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how...childish my username sounded until I realized that it was childish, but that was right after I submitted it :O I agree with you. I'm paranoid with anything old-age-skin related. |
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MUAHAHAHAHA But poor you! Abandoned there... DX |
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Bullying wasn't that bad of a problem. We're mostly just teasers. |
It's not even 10:00 A.M. and today is ALREADY the strangest day I've had in 2013 so far.
o____o |
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I.
Feel. Like. Shit. all the symptoms of my sickness/fever are back EXCEPT my fever so i couldn't skip school today but WEEKEND YAY I MUST SLEEP SLEEP IS GOOD also my throat tastes funny from coughing so much and i'm coughing so hard that my stomach clenches every time i better have some hot abs by the time i'm over this, that's all i'm saying... |
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it's actually worse now the coughing's really bad i think i mgiht throw up
asd;hs;gdlhdg |
i actually think i am happy because this is finally happening and just i dunno i just feel awesome
sfdagfsadasdhsdfhasdsa;d;dssdsa ;A; |
I'm not going to cry. I'm not.
Everything seems to be going wrong...my friends are leaving me and so is my family. I'm too stupid to understand this... any of this. for years writing has been my only staple but now I know it to be what it is, a basic talent because of a bookworm childhood and a mind not satisfied with real life, and a years I spent curled into a land where written words were my only solace and the pathetic fantasy that perhaps I could create one of my own, but all I can do is get good grades in English, and soon everyone will catch up with me and the head start I have have had will mean nothing...nothing is all it has ever meant. so now...that is all that i mean, too, nothing. which i should have always known. i'm tired of all this fleeting contact with people...it feels as though im rushing down a train track grasping at people's hands through windows but they won't hold on, and all I have is an impenetrable surface to get to the other side but I CAN'T do it and I don't know how much more I can take before the surface covers me up forever and suffocates me, and my insides are carved out and I just feel empty and all i want is for somebody to light me up but I am simultaneously both rubber and glue and my circuits must be broken because NOTHING is working, i am dull and broken or perhaps i am functioning perfectly and this is all that I am a good for. it isn't anybody's fault, that's the worst part, i seem to break down spontaneously and completely on my own, and there is nothing left to...try. and i think i'm suffocating and i'm so scared of that happening and i don't understand this anymore... |
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*feels unhelpful* |
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We won't leave you. *hugs* No no no no no. You are/were one of the best writers on KidPub; you're an amazing writer. Even a few years ago, it was pretty good. And, I dunno if it means much, but even just in grammar you're better at writing than quite a few people I've seen in high school. You'll find someone to make you light up on the inside (you're already bright/awesome enough to all of us). If I can find someone like that, so can you. I know how shitty and hopeless that feels, but, believe me, it can get better. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here too… |
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I know it's a big problem, we've had several talks about it at school. Quote:
And I actually helped her with the entrance exam...I'm wondering whether I should've done it or not. And she has to skip a grade because Hong Kong's schooling system is by years, not ages. Quote:
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Oh God.
What. Is. Going. On?!?!?!?! Somebody posted that I was emo on Instagram, and also posted my last name. Ummm hello?????? Web safety? And how the h*ll is your business whether I'm emo or not? Seriously? POSTING IN ON FRAKING IG?!?!? I Will Now Virtually Claw At You Until You Bleed |
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She's in cognition. I dunno who she is...but I know she's in my school. Her face is familiar. /le stalked her and saw 12 pics of her doing "duck lips"/ Ew. Hate those. |
Is it possible to be in a state where you feel no emotion at all? Just a thought...
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I was getting quite used to that. ^_^ |
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/le wierd moment/ ^__^ Much better |
OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD
I am so effing happy. Like, my happiness cannot be measured right now. I HAVE BECOME ONE WITH THE DAO! I HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANA! I AM ONE WITH BRAHMAN! Holy shit. I could get used to this feeling. BEST. DANCE. EVER. So, first, the DJ played a song dedicated to my OTP (Finny and Gene from A Separate Peace), then my best friend finally worked up the courage to ask her long-time crush to dance, which led to a few more dances and then him asking her out, I screamed Locked out of Heaven at the top of my lungs with my friends, I danced with some people, AND THEN A BOY ASKED ME TO DANCE. I GOT ASKED TO DANCE. BY A BOY. I don't know him very well, because we only have one class together, but IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE HE'S AWESOME AND HE ASKED ME. HE. ASKED. ME. SOMEONE LIKES ME ENOUGH TO ASK ME TO FREAKING DANCE. Sucks crap for him if he likes me because I don't feel romantic attraction. |
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This GIF perfectly expresses my feelings right now. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...huhmo1_500.gif |
you Bitch.
