The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299110)

Thanks, Sandy, it's nice talking to someone who knows firsthand. :3 I'm sorry you went through that, too. But I guess things always work out in the end.......

It's no problem. I've got it under control, but I have to work out like a crazy demon so I don't have excess energy to torment myself with. >_< That's how I've been dealing with it.
Yeah... I hope so. :^/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299077)

Does anyone know where I can watch episodes of Dawson's Creek online for free? >.<

*makes a face* Dawson's Creek?

You can watch it instantly on Netflix, if you have it...

Caleigh, don't let your parents deter you. Whenever my parents do that, I just say, 'I'm going through the process of puberty!' xD. That was my excuse to eat peanuts, too, before dinner.
That was also what I said to my friend who thought she was FAT, even though I'm like five kg heavier than she was and I don't think I'm fat :P It was just because of her freaking thigh! :/

Caleigh, have either of your parents been through anything similar to what you're going through? If they haven't then the chances are they won't understand how much it's upsetting you that they're treating you like that. Talk to them, and let them know how you feel. Remember, the best way to be beautiful is to be happy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 299015)

I don’t really know how to start this. Maybe because I’m paranoid my parent’s will stumble upon this and…I don’t know. They didn’t want me to say my “woes” at church, so what would they do if they found out I was telling my feelings to a bunch of kids I’ve never met? Well, you guys are more than that. You can go from a friend, to a therapist, in the blink of an eye. I think I know how to start this now…

As I’m sure you know, Majors and Minors auditions are coming up in 19 days. I was so excited when Mom told me I could try out. I was about to cry from excitement. Now I’m about to cry from…everything that has happened. I mean, I’m just some “fat” country girl with gappy teeth and a dream I know I’ll never have. And that tears. me. apart. There is nothing else I want to do besides singing for a living, writing on the side, and…just the doubt is eating me alive. There’s gonna be a lot more prettier, skinnier people auditioning, and no one wants an ugly duckling on their show. *sighs*

Now for the main thing. My self-esteem has probably been completely ruined. Of course there were always the occasional “thigh” jokes from the guys at school, but I shrugged them off. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this. This was so completely different. Because instead of a bunch of immature guys at school, this was my parents. It all started on Sunday. I wore my Mom’s t-shirt to church because it was prettier than my UK shirt, so I tied it back. I bent down to tie my shoes, and I guess my shirt rode up, because Mom told me to stand up and turn around. She told me those jeans were way too tight, only they felt fine to me. I thought she was kidding, so I said, “Is that a fat joke?” And she said, “Yeah, it is. And I’m not buying you more jeans if you have to get a bigger size. I’m going to Wal-Mart to get some fruit because you’re going on a diet.” That completely broke me. It was right before we left for church, too, and I was trying so hard not to burst into tears. I thought I was average. My BMI was average, and I was happy. My parents think all I do all day is eat on the couch, and KidPub, but I play Just Dance, I exercise, and I practice for Majors and Minors. They don’t get it, and they don’t even try to. I really want to talk to them about it, but all I get is “It’s for your own good.” and “We care about you.” PARENTS DON’T ALWAYS KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR THEIR KIDS!!!

So now I’m being forced on a diet, even though I’m average weight, height, everything. I feel…broken. And empty. And sad. And depressed. And angry. And confused. Not the slightest bit happy, like I should be. I’M SO TIRED OF PUTTING ON A HAPPY FACE AND BOTTLING UP MY FEELINGS. I FEEL LIKE I’M ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS. And I went over to Haley’s house last night, and as soon as I got into the car, my Dad started talking about carbs. -_- I’m just…tired. I’m happy in my own skin, and I don’t see why my parents just can’t be happy for me. I’m always active, so…yeah. I don’t think I’m gonna gain a million pounds and be on one of those “Half-Ton Teen” TV shows. Everytime I accomplish something, my parents always want more from me, and I just..can’t. I’m so close to my breaking point…I can’t be PERFECT. Ohmigosh there is no way on Earth I CAN EVER BE PERFECT, SO WHY ISN’T PLAIN OLE’ CALEGH GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ANYMORE?!?! I’m going completely insane…sobbing in the shower, doing ten minutes of yoga just to calm down after I sob in the shower, etc.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!!!

