Please stop, Isaac. I know it's difficult and not entirely in your control but stopping isn't going to get easier. Don't hate awesome. Don't hate amazing. Don't hate epyk. And you are all of these things. You don't deserve to die. You are a good person. At least, as far as anyone on here has experienced. And I'm sure people IRL know you're a good person, too.

Don't keep telling me that the word doesn't revolve around me. I think I know that. But you know what? I think everyone wishes it did sometimes. I wish people would stop judging me. But that's the last time, because guess what? I am actually very opinionated, and a lot of people know that about me, so that's it. You have no say in my life any more. I am my own person. Hmph.

Things have been pondering in my head... people are not... kids on here anymore. ;_; I feel bad that all I come to on this website is plain old ranting and venting and ranting and IT IS ON THE FREAKING NSP WHERE FREAKING STORIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE so why don't we be KIDS for once? ...kids...

I'm sorry girl. I feel like that sometimes.
D:
I feel people judge me a lot. Especially since I have moved to another country. I'm a redhead, light skinned, freckles, American accent. I stand out! Often, I get looks. But who cares? If they want to judge, they well get what they want but they sadly won't get to understand the real me.
That's how it is. If they judge, let them. They are missing out while their imagination runs.

i do not mind at all
that is wonderful xD
I don't deserve to stop.
I don't feel at all amazing, awesome, epyk, or like a good person.
My family certainly doesn't think so.

isaac, i just really wish i knew how to phrase exactly what i want to say. parents don't seem to understand the kind of relationship their kids can build online-- they don't realize that sometimes, the people who they can't see the faces of are the ones who help them the most. because they think everyone's a creeper on the internet, they think close friendships are all but impossible. but y'know? they're incredibly wrong. we are all like family; although a pretty fucked up one, we'll make it. just let me point out two things here:

1) as your family, we care about you, and so we'll keep on saying this: please, please, please try to stay strong. eat when you can-- even if you only feel half-up to it. kick a wall, beat a pillow, smash a box of pencils-- whatever you have to do to keep your skin as scar-free as possible. you may think you're absolutely awful, but we don't, and so we're gonna keep pleading you to hang tough. we'll always be here for you, even when your parents aren't.

2) although your mother may be naive, just know that she does care about you. you may not care about her, but she doesn't want to see you do this to yourself. it's completely unfair, but life never is fair.

3) we love you. when you think of us, don't think of just a computer screen: think of that red string on our fingers, wrapping all the way from north america to europe to australia and all the way back. it's a better representation of what we all truly are. we're here. *hug because hugs make everything better*

Yeah, everyone has been posting vents, including you Max. :D
I know, we really need to stop making the NSP so depressing.

We aren't exactly venting on the NSP. We're just posting stories that revolve around depression. Those are still stories.
On the other hand, I'm feeling pretty happy tonight :D

Yeah, I know. But I can't just deal with crap when it's KP, something that I can fix.

Well, exactly. Do we HAVE to write depressing stories?
Yay! You feel happy! I love when people feel happy!!:D

:confused:Thanks Lily. :D

[quote=BearWithAStrawberry;442646]I didn't mean it that way.
I was just saying /well trying to get through/ that we can't all be on the EVT 24/7 and that we all have our own lives.

I really didn't mean to be harsh.
Um , yeah.
I'm sorry, Confuzzled[/QUOTE/]

Thanks. And I am sorry too if anything I have said hurt you.





Wait....what?? What is with this reply? What happened with the kind and sincere one above?

Most of you are going to go against me for saying this....
But the cussing needs to stop. Or for me anyways. On WB, there is hardly any warning. What is some innocent kid comes one and finds a bunch of you kids/teenagers cussing on a website that is supposed to be writing good, not cussing?
All I am saying, is keep it down to a minimum. Because in the past. Few pages, there have been so many cuss words, I can't even count. There are better alternatives.

well, sometimes, it helps us to write stories that relate to us. it can also make others feel like they arent alone if the character is going through the same thing.

