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Angry
Spelling bees are stupid. First, I only get to go trick or treating for an hour because the spelling bee is a day after. Then I can't even write because I' supposed to study. And now the whole school is counting on me to win the state. They all say that its a gift. Maybe it is a gift, but it is also a burden. And jeez, I'm only eleven. Leave my child hood alone. Maybe I'm greedy, but why does it have to be me? Like, go away and bother someone else please. I never wanted it. I just want to be normal. Isn't it already bad enough that I'm considered weird? If I don't win the national bee, I'm gonna be so angry that I missed Halloween and wasted useful time. I probably won't even win, and if I do, the trophy can be crushed by a hammer. Me winning the spelling bee isn't going to help me other than school. I know school is important, and it could be my future, but I'M STILL ELEVEN. PLEASE. I WANT MY CHILDHOOD, MY WRITING TIME, AND MY CANDEH. And I absolutely hate being filmed. I look all emo and depressed in pictures.
I'd happily pass on this chance, if my parents would let me. |
Frightened and sad
The scary thing is that I don't feel like I have any emotion right now, that's what's making me frightened and sad. Listening to scary music and looking at gory pictures isn't helping...
@Lily09: I know how you feel. o_o I can't deal with the pressure, I expect way too much of myself, so I purposely strike out and go for third in every schoolwide spelling bee I go to. o_o |
Emotion: Awwww crapppppp
I'm getting the feeling I shouldn't have had coffee today. This doesn't always happen, but about every month, when I have a cup of coffee, I break out into crazy twitching and almost-seizuring movements... I don't know if it's a reaction to the caffeine, but it certainly doesn't happen EVERY time, so I don't even know. My upper arms are twitching and I'm getting this weird feeling in my legs and diaphragm, just like I did last time when I broke out into this huge seizure thing and had to run to my bed as fast as I could and just flipped out there for like twenty minutes until my mom came in and I had to get a better grip on my movements...
I just realized that I'm spamming up this thread... >_> Sorry... |
Dissapointment in Myself
When I get home, I have to take off all of my beads.
>.> TT_TT |
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confused by picture
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I'm not actually sure what the GIF is about. :P
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Fear. Also a bit of deranged optimism.
I'm scared of what's going to happen after I leave KidPub. Everyone has lives to move onto, but I don't. My family seems to think everything is just fine. And I'm stuck, stressed out by everything. I'm afraid of the future and change. I'm terrified of the world. I'm terrified of life in general.
The optimism is in some dark and distant corner, shrieking, "YEAH WOOT LET'S CHARGE AND HEADBUTT SLASH TACKLE LIFE YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!" or something like that. Whyyyyyyy my optimism always insane. ;_; |
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Because if you do, I'm pretty sure that at least ten people will also leave. Anyway... try literally hugging trees. And growing flowers. And doing ballet randomly on the lawn. And climbing trees. And wearing polka dot shirts and shorts. That adds activity to life. xD |
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