If I could teleport, I would be hugging you so hard right now. Thank you.

I was talking to Heather today at school. She made everything click. We understand each other better. We were actually freely able to rant about all this shit that's going on in our lives. It was the most amazing feeling. Thank you Heather. 2 beads in the jar.

I feel like I should feel bad about eating lots of bread...

I kind of feel bad but at the same time I don't care. o_o Not after learning that the human body survives best on a high carb diet. (Up until this point I thought carbs were useless... o_o)

I do feel kind of bad about not running for about a month now... but my treadmill broke and it hasn't been fixed... I'm going a little bit crazy without running. XD

OUAT gifs... <3

…they were supposed to be Doctor Who GIFs D:

Was that the quote from last Christmas? The Widow the Doctor and the Wardrobe or something.

Can't you just go and run outsi--OH WAIT it's probably freezing where you are. >_< Derp. XD

Wow, this year has gone fast.

But they aren't because it's Henry and Emma ;_;

8D Doctor Who + OUAT = Awesome.

;___;
I thought maybe it was the mom and her son from the DW Christmas special…
Eff yeah it has. /cries
And, yeah, it was from The Doctor, The Widow, and the Wardrobe.

The other day, I was, like, "lol derp Imma start running outside barefoot on a gravel road to wake myself up each morning! :D"
And then on Monday morning I was like, "No bleeping way I'm going back to sleep it's probably too cold anyways."

Rant time. -.-
 

Okay, so I've pretty much told all of KidPub about KYA. XDDD If you don't know, you pretty much make up a bill idea, if it's good enough and your teacher picks it, you make a poster and then go present it at KYA. WELL, my group's bill got chosen, so it was me, my friend D, and my kinda friend K. K has been known to fake sick and stay home, but I didn't think she'd do it to US. So me and D go get ready to make our poster, and we notice K isn't there. We just shrug it off and get started. The next day, K wasn't there either. More days passed and K was never there to help us make our poster. We both knew she was faking because my friend Katie caught her at a basktball game last night, so I know she wasn't sick. So me and D finished the poster today, got everything typed up, but we didn't put K's name on it because she did NOTHING. She never came to help. She came to school last period yesterday, and guess who didn't show up to school today? K.

I bet twenty bucks she shows up to school tomorrow. -.-

Aww, Autumn, you know I'll always be here for you. You're one of my best friends here.

Caleigh! I'm sorry, but you know, it's okay that you didn't put her name on it. If she throws a hissy fit, have a well written speech planned (because she may, and you don't want to be going "um, well, um, you see, um, um,umumumumumumum), and explain to her that she didn't help, so you didn't put her name on it. Tell us how it goes...

We do. It was hard because I've felt like ever since the beginning of the year, our friendship has just been drifting along, not really doing anything bad but not really being productive and good either. It was so awesome to rant to you, Soph. :') You're welcome, and thank YOU. Three more to go and I bring candy!

I have three beads. I have a necklace now. All off if I cut, one on if I don't.

I totally get you. I mean, my mom is exactly, and I mean EXACTLY like that. She doesn't understand why I write, she doesn't understand why I like certain people, just... everything. We've had a tough relationship. (Imagine having your mom telling you that she only likes you because you're her kid.) But, really, deep down I know that she loves me. She... just doesn't really know how to show it as well as other people.

You are meant to do something great. I know it. :D We aren't put on this Earth just because God got bored and decided to make random people and to make their lives terrible. I'm sure that you're going to become hugely successful and amazing and great.... because you already are!!! :D

If you think about it, no one really knows anyone.

Answer's in the question. You're alive to LIVE. And I know, I know, corny and all that, but it's true. And you feel helpless a lot. You drag yourself down and you dwell on all your insecurities and mistakes and you feel like you can't live because there's no point, because you can't even live to LIVE. So start living. Do the things that you like and don't give a fuck whether people think you're weird or not. And if you can't do the big things, well, start small. Appreciate the tiniest little gestures in your life that show you someone CARES. And make lists of stuff you like, too. Do what works for YOU, because this is YOUR life and you're going to choose how to live it, no matter how much others try to control you.
Awesomesauce, hon, awesomesauce. Two more beads to go! :')

Thanks guys, I just feel... like no one cares. Even though you guys do. I've been having a rough time lately.

