Originally Posted by nngo (Post 283153)

You should really try talking to your mom.. see how that works. And as for the awkwardness, don't beat yourself up over it. We're all awkward one way or another, and when you're in public school, I'm pretty sure you won't be Forever Alone. It's hard to even be alone in public school, as much as you might want it. ;)

Originally Posted by evyn (Post 283179)

Talk to your mom, but don't bother with telling her that you're gay. I promise she wants to hear the truth from you.
I really hope you feel better soon. :)

Originally Posted by MandM (Post 283180)

YOU?! The great KP legend, the I-lost-the-Gamer, the epykal-tastic LST, Forever Alone?! I refuse to believe it! I refuse! Well, put it this way, your life's whatever you make of it and it'll only end up Forever Alone if you let it. I don't truly believe you, YOU the epyk-tastical ILTGamer LST legend that I know, will be Forever Alone as an adult. Besides, lone wolves roam, so they say. I'm an isolated homeschooler me-self, so I totally know what you mean. But, take every chance and work it, you'll make friends! Problem with that is, though, that I've been getting SICK and TIRED of taking the first step in making friends, me having to be the "New Girl" every few years, ME having to sit around and watch the cliques, ME having to WAIT for someone to respond. It gets annoying, but being friendly and keeping occupied with friends/books/KP helps. Imma lone wolf, you be lone wolf, we homeschoolers are like that, right? :) And there's that smiley we hate so much. XD

Originally Posted by chelseki3 (Post 283185)

http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

I'm going to be attending high school in four months. P_P I'm going to be Forever Alone as well.
You're amazing LST, I'm sure you'll make some friends AS. SOON. AS. YOU. STEP. INTO. THAT. PUBLIC. SCHOOL. BUILDING.

*reads back my post* *facepalm*

Originally Posted by MBelle (Post 283756)

Go To The Prom!

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283777)

:^I Please don't spam on this thread. If it's a random thread with no real purpose other than to amuse people, feel free, but not the forum games with rules or the serious threads.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283722)

@Both: Uh… *Brain blank* About the shyness, Forever Aloneness, or what…? xD

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 284001)

*hugs Chelsea*
*squeezes Chelsea*
Tell your mum. It's hard, but DO IT.

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 283229)

Woah, epic dude. O.O

Originally Posted by chelseki3 (Post 284091)

NUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Never will I tell my mom--I'm scared she'll get mad at me. I'd rather tell my auntie even though she makes my self-esteem drop rock-bottom. :cool: The voices don't make anything better. :^I

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 284504)

Yes, don't. I've learned that from a little 'incident' with her today. They just never listen.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)

I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)

Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)

Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 285429)

Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this, but....in your case...public school might be good for you. You'll have to avoid the downsides--rude kids, slow people (it's not their fault, but it can be annoying to have to wait all the time), druggies (depending on the school area), gossips, and people who curse every other sentence--but it can be a good experience. Teachers, friends, art/music class, getting feedback on your assignments...it's all really fun while it lasts. :D And you get to be away from your house for a bit--staying at home too long can give you cabin fever, and that's certainly not healthy. 0_0 From what you've said, you seem to have been dealing with cabin fever for a looooong time.

I've only had, like...two true friends in my entire life that were my age. And the others all abandoned me. -_- So I kind of know how you feel on that subject. I find that it helps to try to stay positive. Start with small things--like, "oh, it's sunny/cloudy outside, yay", and "mmm, I love apples, I'm glad I can eat one," and just work your way up from there to the big things like "I'm glad I have a mom/dad/sibling, he/she's so [insert good quality here]" and whatnot. ^_^

