I do. It's definitely not in my nature to hold grudges.

Thanks. I guess I'm just not used to fighting. I've been on this site for like, years, and I've managed to get along with everyone for that long.

It says that you joined March 2011...

You don't need to be forgiven by other people. I forgive you for what you said. I'm sorry that you feel that way about me, anyway.

That was when I got on Writer's Block. I've been on KP for much longer.

Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

I'm feeling pretty happy. I'm looking forward to summer, where I can try some writing camps without distractions. My mom sent an email to the local newspaper saying that they should consider my writing. :D I'm joyous that she did that, but also expecting rejection.

I have no idea how I make friends. I have no idea how I lost half my awkwardness when doing my English speaking report in front of the class. It's usually the others who make the first step. I remember making friends with a brattish person, and that was because she sat behind me. There was a big bunch of people I played with, and then I had this huge fight *coughwithexpletivesexcusemecough* with her--on Facebook, so no one heard us. Then now I play with two of that big bunch, which has dwindled down into a threesome, and I'm happy this way.

I have a small amount of friends and my own brain.

XD a few people hate me, rather, a lot of people hate me, and some people like me.

You should really try talking to your mom.. see how that works. And as for the awkwardness, don't beat yourself up over it. We're all awkward one way or another, and when you're in public school, I'm pretty sure you won't be Forever Alone. It's hard to even be alone in public school, as much as you might want it. ;)

I'm happy. Not joyful, or even cheerful. Just happy. I feel... free.

Talk to your mom, but don't bother with telling her that you're gay. I promise she wants to hear the truth from you.
I really hope you feel better soon. :)

Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude, but...
 

YOU?! The great KP legend, the I-lost-the-Gamer, the epykal-tastic LST, Forever Alone?! I refuse to believe it! I refuse! Well, put it this way, your life's whatever you make of it and it'll only end up Forever Alone if you let it. I don't truly believe you, YOU the epyk-tastical ILTGamer LST legend that I know, will be Forever Alone as an adult. Besides, lone wolves roam, so they say. I'm an isolated homeschooler me-self, so I totally know what you mean. But, take every chance and work it, you'll make friends! Problem with that is, though, that I've been getting SICK and TIRED of taking the first step in making friends, me having to be the "New Girl" every few years, ME having to sit around and watch the cliques, ME having to WAIT for someone to respond. It gets annoying, but being friendly and keeping occupied with friends/books/KP helps. Imma lone wolf, you be lone wolf, we homeschoolers are like that, right? :) And there's that smiley we hate so much. XD

*raises hand*

I'm not unsocialized!

http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

I'm going to be attending high school in four months. P_P I'm going to be Forever Alone as well.
You're amazing LST, I'm sure you'll make some friends AS. SOON. AS. YOU. STEP. INTO. THAT. PUBLIC. SCHOOL. BUILDING.

*reads back my post* *facepalm*

I'm looking forward to a private middle school. It should cure this weird urge I have sometimes to kick butt in an epic win over people I dislike. 8D

*Is glad you're feeling that way* I'm estatic you're alive. XD

I'm just like the ^_^ lolcat. :D

http://ejyoung.com/wp-content/upload...ppy_lolcat.jpg

*wipes tear from eye* That cat is adorable!! ^_^ *glomps cat* :D

This one is cuter.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Is8bkErrqa...cat_pirate.jpg