The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

pluzzle 01-18-2015 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 564812)
She already knew, but she said that she'll always love me no matter what, and she asked how I knew and I told her that I had a crush on a guy last year. :)

aaa thats awesome congrats!! but like how did she already know ?
Quote:

Originally Posted by venika (Post 564821)
your curriculum sounds p cool in relation to like choosing subjects and stuff... i mean for us we have to take all subjects until grade 8, and then in grade nine/freshman year we can choose between history/geography and art/music/drama/etc, and after grade 10 we choose six subjects out of specific groups like a first language, a second language, a science, a math course, a humanities course and an elective, something like that. yeah. idk about whether we can change tho?

but like, our school is actually rly good when it comes to when we can choose subjects by, at least compared to other schools. there are a lot of schools where i live (my friend's in one) where you have to like make major decisions by ninth grade... (ofc i think they can make minor changes but they have like major exams in 10th and 12th grade so idk how that would work out if you change subjects in junior year/eleventh grade.... and i have cousins in schools where you literally have to choose what career you want after you finish tenth grade. so yeah...

but yeah the above was what i was basing it on xD





ty :P

hahaha ok. u have to take two languages??.? jesus christ that sounds hard

SeptemberLove 01-18-2015 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 564812)
She already knew, but she said that she'll always love me no matter what, and she asked how I knew and I told her that I had a crush on a guy last year. :)

That's great! I'm so happy for you!!!

maxi 01-18-2015 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeptemberLove (Post 564842)
That's great! I'm so happy for you!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 564833)
aaa thats awesome congrats!! but like how did she already know ?

hahaha ok. u have to take two languages??.? jesus christ that sounds hard

She said she knew since I was 5. :P

Lena 01-18-2015 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 564812)
She already knew, but she said that she'll always love me no matter what, and she asked how I knew and I told her that I had a crush on a guy last year. :)

yayyy <333 i'm glad it worked out

strawberry 01-18-2015 10:08 PM

this is nothing serious but i just needed to say this
i know somewhere deep down that ill never find that special someone or be loved the way i catch myself wishing i could and i know most things relationship-wise will never work out bc we're at an age where most ppl are shallow and idiots and don't really think too deeply about things
my friend broke up with a guy a few months ago and all i was thinking was 'it wasn't going to work out anyway' but she was crying and i felt terrible and couldn't comfort her for the life of me and wow i really am a 'bitter old lady' as she dubs me
im not even ashamed of that lil nickname but i just wish i didn't feel so empty and like no one will ever truly care when i know it's futile to hope for love right now
ugh
that's all bye

meerkat 01-18-2015 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberry (Post 564861)
this is nothing serious but i just needed to say this
i know somewhere deep down that ill never find that special someone or be loved the way i catch myself wishing i could and i know most things relationship-wise will never work out bc we're at an age where most ppl are shallow and idiots and don't really think too deeply about things
my friend broke up with a guy a few months ago and all i was thinking was 'it wasn't going to work out anyway' but she was crying and i felt terrible and couldn't comfort her for the life of me and wow i really am a 'bitter old lady' as she dubs me
im not even ashamed of that lil nickname but i just wish i didn't feel so empty and like no one will ever truly care when i know it's futile to hope for love right now
ugh
that's all bye

hey
sravani
shh it's gonna be ok
remember i love you intensely and platonically (remember that reference?!)
if you're a bitter old lady what am i? you know my views on romantic love in general (not that special, never works at any age) and everything
im right here and i promise you that you're all right and you're more rational than most other kids our age and i respect that.
and remember that there are people out there (namely me and a lot of others) who would do anything for you.
you just told me you're alright now but ill leave this here in case you need it.
<3

meerkat 01-19-2015 12:50 AM

tbh if you think im overprotective and annoying please let me know asap :)
i feel so aromantic now and idek if that's good like it all seems pointless and it isn't anything more than friends and ughhh je ne comprends rien and i have french hw to do so i can maintain this passable 4.0 GPA somehow because i need perfection and this started as one vent but became another ok hi

rebecca 01-19-2015 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 564866)
tbh if you think im overprotective and annoying please let me know asap :)
i feel so aromantic now and idek if that's good like it all seems pointless and it isn't anything more than friends and ughhh je ne comprends rien and i have french hw to do so i can maintain this passable 4.0 GPA somehow because i need perfection and this started as one vent but became another ok hi

What is a GPA exactly?

venika 01-19-2015 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 564833)
aaa thats awesome congrats!! but like how did she already know ?

hahaha ok. u have to take two languages??.? jesus christ that sounds hard

three languages, if you count english, until tenth grade x.x :P

meerkat 01-19-2015 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 564872)
What is a GPA exactly?