*pats on the back*

It's okay... I think a lot of people are having hard times... :/

You're welcome. And it's okay. Sometimes I feel shitty even though all my friends are like "SUPPORTTTTTT SUPPORT SUPPORT SUPORRRRRRT" and it sucks. :3

I know exactly how you feel.

I don't think I'll make a mark on this world, though... why should I try?

So I finished The Fault in Our Stars.
;_; Great book. Hazel and I have a lot in common.

I know I shouldn't, I want to add another bead to my necklace, but I have the urge right now. My wrist is just itching, and I'm holding my swiss army knife near it. What can I do? I want to stop, but my wrist is itching.

No, honey, don't. Remember the candy? You're SO CLOSE. And did you read my post about drawing a butterfly and naming it Wyatt? Because there is no way in hell you can harm that adorable face.
...yeah, same.
Because you won't know UNLESS you try. To quote Elphaba, "Some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know!" and "Everyone deserves a chance to fly!" Yeah... sorry for using Wicked quotes, but, yanno. Everyone has a chance to make an impact, even you. And if you don't achieve worldwide recognition or national recognition... oh well. It's better to be reachable to a few people than distant to a LOT, if you see what I'm saying.

Yes. I made it. I actually made it. Two more beads. I got the urge, I resisted. I didn't know if I could, but I did.

This sounds strange, but...I wish I had a more...noticeable talent. I'm a very good writer, and maybe someone might say, "The way she writes it sounds classy," or something like that. But, I wish I could show people that. I wish I could sing, or be skilled at sports, and people could know I had talent.

That sounds conceited...I just hate being bad at things, and I'll play basketball in front of people, and sing for a play, and I hate failure.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I wish I had a talent too, like drawing or some crap. But I don't... and it makes me jealous.

Absolutely the story of me life. My biggest talent is my entire package, I guess, but I sometimes wish I was the best at SOMETHING, anything. I really suck at very little, I'm just never the best in anything.

Thank god. Did you name one Wyatt? :')

The small one on my hand, if you saw the pictures. I think I might make it through. This is the farthest that I've got.

I really hate myself and I don't know what to do. I just lied to my friend to keep our friendship and because I'm terrified of being mean to anyone; terrified of ruining a friendship. My best friend told him I was appearing offline to him because I really was because I was so annoyed with him, so I lied and told him I wasn't appearing offline and then he said "remind me to never believe her again," and now I'm scared. I know he's probably going to tell her what I said and I really don't want any of our friendships to be ruined. I don't know what to do..... I guess I should've just told him the truth.

Oh, thank GOD, honey. I'm so proud of you. ^_^

Thanks. :')

e_e ASDFGHJKL I HATE WEDNESDAYS SO MUCH.

*grabs a chair* *throws it through a window* *grabs an axe and chops a table in half* *throws random papers and office supplies everywhere* *beats a watermelon with a meat tenderizer* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*curls up with a pillow in the corner of the room* ;w; I hate Wednesdays. So much. December...my gosh, you're finally here. All I have to do is survive until the 26th, and it will be all downhill from there. By February (I hope), my life will be back to normal.....oh, gosh, I just want to sink into a coma and stay like that until this is all over... ;____; *whimpers like a hurt puppy* *rocks back and forth manically*

You're welcome. Stay strong. ^_^

I hate Wednesday's too ;~;
What happened? =O

If you don't try you'll never fail, but you'll never succeed, either. Stop sulking and GET UP RIGHT NOW. I've noticed you don't post anymore GIFS...

I know internet tests are unreliable but whatever
 

Test for schizotypy: (I bolded the results that seemed strange to me)

Ideas of reference: 5.5 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Excessive social anxiety: 5.5 out of 8 (unsure: 1)
Odd beliefs or magical thinking: 3.5 out of 7 (unsure: 1)
Unusual perceptual experiences: 6.5 out of 9 (unsure: 1)
Odd or eccentric behavior: 6 out of 7 (unsure: 0)
No close friends: 7.5 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Odd speech : 9 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Constricted affect: 3.5 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Suspiciousness: 8 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Total SPQ-A: 55 out of 74

Test for various:

