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The most confused and scared I've been in a long time
All my life I've been absolutely certain of my career. Art, without doubt. I always viewed my interest in art as a gift that God meant for me to use, I breathe art, I can't go two days without sitting at my tablet and sketching SOMETHING, ANYTHING, I can't go two hours without thinking about colour and techniques I could try.
The stupid career project messed everything up; I had to chose three of the careers I would be most likely to study for, so I chose art, writing (although this is slowly beginning to fade), and... forensic psychology. And now.... (*tormented expression*) I can't stop thinking about forensic psychology. Psychology has always been interesting to me, and to apply it to forensics... (*shudders*) I can't stop thinking about it, and every time I think about how much we've invested in a career in art at this point makes me more nervous, we're almost at a point where we can't turn back. Sometimes I doubt that a creative career would be able to even support me, and... Well, this feeling is kind of like the one a married woman would have after thirteen years of dedication to a loving husband (metaphorically, art and I) and then having making eye contact with a super hot guy across the room and feeling guilty for being unable to get him out of her mind for the following two weeks--right now I'm in denial that forensic psychology is even worth my time at all, and the fact that my parents can totally see me as a forensic psychologist is. Not. Helping. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9OlGsJP8FI...mio-scared.gif (*nothing is helped by the fact that I'm listening to Emilie Autumn's & ASP's song "Liar" which is screaming "liar" in my ears over and over*) |
It's good that you like something else other than art and writing. Who knows, you could write a book on forensic psychology and draw it. Or art could be a side project. Trust me, it's good to like something else. You shouldn't feel guilty about it.
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What about art psychology? It's a type where the subject draws a subject and you can understand them through their art. :P
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And it's not like Brooklyn is here all the time, either. She spends the whole school year with her mom and stepdad in southern new mexico. Which sucks, because I really love hanging out with her. Her stepmom, on the other hand, is annoying. Very sweet, very nice, but I... I hate her. How could she do this? Brooklyn should come home with us, I said. No, she said. I promise to bring Brooklyn.
But she never does come. Ever. She's a filthy liar, that's what she is. She never shows up to anything we arrange. Now she "says" she'll come at one thirty. Yeah, right. |
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I know how you feel. D: I hope you're alright...:/ |
Yeah, mostly. It's so very irritating. X^(
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....Can I ask you a quick little question? o_o Why did you change from "I" to "we" around the middle of that...? In all practicality, an artistic career probably wouldn't be enough to support you. The term "starving artist" isn't just an empty expression. BUT, if you were able to land a good project, and your work becomes popular (I don't see why it WOULDN'T, you're one of the best artists I know! ;D), you'd have more than enough income to keep yourself alive. HOWEVER, I doubt being a forensic psychologist would be very good for your mental health, Cass. <:^J I mean, if you think you could handle it (I certainly couldn't x_x), then I say you should go for any career choice that makes you happy. But that kind of a job is as stressful and gloomy as heck. At least, that's what I gather from watching Criminal Minds. But...I don't think I'm understanding you fully, Sandy. o_0 It's not like you've enrolled in some sort of school art program or anything. What's so bad about finding another potential career? (I'm sorry....this most likely iz NOT helping you....-_- I just don't have a clear enough picture of what's wrong in my mind. D: I'm sorry.) |
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What... oh! Like that manga "Picasso" or something? (I read about it in a magazine. :P) This kid draws stuff and... yeah. Quote:
Yeah, I guess, and if I went to an art school for college then I'm sure they would have some kind of employment plan set in place. And I could always apply for a crummy side job to make ends meet and stuff. And no, of course it wouldn't. 8D But... I don't know if you remember this or want to hear it but remember when I had a little spat with LJM on A/N while I was trying to help her sort through her "schizophrenia"? She accused me of being overly analytical, like I was just watching her like a puzzle instead of a person, like a math equation. I've been turning that over in my mind too... Does that mean something? I'm a lot different than I was back when I was having... difficulties... and I know that I'm stronger (like someone else on WB was saying, it's puberty) and won't flip out over seeing stuff, which I never really did in the first place. Being shown pictures of crime scenes, ripped-up bodies, talking to and watching people who are dangerous...? I don't think that overly scary, I've never been one to shy away from intimidating people. And plus, Criminal Minds most likely, no, most definitely blows things right out of proportion, because dealing with killers and "L, I AM JUSTICE!" is not necessarily what forensic psychologists do, sometimes they can be in legal things with custody battles and such, I would think, if one of the parents was abusive kind of thing and dealing with juvenile delinquency. I don't think forensic psychology would be any gloomier than funeral planning or putting makeup on dead bodies, which I don't find gloomy at all. I mean, it's just a dead body, not the apocalypse of all joy and happiness. |
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Wow, that probably did not help you. Sorry.
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