| Lily09 |
02-04-2013 12:00 AM |
I hate myself for not being able to stand up for what I believe in when it comes to Litzy because she always gets annoyed. Wincest/Waycest, people can listen to any music they like, people can dress any way they want, people can like whatever they want. For me, it's "do whatever you want as long as you're not hurting someone" but for her it's "I'm accepting but I might just show disgust if you like something I dislike." ??? I don't know, I feel like she says that she's accepting of everything but actually isn't and it makes it hard for me to stand up to my beliefs because she gets annoyed. I'm fine with my parents yelling at me because I stand up for what I believe in, but if Litzy and I disagree on something, I usually just sink back and go all silent because I'm scared to lose her. I know she'll leave but I don't want her to leave now.
Also, I dislike talking to her about my shit, because whenever I tell her that I'm afraid to lose my friends because its happened before or that I prefer music over friends, she always tells me, "Stop thinking like that." but it's not easy as that and it sounds like she's annoyed so I don't tell her anything else. She checks my arms for cuts, which makes me uncomfortable also.
I just want a friend IRL who I'm okay with venting my problems to and someone IRL who will stay up all night with me and I can cry to and not be judged for my beliefs.
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