Grade point average. A 4.0 is the highest you can get at my school but I have high standards for myself so that's pretty much the only thing I'll accept.

CosmoCat 01-19-2015 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 564872)
What is a GPA exactly?

yeah, gpas are stupid. You have a report card in elementary school and middle school, but then as soon as you become a teenager, you get a GPA in high school. people are always saying that your GPA has to be AS PERFECT AS POSSIBLE but they also act like it's way too hard to get straight As and a 4.0 so *shrugs*

But then your high school GPA only helps you get into college or into a job before/during college. After that, you get a College GPA and you have to work your butt off for those grades all over again. And depending on the school you go to, you can have all A's and still have below a 4.0 GPA (*points at my one A- that has now brought me down to like a 3.8*)

Thank goodness for extra credit because apparently it's possible to get above a 4.0 if you inflate your grade (*points at the A+ because i got over 100% of the points possible in a class*)

So, yeah, they're pretty weird and basically pressure you to do even better than your best. No problem with that, but I was super upset to hear that your high school GPA doesn't matter too much once you've started college classes. TTuTT

CosmoCat 01-19-2015 01:57 PM

apologies for the terrible "advice" TT-TT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by venika (Post 564896)
something's going to happen.
something bad.
and it will be my fault, somehow.
idk this may seem stupid, but i have this impending feeling of doom right now.
so yay haha one more thing i'll fuck up

hey, it's cool. I feel the same way, but because of gas prices going down. TT-TT like, world war III will break out because I had a sinking feeling about $1.89 gas and I didn't warn anybody.

so, i know that feeling is hard to shake, but at least you'll be a bit more prepared than someone who had that feeling for a minute and forgot about it. like, if anything does happen, you will be the least surprised and thus the first to act. it's gonna be okay

pluzzle 01-19-2015 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venika (Post 564888)
three languages, if you count english, until tenth grade x.x :P

omg im sorry that sounds so hard id probably mix them up haa
Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmoCat (Post 564895)
yeah, gpas are stupid. You have a report card in elementary school and middle school, but then as soon as you become a teenager, you get a GPA in high school. people are always saying that your GPA has to be AS PERFECT AS POSSIBLE but they also act like it's way too hard to get straight As and a 4.0 so *shrugs*

But then your high school GPA only helps you get into college or into a job before/during college. After that, you get a College GPA and you have to work your butt off for those grades all over again. And depending on the school you go to, you can have all A's and still have below a 4.0 GPA (*points at my one A- that has now brought me down to like a 3.8*)

Thank goodness for extra credit because apparently it's possible to get above a 4.0 if you inflate your grade (*points at the A+ because i got over 100% of the points possible in a class*)

So, yeah, they're pretty weird and basically pressure you to do even better than your best. No problem with that, but I was super upset to hear that your high school GPA doesn't matter too much once you've started college classes. TTuTT

THATS SO WEIrd.... like here its report card and at some schools a gpa that goes up to 15 - thats ridiculously biased - but not all schools. in uni to get honours you need gpa 6.5+ tho

venika 01-19-2015 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmoCat (Post 564905)
hey, it's cool. I feel the same way, but because of gas prices going down. TT-TT like, world war III will break out because I had a sinking feeling about $1.89 gas and I didn't warn anybody.

so, i know that feeling is hard to shake, but at least you'll be a bit more prepared than someone who had that feeling for a minute and forgot about it. like, if anything does happen, you will be the least surprised and thus the first to act. it's gonna be okay

haha thanks. yeah i guess so i mean i wouldn't want to be surprised with bad news so >.>

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 564906)
omg im sorry that sounds so hard id probably mix them up haa

i do all the time, like with the two second languages i'm always like "ok this is how i'd translate this sentence oh wait wrong language nvm" XD XD

meerkat 01-19-2015 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venika (Post 564908)
haha thanks. yeah i guess so i mean i wouldn't want to be surprised with bad news so >.>



i do all the time, like with the two second languages i'm always like "ok this is how i'd translate this sentence oh wait wrong language nvm" XD XD

ohmygosh yes
i speak three languages and i always speak tamil in french class and french to my tamil-speaking grandmother and its soooooo confusing