Skittles, I've never really talked to you before, and you probably don't know who I am, but I KNOW you don't deserve something like that to happen to you. It's just wrong. I can see that your hurt. And whenever my family is hurt, I get angry. I try and protect them as best as I can. So here I go.

I have stopped doing sport for about six months now. I've been suffering from those jokes at school about 'fatness' but I've always brushed them off. But the other day, when I searched through my cupboard and NOTHING fit me anymore, not even the new jeans I'd just bought the week before, that REALLY hurt. For a couple if weeks, you could say I was depressed. But then I realised something. I am me. Not pretty, not skinny, and DEFINETLY not perfect. But that was just who I was. And NO ONE can change that. NO ONE can change who I am. And if they try to, I will give it all I've got, to prove they are wrong.

So Caleigh, I've just got one thing to say. Tell them. Tell your parents, tell them how you feel. I know it's hard to do this. It's REALLY hard. So take to something you know how to do well. Something from the heart. Sing.

Just sing. Take it from a fellow singer like me. You know how much better it makes you feel. So pick a song that describes your emotions perfectly. Turn the music up REALLY loud, and just sing. Sing your heart out. Sing with every ounce you've got. Sing the loudest you've ever sung before. Just zone out from all the hurt, sing like no one is listening. Sream the words. And make sure your parents can hear. :)
And hopefully, after all that, they will understand. Hopefully they will understand that you, that no one, ever deserves to have to go through that. And if they don't, they don't know you. So tell them Caleigh. Give it all you've got and just tell them.
And hopefully they will understand.
Because you're perfect the way you are. And NO ONE, can change that.
:)
And if majors and minors just pick the singers that look like models but aren't very good singers, then this worlds music is going to be the worst music in the history of the universe. And I know you've got a beautiful voice inside of you caleigh, so make sure they hear it. Make sure you tell them that this is who you are and they can't change that.
And I'm sure they'll pick you to be on the show. I'M SURE. Cause you a beautiful singer and an even beautifuller person.
I hope you understand that. :)

~Tygerblossum

I need help. :/

So for weeks now, I've felt depressed. There are several reasons why- because my best friend since 4th grade is moving (I'm not exactly an outgoing person) because my boyfriend broke up with me, and because I'm feeling all this stress and I don't know why.

Yesterday....yesterday was the first time in what feels like FOREVER that I've actually been happy. Not fake-happy- genuinely happy. Because....well because I'm going back out with my boyfriend, and a lot of stress seemed to disappear. Because I chatted with some of my close friends. It just felt like a good day.

Today everything crumbled around my shoulders. AGAIN. Now I'm feeling depressed ALL OVER AGAIN. Why?

My best friend.

My best friend, the one that's moving, texted me today. She was angry I was going back out with my boyfriend. She claims he's 'using me' and that he's going to keep breaking up with me and asking me out again. She even said that I'm going to end up like this one girl at school who dates anyone and everyone who asks her out, and who breaks up and goes back out with her boyfriend several times. I don't want to be like her, and I would never do this again. This is the last time.

But it's made me depressed again and now I'm honestly starting to wonder what to do. Is she right? Or not? Should I heed her advice? Or not? I don't know what to do and I need you guys' help. >.<

I'm sick and TIRED of feeling depressed. I'm SICK AND TIRED of pretending to be happy when I'm crying on the inside. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want my old-self back, the self that was almost always happy. I can't deal with all of this. I've already lost two best friends and I don't want to lose her. But I'm honestly wondering what to do about this who boyfriend situation.

Help?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudwriter (Post 299164)

Just do what makes you happiest, whether it's in the long term or the short term. Your best friend hasn't been in the exact same situation as you, so don't let her make the decisions for you. Don't be afraid of what other people think, as long as you're confident that you made the right decision.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 299165)

Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better. (:

You're welcome, that's what this thread is for!

Caleigh:
This was last year's Major's and Minors winner.
http://media.social.s-msn.com/images...rd_547x336.jpg

Does he look skinny to you?
In fact, none of the contestants looked super skinny to me, except the girls in the middle, but they look very petite to me.
http://cdn.eurweb.com/wp-content/upl...inors-cast.jpg

You're FINE. They care about the voice more than the looks.