"How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…?"
O_0 I've been working on that for years, my friend. XD You are so not alone on that one. I started out by smiling and saying "have a nice day" to practically everyone I bumped into. Guy at the checkout counter at Fry's? "Have a nice day!" Crossing guard outside of school? "Have a nice day!" Random chick who helps me pick up my library books when I check out too many and trip and scatter them all over the floor? "Thanks, I'm such a clutz. Have a nice day!" ^_^ You'd be surprised how genuinely happy it makes people when you say that. A lot of people in this world feel ignored--and showing the slightest amount of interest makes them feel good. In turn, seeing them happy can give you courage. From there, I just start striking up random little conversations with people. They don't have to mean anything. Sometimes they get into the conversation, sometimes they don't. Just start by commenting on something. "Man, I hate this weather. It's so hot out. Did you know that [insert random SHORT fact about the heat here]." "Did you hear about [insert recent occurrence that was on the news]?" Maybe joke about something. Anything to get them talking. If you feel awkward about it, remind yourself: (1) THIS IS A PROVEN FACT: 99% of people are so concerned about how THEY look and how THEY come across to people, they honestly don't notice how other people look for more than a couple seconds. Then they forget. (2) If the conversation doesn't last long, they won't dwell on what you looked like or what you said. They'll get lost in their own lives and stop thinking about it. It's not that they don't like you--it's like...passing a bunch of trees in a forest. You don't count how many there are and carry that number around with you all day. Your mind simply does not require that info. ANYWAY, after you get past that, just try to branch out a little. :3 Try to befriend people at school who seem to be all by themselves. There are always people at school who just get ignored. It doesn't mean they're crazy or creepy; they just don't fit in. Try to draw them out--ask them what they like, and what they don't like. Rock? Rap? The Legend of Korra? Reading? A certain movie? Ask them about THEM. Like I said, people like it when you show interest in them, since a lot of people feel like no one cares. Ask them if they have any pets, siblings, or hobbies. ^_^ O_O Sorry that was so long....XD

I don't suggest that you do that....o_e Testing your parents by telling them something false can have REALLY BAD results. (Trust me--I've tried stuff like that.)

Don't feel bad for venting two times within a week, Tredom.... <:^J It's healthy to vent. Venting keeps us from exploding/imploding emotionally.

I'm sorry this took me so long to write....x_x I feel terrible about it.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 285454)

I think for the most part I wouldn't have much trouble with rude people, so long as it's not, like… physical bullying. >_> Unless it was something I already don't like about myself/am afraid of, I think I might just barely notice what they say. And I've heard someone's heard the school is strict, so hopefully druggies won't be a problem…
While it lasts? I confused. >_>
Heck yeah I do. XP Families get really annoying. :P

You're a freaking epik person and friend, even if they didn't realise it or care enough. :3 It's kind of hard to be positive… Like, I can feel myself emotionally shying away from it/sort of ignoring it… It happens with things that should upset me, too. >_> I can manage it about knowing you guys, most of the time, but for other things I just kind of… shift away from the thoughts.

I can't smile when my family is around… they always joke about it. <_< I think I should try that. Yeah, I think I've read that, that most people pay more attention to worrying about how they look… I'll try to remember that.
I think I'd fit in better with the people who don't fit in, than the people that do… *Is afraid that I'll end up a social outcast with no friends*
I love it when I reply to a really long, awesome thing with a few sentences. XP *Head desk* Thanks. ^^

Yeah… I'm too paranoid to try.

Other people have worse problems and don't rant… :^I

Don't feel bad about it at all! You didn't take very long, and it's an awesome reply. And, again, you never had to reply in the first place.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 285463)

While it lasts....I meant that in a sense of changing teachers as the years go by, sorry I didn't explain. *facepalm* Some teachers will give you in-depth praise/help on your reports and tests, and some just give you a grade and move on. Everything in school is temporary to a degree--don't even forget that. Your classmates, your teachers, the classrooms, the assignments...people move, get fired, quit, and you change grades. The trick to surviving school is being able to adapt. ^_^ O_o And I found the show Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide REALLY REALLY helpful, just so you know. You might want to watch it.

I know, being positive it's hard...but once you start, it's an easy habit to keep. Just keep tallying up the good stuff. You don't have to be happy about it--just remind yourself of the good things. :3 Raining outside? It prevents the forests from drying out and starting fires. It keeps the plants alive, which give us oxygen. Rain keeps the dust down. Just keep going on and on until you can't think of anything else good. The trick is distracting your mind from the bad stuff--it doesn't matter if the positive stuff makes your happy, it just keeps the bad stuff out.

O_O Some of the nicest people you'll ever meet are social outcasts. XD I've been the "leader" of three different bands of outcasts. You'd be how surprised how loyal lonely people can be. And if it takes a while for them to adjust to having someone around, don't feel bad. Having a friend might be new to them. They probably feel more self-conscious than you do. BESIDES, you're an overall awesome person, so I'm sure you'll make lots of friends. ^_^ O_o And if anyone picks on you, they're probably just jealous.

Oh, come on, Tredom....<:^J just try it. It doesn't hurt to try. I know you can do it.