CosmoCat 01-19-2015 03:07 PM

I Just Heard My Mom Talkking To My Sistesr About Seasonal Affective Disorder And How People With Depression End Up Fighting Off "these Depressive Moods For The Rest Of Their Life" And I'm So Scared Because I Reminded Her About The E-mail Last Night. If She Read It Already, She Probalby Thinks There's Something Wrong With Me. And I Even Mentioned Sad In The E-mail So I'm Not Sure If She Knew That Already Or If She Just Learned About It Because I Said I Might Have It. Guys I'm Dead. I'm So Dead. She's Going To Think I'm Telling Myself I Have A Serious Problem. What If She Doesn't Get Me Help. I've Been Lying To Myself All Week That She's Going To Read The E-mail And Get Me Some Help. I'm So Scared And I Don't Even Know What To Do Except Go On The Interent And Yell At Strangers While Constantly Misspelling Things And Hoping That My Desperate Caps Lock Style Stays. But Reallly I'm So Dead And I'm Afraid To Get Up And Get A Snack Now Because I'll Have To Go Face Her And Talk To Her

Lena 01-19-2015 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmoCat (Post 564914)
I Just Heard My Mom Talkking To My Sistesr About Seasonal Affective Disorder And How People With Depression End Up Fighting Off "these Depressive Moods For The Rest Of Their Life" And I'm So Scared Because I Reminded Her About The E-mail Last Night. If She Read It Already, She Probalby Thinks There's Something Wrong With Me. And I Even Mentioned Sad In The E-mail So I'm Not Sure If She Knew That Already Or If She Just Learned About It Because I Said I Might Have It. Guys I'm Dead. I'm So Dead. She's Going To Think I'm Telling Myself I Have A Serious Problem. What If She Doesn't Get Me Help. I've Been Lying To Myself All Week That She's Going To Read The E-mail And Get Me Some Help. I'm So Scared And I Don't Even Know What To Do Except Go On The Interent And Yell At Strangers While Constantly Misspelling Things And Hoping That My Desperate Caps Lock Style Stays. But Reallly I'm So Dead And I'm Afraid To Get Up And Get A Snack Now Because I'll Have To Go Face Her And Talk To Her

(*hugs super tight*) shh it'll be okay. believe me, i know how this feels. take some deep breaths, hug a stuffed animal, just do your best to calm down. you can try to reason with her, right? or maybe with someone else in the family who can help you convince her that you do need some real help?

cloudwriter 01-19-2015 05:01 PM

So over the summer my depression started getting really bad. And then, very slowly it started getting better. And for a few months I actually started feeling pretty good again. And then it got bad again. Really bad. And I started talking to this guy and somehow he helps my depression but I'm so scared because the way he's talking and, well, I can't put it on the internet and I can't tell anyone and God I can't do that but if I stop talking to him the depression is going to swallow me alive again and I don't want to go back there D:

pluzzle 01-19-2015 08:29 PM

Mmmmmsomething Reminde D M E Of Why I Hate Myself Iand I Am Suicidal Nwo

Frostblaze 01-19-2015 08:56 PM

Clay no...please you are so special to us, and we need you here it's not KP without you *huggles you into submission* You're so great and you're really cute, and you bring so much awesomeness into KP. Please stay here and let us love you from KP. Is there anything i can do

pluzzle 01-19-2015 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 564936)
Clay no...please you are so special to us, and we need you here it's not KP without you *huggles you into submission* You're so great and you're really cute, and you bring so much awesomeness into KP. Please stay here and let us love you from KP. Is there anything i can do

thanks frost but im ok ill be fine :)

CosmoCat 01-19-2015 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 564934)
Mmmmmsomething Reminde D M E Of Why I Hate Myself Iand I Am Suicidal Nwo

MILO NO (i would say clay, but your sig says milo. pls correct me if i'm wrong)

but i'm just gonna waddle over and hug you until you're uncomfortable or you feel better. because you're loved and cared for and valued, even by strangers who only know you over the internet. But we would still be upset if you died.

and whenever i feel suicidal (NOT SUGARCOATING IT) i think about the news reports on people who have commited suicide. I try to imagine my still body in a coffin or my pictures as the only things my family can remember me by or how many terrible people will consume the world if I just give up and stop being uniquely me. If you think about this for a long time, you might be able to scare yourself away from actually doing anything harmful.

as for the hate part, imagine a younger version of you sitting nearby. tell them all the terrible things you tell yourself and imagine their reaction, their horror, and their big ugly tears as they wonder why someone would say such mean things to them. This is what you're doing to yourself. and none of us have to do it. Yes, it's hard to stop, but at least thinking about it like this makes it go away a little (or at least replaces those terrible feelings with slight guilt).

