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Ditch the friends who hurt you. Trust me. It will all get better in the end. I'm always here for you, remember that. |
I may not be on KidPub since I am writing a brand new book and I will give updates about it every post I post.
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And how can you post something if you're not on KP? But goodbye. D': We'll miss you! |
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I think that sounds like a perfect way of classing KPers. :D I'm proud to be worth starting a conversation with. xD |
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Feel free to be as blunt as you want. |
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DAD. I FUCKING HATE YOU. You don't understand me, so PLEASE stop trying. I do not have an 'attitude.' You made me fucking CRY. And then you say I have an 'attitude' that needs to 'stop.' Well, fuck you. I don't know what you're talking about. You could have the decency to explain yourself, but you just say, 'Look at the problem. Tell me how to solve it' when I've been TRYING to tell you for the past five minutes. It's really not that hard to understand that I'm just a fucking WRECK right now and that I REALLY hate myself, but I don't know what else to do. Please just stop. The silent treatment, while not better than most things, is better than this.
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Day 332: They still do not know they have a traitor in their midst! ...just kidding. OR AM I. Me? Mature? Pff. OK. Will do! *le stretch over KP* I WILL COVER EVERYTHING. I've barely posted any stories, but that's because I had WB for AGES. *points* I blame Owen. Quote:
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GAH. I feel useless... |
Feelings get the best of you, but they really shouldn't. Not everything anyways, like the fact that I FEEL like every one of my friends on here are irritated with me in some way or another, or that I FEEL like i'm useless during language lessons because I always don't know the answer to my own questions but every one elses. I want my feelings to burn and die, the negative ones anyways. It's just hard. Hard to ignore them when I really want to turn to crying :( I realize there a lot of bigger problems than mine but it's a venting thread, ihave the freedom right?
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What category would I fall into? I've only been here for a few months, so yeah... |
Honestly.
Lily, don't leave. DON'T. EVER. LEAVE. *glare* |
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Dragon: I probably won't leave until LST leaves. |
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Enough time to persuade you to remain for eternity. |
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Well, by that time, DR probably will have tracked you down and attached your consciousness to the internet. |
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And me? *madladfddkl;af, ten character rule*
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XDD Everyone is interested.
lvhamsters: With Lily, me and Dragon. CACrools: With us as well, but a little less well known? Rockshadow: Probably around where AA is? |
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Oh, I read it wrong. My bad.
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Yeah, most people are in the third section.
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Darnet, I have so many feelings and I just can't all type them out! It's not that simple.
Overall I'm hurt and angry. I'm sick of being compared to those who are better than me. Everyone compares me to my best friend; even my family. I'm sick of it. I'm not like her. At all. In fact, we're pretty much complete opposite, and personally, I'm fine with that! I have my own talents and she has hers! My dad: "Oh, you know, A must've been practicing basketball all summer long, unlike you. No wonder she's so good. You shouldn't have quit the team." Well, guess what. I quit because of everyone comparing my skills to her, not to mention I just lost interest in basketball. I make my own choices, and you forcing me to make the team ain't gonna work. But that's not what this is about. It's about being compared. I'm also hurt because my best friend trusts complete strangers instead of me, her best friend. She's even said it plain out in front of me. Her best friends are even online, and it's not a very trustworthy website. But A, if you ever read this, just know you've hurt me more than you can think. Whenever I try to vent to you, you cast it away and immediately go to your own feelings without as much as saying a word about me. Now I don't want to be selfish, I just want you to listen to me once and a while. Everyone tells me I should tell you what I think, but they don't see I can't do that. We've been friends for over 11 years and I don't want to ruin that. And if I tell you anything that's in any way mean I'm scared your going to cut yourself. Your very sensitive, A. But your only sensitive to yourself, not of others. Such as right now, your being kind of a jerk. Your always trying to one up me. Like I told you I'm tired of comparison just now. And then you say, "Oh, no worries. My families all like WHY CANT YOU BE MORE LIKE L." You don't get it do you!? You're not helping me! you're making it worse!!! JUST STOP. You've made me cry in stress and hopelessness to many times now. Please stop . . . And P, I miss you so much. I hate how our parents both told us that we'd never see each other again and we couldn't talk over the internet, through mail, or over the phone. No contact whatsoever. I miss all of the awesome times we had, such as when we hid in the bucket of pillows at wal-mart and jumped out and scared people. That was awesome, and I know this just sounds like jibber jabber, but it's so important to me. P, I miss you so much and I love you like a sister. I really wish you were here . . . . And I know some people think that when someone leaves you get over it eventually, though it may take lots of time. But really, that pain is always there. I'm crying right now because I'm sick of it all. I want to get away. I wish Kidpub was an actual building, or a school or something. Everyone here is so nice and we're all friends. Yeah, we occasionally get in fights, but we all get over it. Not only that, but everyone is always there for you and supportive. And just that is an amazing thing to have in a friend. Thanks everyone <3 |
Gosh darnet, A! CURSING ME OUT ISNT HELPING.