O_0 SO? That's their problem, you can't control what they do. Keeping stuff bottled up just makes things worse. <:^J You need to get stuff out into the open.

And yes I did! 0_0 I'm your friend, aren't I? ^_^

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 285429)

I don't suggest that you do that....o_e Testing your parents by telling them something false can have REALLY BAD results. (Trust me--I've tried stuff like that.)

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 285464)

Ohhhh… Don't worry about it. :P *Hopes for the first kind of teachers* Changes tend to scare me, but I think I adjust at least halfway well… *Makes a mental note to watch Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide*

Okay… Just thinking of the good things instead of trying to make myself feel happy about them sounds easier. :P (I like the rain… XD)

I was thinking something like that, since they'd be less likely to abandon you and stuff… My thoughts aren't the most organised at one in the morning, though. XD Not sure how much I'd be surprised by that, as I think I'm the same. :P They might think I act stupid, or something along those lines…


That's what I meant, not the randomly starting conversations thing. XD

*Shrugs* :^/

Yes you did to take a while to reply? Noooo, it was only like a day. :P Yeah. I consider you one of my best friends. :^D

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 285454)

I think for the most part I wouldn't have much trouble with rude people, so long as it's not, like… physical bullying. >_> Unless it was something I already don't like about myself/am afraid of, I think I might just barely notice what they say. And I've heard someone's heard the school is strict, so hopefully druggies won't be a problem…
While it lasts? I confused. >_>
Heck yeah I do. XP Families get really annoying. :P

You're a freaking epik person and friend, even if they didn't realise it or care enough. :3 It's kind of hard to be positive… Like, I can feel myself emotionally shying away from it/sort of ignoring it… It happens with things that should upset me, too. >_> I can manage it about knowing you guys, most of the time, but for other things I just kind of… shift away from the thoughts.

I can't smile when my family is around… they always joke about it. <_< I think I should try that. Yeah, I think I've read that, that most people pay more attention to worrying about how they look… I'll try to remember that.
I think I'd fit in better with the people who don't fit in, than the people that do… *Is afraid that I'll end up a social outcast with no friends*
I love it when I reply to a really long, awesome thing with a few sentences. XP *Head desk* Thanks. ^^

Yeah… I'm too paranoid to try.

Other people have worse problems and don't rant… :^I

Don't feel bad about it at all! You didn't take very long, and it's an awesome reply. And, again, you never had to reply in the first place.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 285467)

You get used to it, trust me. ^_^ Just take things in stride and try not to worry. XD The show is funny yet REALLY helpful.

XD I like the rain, and I knew you liked it, too. I was just giving an example.

O_0 I think they'd be entertained and uplifted at the way you act. :D

Yes I took a while to reply, and yes I HAD to reply. ^_^ O_O ....Really? D'aw! Thanks...I consider you one of my best friends on here, too. :3

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 285469)

I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP D:
God, I can still remember how awkward it was on the first day of school. Some chatty people made friends soon, and I made friends with a girl called Megan who was sitting beside me. From all the friends I once had and still have, I think there was only one whom I asked, "Can I play with you?"
LST, you're awesome. I can't really imagine you as a popular person, so maybe you'll make awesome friends who don't talk about...stuff that interest normal teenagers. By normal teenagers I mean those who belong into the same type who laugh when people say an expletive (Too bad my running training is half full of them...no wonder I only have a friend there). I can't really find a word for those people. By awesome, I mean people like people on KidPub...
I'm not exactly antisocial, but I find it really hard to make friends. I can chat with people normally without getting scared like I did when I was smaller, but not exactly make friends, because lots of people find me hateful.

Originally Posted by Timber (Post 285663)

I have tons of things on my mind right now. It seems like every free minute alone I'm crying nowadays...

I hate my hair. I hate my face. I hate my clothes. I hate my body. I'm not overweight or anything, but all my friends are super skinny so it makes me feel that way. For instance I went shopping with my friends and we wanted to get matching off the shoulder tops. We each got a medium.

When I wear my medium, it's only a little loose, mostly tight, and only goes down to my rib cage. When my friends wear it, it's so baggy and actually hangs off their shoulder like it should.

I'm embarrased to wear it. It's sitting in the back of my closet right now; I've only worn it once because they made me. My mom tells me I'm beautiful and I have gorgeous eyelashes...I still feel like crap.

Yeah. Sorry for ranting. :( My eyes are watering as I write this.