So keep yourself safe and know that we love you, no matter what

Lily09 01-19-2015 10:13 PM

hey guys i spent the past few days in a mental hospital for suicidal ideations.

it is not pleasant at all.

it helps though. it helps in that its so fucking terrible that you realize that yes, you do in fact want to be alive for better shit than that.

stay alive kids. stay safe.

maxi 01-19-2015 10:15 PM

A guy flirted with me today. c:

pluzzle 01-19-2015 10:22 PM

COSMO ATY... THANK u.... C:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 564948)
hey guys i spent the past few days in a mental hospital for suicidal ideations.

it is not pleasant at all.

it helps though. it helps in that its so fucking terrible that you realize that yes, you do in fact want to be alive for better shit than that.

stay alive kids. stay safe.

if u domt want me to quote this lemme knwow!!

i am glad u r feeling better friend :)

venika 01-20-2015 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 564911)
ohmygosh yes
i speak three languages and i always speak tamil in french class and french to my tamil-speaking grandmother and its soooooo confusing

ahaha *three languages-speaker-ppl hi-five* :P :P
even though i'm only a native speaker in english lol
all of my friends speak 2+ languages fluently and i'm just here like #unilingual XD

venika 01-20-2015 10:37 AM

okay so
i had this project due in last monday. on sunday, i asked my teacher for extra time bc of someone in my family going to the hospital and also because i was really overwhelmed bc i chose to do a really complex version of the assignment. she gave me until thursday but she said i could ask for more time if i needed to. the thing is, i really couldn't concentrate. like, i tried so damn hard and it didn't work. usually the pressure kicks in but it didn't work and i was already feeling like shit so yeah nice addition to the week

and then the weekend passed, i still didn't do anything about the project bc i had two other academic events that were happening sunday and monday. i literally only did like 14% of this thing. today my teacher talked to me abt not handing it in and then she had to talk to the highschool coordinator and just? that was so stressful in itself but luckily i didn't get in trouble bc when i explained they said that i was obviously v overwhelmed and that maybe i shoudl talk to our school counselor and they were really nice abt it and that was a relief

and then when i did go and see the counselor she found out abt how i was cutting ughughugh and idk whether she's told my parents yet but i'm super stressed out and though in school it felt rly good to talk about things at last but ugh i just feel miserable and awful and empty hahaha i reallyreally want to die rn lol

<please don't quote? ty>

Lena 01-20-2015 09:20 PM

i don't know
i don't know how to handle everything that's being thrown at me right now

Frostblaze 01-20-2015 09:47 PM

I asked my mom if she and dad were getting a divorce.
She said she didn't know.
She's never said that.
Guys...I'm so scared...I dunno if anyone cares anymore, but please...I'm so scared...

Swallowtail 01-20-2015 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 565007)
I asked my mom if she and dad were getting a divorce.
She said she didn't know.
She's never said that.
Guys...I'm so scared...I dunno if anyone cares anymore, but please...I'm so scared...

It's going to be okay. They probably won't divorce, but even if they do, they will still always love you. Okay?

Frostblaze 01-20-2015 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swallowtail (Post 565008)
It's going to be okay. They probably won't divorce, but even if they do, they will still always love you. Okay?

But I can't imagine a life without my dad...
Who's going to help me with boys? Who's gonna take me hunting? Who's gonna watch Gravity Falls with me and Molly and mom? :c
Two days and my troubles are slowly mounting...

cloudwriter 01-20-2015 10:20 PM

I can't go back there. Hope you can forgive me

Swallowtail 01-20-2015 10:41 PM

A lot of kids with divorced parents will stay half the week with their mother, and the other half with their father. My little cousin is divorced, and she does that. She still does things with both her parents, and they can still get along well enough to do that. Sometimes my parents get mad at each other, but so far they have always worked it out. Yours will probably do that as well, so try not to worry about it too much, okay? Eat some chocolate, pet your cat, and think of all the good things in your life.

CosmoCat 01-21-2015 12:30 AM

if it helps, I can pray for you
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 565009)
But I can't imagine a life without my dad...
Who's going to help me with boys? Who's gonna take me hunting? Who's gonna watch Gravity Falls with me and Molly and mom? :c
Two days and my troubles are slowly mounting...

alright, I came here to whine about my mom answering my depression e-mail, but right now, I think some reassuring words would help a little more.

first of all, OMG GRAVITY FALLS so sorry, i just finished it and i'm obsessed.

Secondly, your dad won't entirely leave your life. I was shocked to hear that my parents divorced; they seemed like the type that would never ever ever break up, and to this day I don't know why they split.

But let me tell you. This is not the end of a life. It's the start of another. It was hard and heartbreaking to leave that 2-parent household I loved and used to know, but I'm dealing with a whole new set of adventures (as well as problems) that I never would have experienced without this divorce.

