Originally Posted by Sandy
(Post 400365)
As for your questions about me: I'm not afraid of my dad for any bad reasons like that. O_o it's just that when he's not super happy (he usually is), he's super sketchy and there's no way of telling what will set him off. This morning my dog ran up to me and sprayed diarrhea everywhere and he got his metaphorical panties in a big twist just because I reminded him that it was still there and should probably be cleaned up, and that i wasnt doing it because I had t even had breakfast yet. O_o so I just didn't talk to him. (Sorry for errors, I'm on my phone) And then the other night I heard him screaming at the top if his lungs to my brother, but to be honest that ties into my hearing-things thing because I wasn't sure if I actually heard him. And I just hear stuff like senseless screaming and rushed mumbling, like through a wall, and although it startles me I just ignore it most of the time. Last night I was sitting in bed and heard this weird moan from the staircase, like a moan that someone would make if they had been shot and were dragging themselves back home through an alley, but no one was there to make the sound (trust me--I know that sounded a little weird but no one was there.) just something I've been wondering about and aware of, nothing that concerns me a lot. Although sometimes I wonder if it classifies me as insane. O_o I don't think it should.
As for you, I think it would help if you came to terms with the vengeful side of yourself you speak of. Like, I mean if you accept it and you live kind of in agreement, you may not have problems with it anymore (I dunno, it's what I did and it really helped. It's like quicksand--the more you fight it, the more it pulls you under. It's normal to be angry sometimes, just like it is to be happy. :P)
As for healing and recovering while this is still going on, I'd say it might help to no beat yourself up and just huddle under your own wing for a little while. With this thing with my parents, not knowing when it's going to happen again, I find that I've been doing it a lot--I take a rest from being my own worst enemy and just do everything I can to make myself feel better: imagine myself being hired into Dreamworks, sit with my characters (I barely do this anymore XD), just lay around and listen to music, heck, a couple hours ago I ate comfort food for the first time in years and it actually made me feel better. (Mmm... Bread with peanut butter and dark chocolate with maple butter on it 8^D) I don't know if you've been doing this, but I know that you and me both tend to beat ourselves up. :/ that's all I can really say, since I'm not sure what's going on (*hugs*)
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