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There have been so many moments when I've just wanted to end it all. All of my insecurities are just reinforced by the people full of bullshit around me. I just feel worthless. I don't feel like I matter. No one relies on me to get through the day. I know my family would be broken, but I can't see another way out of this. I'm really trying to get out. I'm trying to stop cutting. I've been clean for four days, I think. But I have the knife under my bed, and I just want to pull it out, but I've been trying to turn to music instead. I hope that will help. I think it is, but I still have to keep dragging myself out of bed just so that I can be tackled by anxiety and depression, as well as dealing with classmates' bullshit. I can barely manage it.
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If you're seriously considering suicide, please get help. Your pride may be hurt, but you need to. I'm sorry, I'm horrible at comforting/giving advice, but I hope I'm enough. |
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Thank you for the thought. Really. |
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You're welcome. Anything for someone as amazing as you. I would most likely totally crumple in your situation. |
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I think it's safe to say there's at least two guys in your school who think you're their lost soul-mate. And if anyone hates you, honestly, COW POOP. You just described what is happening with me. |
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I'm sorry that you're going through the same. Love you, Esther. You mean so much to me. You're a much better writer than me, you're more intelligent than me, you have so much potential. You'll be fine, and things will get better. |
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