It's a cruel world, girl.
And we feel there are so many reasons to give up. And I am not going to say you shouldn't be saying this, because there are other people with worse problems, because honestly, I think living in a disconnected family is more worse than not having one. I'll say that the people who pull themselves through this crap the world offers and fight past the pain, tears, and brokenness are the strongest. I believe you're of that strongest.
Just hold on, okay? Promise me you will hold on.

Think of your exit. You walk out like a boss and leave them forever (preferably with a top hat and a cane. And a moustache and monocle)
Family doesn't mean much if you don't love them and vice versa. Your life can be wonderful when you leave them.
Just stay strong, Calla.

On another note, my parents are arguing again -_-
About money. And what? I overheard them about sending me to an international school. What?
whut
I'm confused.

Calla... I'm not saying what they are doing is right and I don't know the full story so I'm not even going to try and understand since I won't be able to, but they may not hate you. If you were gone, do you think they would be happy, really? No family can be. Even if they don't show it, I'll bet that they do love you... in some twisted way.

*hugs* Life will get better, you'll get the hell out of there, and you'll be surrounded by people who love you and support you and aren't assholes.
You deserve better. :/
You're strong enough to survive, I promise. *hugs*

I shouldn't have made that joke. It may have sounded a little cruel, but I didn't mean that way. Honestly, me and everyone around me could all tell that it was just a joke and not offensive. But you took it that way, and I'm sorry.
But you should have TOLD me that you were bothered by it. You didn't have to make it a big thing. You didn't have to tell everyone in math what a bitch I was. And you definitely didn't have to try to do it AGAIN, seventh period, when I was standing a foot away.
And here's where it gets really unfair I guess, because when I called you out on it, in front of everyone, when I called you out on making a mild joke your reason to talk bad about me to EVERYBODY, you just told me not to be so mean to you. I've been such a good friend to you. I've talked you through your breakups and I've been friends with you when no one else would, when the girls you were talking about me to were calling you a whore behind your back. I helped you with your homework and I cheered you up when you were in a bad mood. I've never said anything mean to you before this. Ever. And you just took that and threw it away.
And I'm so fucking ANGRY at you.

sometimes/often i'm not sure if i want to laugh like hell and have an emotional breakdown, or crawl into a corner and cry and hurt myself and have an emotional breakdown, or both.

*hugs* *gives candy* *hugs*


I know what it's like. Just attempt to make it through each day, one day at a time.

Of course, I haven't quite figured out the emotional breakdown part myself yet, so.

you know when your friends makes a heavily triggering joke
and all you want you to do is scream
but you grit your teeth
and smile
like its no big fucking deal
and then you feel awful for the rest of the week

*hugs* you okay?