Paranoid 82% Average: 50%
Schizoid 62% Average: 40%
Schizotypal 82% Average: 56%
Antisocial 46% Average: 46%
Borderline 70% Average: 45%
Histrionic 18% Average: 35%
Narcissistic 18% Average: 40%
Avoidant 58% Average: 48%
Dependent 18% Average: 44%
OCD 74% Average: 45%

Ever since Ash posted that thing about personality types (I am an INTP, by the way, I typed the wrong one), it got my mind firing back on what I was concerned with a couple months ago...
My friend is always poking fun at me because I'm "strange" with a strange sense of humour, extremist behaviour, extremist thinking patterns, strange speaking patterns, strange thought patterns... strange a lot of things. But anyways, she likes to poke fun at me, asking me periodically if I'm "schizophrenic." I laugh, but every time she does it reminds me of the weird thing that happened a while ago... (I posted a rant about this at the time, but what the heck, why not...)
I was really moody, laid down on my bed, and suddenly felt this hand pressing down on me. For some reason, I knew it was my dad (... still confused as to how I deduced that my dad was randomly pressing his hand on my ribcage...?) even though no one was there. I legit was like, "Oh, chill, it's just my dad," in my head and just stayed there like :^I. The pressure of the nonexistent hand increased, and as soon as I started to wonder exactly what the hand was trying to accomplish, these three very young, girly voices started to swirl around in my head, and there was an older man behind them. The same way I knew the hand was my dad, these images of the people who owned the voices flooded into my head--there were three girls, triplets, each with blonde hair done up with that poofy ball on the top of their head and wavy everywhere else, chubby, wearing blue dresses and with no eyes (this, for some reason, didn't disturb me at all). In fact they had these streaks of black coming from their eyes, kind of like this but with black veins running from their eyes:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2322/...1b66d8e6e0.jpg
... and although there was an older man "behind" them, he didn't sound like a creepy pedo or anything malevolent, he reminded me a lot of Coraline's dad because he sounded so relaxed and laid-back. The girls were watching me laying on my bed and they began to laugh at me, and I felt so humiliated. As they laughed, they would each take turns to say two words to me, each one a combination of the first word being three syllables and the second being one syllable, and it was crazy, how difficult they were to remember; they did this for at least twelve word combinations yet the only one I remember is "dangerous times". Even the older guy was talking to me, but I don't remember what he said, only his tone, which was warm and silky, caught somewhere between comforting me and mocking me. All the voices and laughter began to mesh into one and I don't remember how exactly I came out of it... but I remember afterwards, going outside and seeing this Great Dane in my neighbour's yard, standing there, watching me. I stared at it for a really long time--it didn't move. Finally I was like, "... K" and just kept going, but there are no Great Danes in my neighbourhood, and if my neighbours had seen any kind of dog on their lawn they would have flipped out...
For the next couple weeks, I kept hearing laughter in my room and heard my name being called through my computer by this really sketchy voice... it was male, late thirties, sounding hoarse, like a smoker/hobo... :I

I want an explanation for this... even though it's been about a quartre of a year, the fact that I don't know what that was haunts me.....
And lately I've been having these really weird thoughts. I'm pretty sure it's just in my head (no pun intended) but they're these weird, god-like thoughts, and I'm scared that I'm having those "delusions of grandeur" that I read about. I know I am not a narcissist, I have no self love whatsoever, in fact, my self esteem is, as it is for most people, something I really want to work on... so how am I thinking these things?
I'm very confused...
This isn't a cry for help. I'm fairly certain that I've overcome my bout of depression, and I suppose that I'm trying to either explain something strange I've noticed about myself throughout my life or attempt some sort of self-validation. I'm just looking for answers... I have never, not once, seen myself as eccentric... unless I get a glimpse at a "normal" person's life (and by normal, I mean the "average" life... don't say that "everyone is different and weird in their own way" because that is not what I mean by this) and begin to come to grips with just how distant I am from normalcy. I don't really have a problem with this... I have a problem with people who have a problem with it. I have a very strange schedule--my eating habits are absolutely retarded, I must admit, as is my insane intake of caffeine *approximately eight cups in a day* and my need to follow these predetermined schedules that I've formulated for myself. I have never thought of myself as insane or eccentric or different from the rest of the people I know... apparently this is a form of denial?

Weird...
(Hopefully I don't get judged for this.)