My dad was in the military, stationed overseas for 2 years. He then lived out of state for at least another 3, allowing our family to be together only months at a time. I miss those days, but I also learned to cherish them. Little did I know Mom and Dad were splitting and it was simply horrifying to think about the life I was about to lead. But who knows the future (except for God)?

I didn't know this would cause me to mature faster. I didn't know this would cause me to take risks and go to college early. I didn't know this would allow me to find myself and reunite myself with God. I didn't know this would bring me closer to my entire family. I didn't know this would cause me to make more friends. I didn't know this would lead me away from the bad things I had been thinking and towards new ideas. I didn't know this would help me enjoy my memories more than ever. And I had no idea that this kind of lifestyle would be so enjoyable.

Yes, there's always the elephant in the room sort of thing where I feel like I'm living two lives (I don't want to talk about Dad around Mom and I feel like I can't mention Mom around Dad. it took me almost a year to get used to hearing "your mom" and "your dad" from the people who had addressed each other by name before).

But I honestly enjoy the life I live with my Dad and the life I live with my Mom. Living in the city for a while, connecting with my Vietnamese side of the family, sharing a room with my sisters, being a complete and total nerd, HAVING A COMIC BOOK STORE NEARBY, living in a small apartment, being the mature older sister (i'm the middle sis btw), and having a pet free house is something new and exciting that I never could have imagined myself enjoying. Living in the country surrounded by my mom's family, knowing/recognizing almost everyone in town because it's so small, being able to see nature so close up, BEING SURROUNDED BY CATS, going to school with amazing people, and having my own room and familiar house is something that I still love, but that I grew to love in a different light now that I have been away from it.

I guess what I'm saying is that I really hope your parents don't divorce because it does lead to stress and confusion for a while. But if anything does happen, know that I will stick with you through it all. I'll pray for you and you can talk to me about any problems you have. If you really want to say something privately, e-mail me (it's somewhere on the main site. just ask me 4 it). I want to help you out best I can seeing as how I can't physically talk to you or hug you or feed you cookies. But I'm right here and I've already been through this.




and...for a long time i wondered why something this terrible could happen to me (i'm crying now). but then I wondered if my pain and my hardship and my struggle would help someone someday. so that they wouldn't have to go through what i did. so that i could teach them something from my experience and not theirs. maybe this is why i've gone through this. so someone else doesn't have to. Even if that's not why, it gives me a sense of purpose among thoughts of uselessness and doubt. So, even if I didn't really help you, you may have helped me. Thank you so much.

pluzzle 01-21-2015 12:44 AM

how did the email go?

meerkat 01-21-2015 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venika (Post 564969)
ahaha *three languages-speaker-ppl hi-five* :P :P
even though i'm only a native speaker in english lol
all of my friends speak 2+ languages fluently and i'm just here like #unilingual XD

I'm native in two and have taught both of them before. As for French, I had a 140% in that class last year. So yeah, I still get them mixed up all the time.

CosmoCat 01-21-2015 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 565041)
how did the email go?

oh me?

Gosh, it was hard to read, but she's super worried and very supportive. She's offered to take me to a doctor, find a club so I can be with people my age, move so I can start college early, and so on. she's prepared to go above and beyond to say the least. It made me cry a lot because she keeps saying that theses circumstances we're in is her fault when really a lot of it was my choice to not socialize (and it's kind of my fault i'm mature. TTuTT)

but it made me really happy to know that she's on my side and she's going to stick with it. I may not have major depression, but she's definitely considering something mental, physical, or simply Seasonal Affective Disorder. Still, she's ready to take me to a doctor and I'm so glad she responded.

Thank you so much for asking!

pluzzle 01-21-2015 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmoCat (Post 565056)
oh me?

Gosh, it was hard to read, but she's super worried and very supportive. She's offered to take me to a doctor, find a club so I can be with people my age, move so I can start college early, and so on. she's prepared to go above and beyond to say the least. It made me cry a lot because she keeps saying that theses circumstances we're in is her fault when really a lot of it was my choice to not socialize (and it's kind of my fault i'm mature. TTuTT)

but it made me really happy to know that she's on my side and she's going to stick with it. I may not have major depression, but she's definitely considering something mental, physical, or simply Seasonal Affective Disorder. Still, she's ready to take me to a doctor and I'm so glad she responded.

Thank you so much for asking!

oh thats awesome! well done!!!

pluzzle 01-22-2015 01:04 AM

dont qoute me please
 
hholy ahit my dad just beat me up this is like the third time hes done that i cant move my FUCKING ARM FUCKING HELL

pluzzle 01-22-2015 03:35 AM

i jus t got told to kill myself k lmao fucking watch me. soon


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