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Okay, so I'm hiding in my room while my mom and my siblings hang out with friends.
And then I wonder, why the f*ck don't I have any friends? I'm smart, I'm kind of pretty, I'm a good singer, a good writer, a good artist, and I've got a really great sense of humor. But I kind of hate people. So why on earth should I give a sh*t? I'm going to go outside, listen to Dakota Motor Company, make myself an iced tea popsicle. ... |
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and it's obvs because you haven't met enough awesome people yet and had a chance to get to know them. |
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I don't necessarily hate all people. People hate me, though. |
the weekend makes me so happy I can't even comprehend my own happiness. :'D
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i'm trying and the people who should get that don't and the people who shouldn't get that do and i just--
i hate everything everything everything and nothing at all because i blame myself because i'm horrible and i can't-- i can't do this. i don't know what's wrong-- no. i do know. i just refuse to accept it. funny, the only thing i want is acceptance. i can't fucking do this. where has everyone gone? i'm terrified and relieved because-- this is how bad it is: i'm looking forward to high school. i won't know anyone. no one will know me. and i'll keep it that way. i'm done being close to people. it just hurts them or me or both of us and it's never right and it's sometimes wrong and it's just painful and i don't like it-- people. what the fuck are people? what the fuck are we? and why--what--how--have we changed? what is this world and why do people care so damn much? if people didn't care so much then it would be a helluva lot easier. i could die and no one would care and that is GOOD because-- i can't fucking DO THIS. everyone's trying trying trying we're trying too hard and we're trying too little and i don't understand why the world isn't utopia and i don't understand why the world isn't perfect and i don't understand why people expect me to be perfect and i don't understand why people try to unearth my secrets and expect me to be perfect and have no secrets at the same time-- i don't understand. no one understands. it's okay because it's not fucking okay. it's beautiful because it's figurative not literal it's an idea a fleeting memory a glimpse what the fuck is it? it's nothing. it shouldn't matter. it does matter. it matters because it matters because it matters because it matters because people CARE why do people care? why do i care? why do i care? why do i care? why do i care? why does it hurt it hurts because i care but WHY DO I CARE-- why? and what--what really matters in this world? nothing. it's nothing. it's okay. it's fine. i'm fine. nothing's fine. i don't know. i don't understand. i don't UNDERSTAND-COMPREHEND-GET IT-WHAT IS IT-- who the fuck knows? no one. no one knows. no one knows anything because we all know everything because we know nothing at all because--because--because-- reasonsreasonsreasonsblameblameblameblameblameblam etheothers- blame the friends blame the enemies blame yourself blame anyone but you you are perfect you are nothing you are okay i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. i don't know. i'm trying. we're all trying. but-- i don't know. |
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I accept you and I love you. Knowing you hasn't hurt me, it's just been pretty awesome. "You can't protect yourself from sadness without also protecting yourself from happiness." Not getting close to anyone won't help. and we would care a fucking lot if you died. and it's good that we care. |
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I just... I'm sorry. I'm emotional. I'm--fuck, I'm crying. Okay. Okay. I'm just--I need to breathe. Breathe. Fuck. Okay, I'm sorry. (wipesawaytearsbecausemomiscomingovertoseewhatswro ngshedoesntknowsheshouldntknow) thank you. |
I've said this before: Somewhere Over the Rainbow is one of the saddest songs I've ever heard.
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Wtf.
Wtfwtfwtfwtf. You can't just ignore me for half a year and expect to talk with me like nothing freaking happened. No. Just no. You used to be my best friend and then you left. You ignored me. And then you're all HIII like nothing happened! NO. |
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Haha. And don't think I'm gonna answer when you ask more personal questions. Jeez. |
*thumbs up for Lvhamsters*
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