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I don't like to be physically limited.
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Adijaiojfoiesjcisjfiokv0pvkeopvk wahdda Ya Wahnt?
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...........Did you just put me in the same category as LST and Sandy? O_O
Um, no. Just no. No. No no no no no, no no, no, no. XD I would love that to be true, but it's just...not. o_o Yes, at one point, my book got a somewhat unusual amount of attention. But that was a long time ago. Back when I posted a chapter nearly ever week. Back when I'd actually keep my promises of when I'd post. Back when I didn't get Writer's Block every other day. Back before my life got ten times harder, and stress nearly killed my writing ability. ._. Back when I actually got detailed feedback. Now, when I manage to post, only a few people comment. Hardly any of them have CC. I need CC. That's the only reason I've been able to grow as a writer. My readers have been driving me to write better since I joined this site. But now...there aren't many telling me what's acceptable, and what's not. I see people click on my posts. The most recent chapter I've posted has been clicked on 110 times as of this moment. And yet, only 3 people commented. Don't get me wrong--I value those three comments like each was made of solid gold. But isn't that a bid odd to you? 110 reads but only 3 comments? And none of them gave me any suggestions or told me where the weak spots are. And it's 100% impossible that that chapter was perfect and didn't need CC. I can't grow at a steady rate if I don't get more feedback. ;w; I can't make my editing deadline if I don't know WHAT to edit. I know there is a commenting famine sweeping through KidPub. No one is immune to it, no matter how long you've been on here, how good or "popular" your writing is, or how many people you know. I've never felt that I was "popular." I still can't believe that I have actual fans. I have readers, yes, and I love every one of them, but I can't bring myself to call them fans. I've never felt that my story was good enough for that. Good is relative. I tell my story to you guys, and some people like it. That makes me happier than you will ever know. You all honestly do not know how your nice comments have kept me sane, especially now that my personal life is more difficult that it used to be. And yet, I know there are people who do not like my book. And I'm perfectly fine with that. And I remember my classmates...how they teased me...saying I was living in a stupid, worthless, made-up world...saying that my characters were unrealistic and stupid...saying I was stupid for making them up. That hurt. I pretended to ignore them, but it still hurt. I've long since forgiven them for it, but it still hurts me to remember. At least I can always look back on those six kids...they sat with me at recess and listened to my story, back when it was nothing more than a crappy novella. I owe them so much. They gave me my first bits of CC. One of them was my first honest critic. i miss them, sometimes. I miss all of the readers who I haven't heard from in a while, actually. ... I know that was a long ramble. x_x I apologize for going off the deep end like that. My point is...I don't belong in that high category. I never did, not in my eyes. But, if that's how someone sees me, then, okay, I'm very flattered. But that's not where I am now. <:^J I doubt I'll ever get there again... |
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People put me in a category where I am also better than people like CT or Kiwara or Pokey...where the heck did that come from? :D Ash, this is going out of hand and people are placing us in different places... ... ... KP is changing. =__= |
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