Yeah, I know. :D I think it is more of the "feel sorry for me" vents that tick me off.
Oh, I love your poems by the way. :D

*hasnt seen any, but hasn't really been much on the NSP except to post poems*
thanks! :D

The author can relate to the story, depression at least provides ideas. I don't get what the problem is. It's not the stories that make people depressed; if you don't like them, don't read them.
I take the happy thing back. I'm rather exasperated now.
Link me to one of the aforementioned rants. Please.

The venting is only done HERE, on the EVT. Occasionally the Forum game, too, but a little, innocent kid probably/hopefully won't come onto the EVT. It is a VENTING thread, so if the kid sees that, they should know to stay away. Unless they have no clue what the heck venting is.

But the cussing is done on almost every thread, Arin.
I don't agree wi Confuzzled, just pointing it out.

If I did, I would hurt those people's feelings. But I have a few specific ones in mind.
And since my version of "feel sorry for me rants" is probably WAY different than yours, you would probably say "how is this feel sorry for me?"
So, for those two reasons, I think you probably should know what I am talking about. If you still don't, I'll post a link.

??? Can I have a link?

Yeah... Just don't blame me if I sound like a mean person. One sec...

Ok... I am not trying to be mean. UGH! I feel mean! Everyone does one of these, these are just some examples. They are all beautifully written its just... You guys probably won't think it's what I think anyways...

I posted it. And left it in for like ten minutes. I can't leave it up, I would feel like a monster.

Yeah. Lots of little kids see PG-13 and R movies, though, and I don't find that ok. I'm sure those movies have cussing. Why would it be a problem to see things like damn on the forums, when they already watch movies that are waaay more extreme. I'm not saying every little kid does, just....

I don't even know. Ignore me. In elementary, second grade, a quarter of the kids were already watching R movies, so...

Post it. I don't.
-_-

I didn't see it, I just got back from PE.

You do deserve to stop. No-one deserves to hurt like this. Certainly not you.
But you are. You are amazing, awesome, epyk and a good person.
Screw them, then. You are.

Sure. I'm trying to arrange a Skyping session for this evening.

^ This.

i'm an emotionless robot again.
just going through the motions.
i can't feel anything.
i'm going numb.
i'm going insane.
i'm pretending like i know what i'm doing but i don't.
what the hell am i doing?
i don't--
i don't know.
i can't even get excited.
i can't get happy.
i can't get sad.
i can't get sad.
all i think coherently--
two words--

*disagrees with every part except the second to last sentence, and most of the second sentence*

my mom asked me today if i wrote the bomb threat note that caused my school to evacuate for half the day.
this makes me feel like acting out. maybe i'll wear skinny jeans tomorrow instead of regular jeans
also she asked me if i'm 'into cutting' because apparently she's been told fuck thank god i'm a great liar when i feel like shit
and she also asked me if i wanted to see a therapist, if she could find one. i don't think i believe she'd actually let me go. and she was, like, "you knowww once you go for mental help it's oN UR PERMNENT RECERD AND DON'T GO AWAY"

You really don't deserve to hurt.

Do whatever is best for you, Isaac. If you need to see a psychiatrist then better on your permanent record than you having to hurt without help.

no one deserves to hurt like this includes you. people are blind to the good in themselves sometimes, but people who love you (eg your internet family) (and friends and family in real life, even though they're being stupid and naïve about it) see that you are a fucking amazing beautiful human being
do so, skinny jeans are awesome.
please please try not to cut. it's not going to help in the long run. and if you're doing it because you think you deserve the pain you're as completely fucking wrong as everyone else who does is.
if you think seeing someone would help, you should try, you don't know that your parents won't let you. and i'm pretty sure she's wrong about the permanent record thing, doctors and such usually aren't allowed to break confidentiality

i hit myself so hard today.


why am i so mean, disagreeable, annoying, incoherent, dispicable, stupid, dumb, idiotic, dull, boring, icky (well, maybe not that icky....), horrible, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, and im really dense/shallow. i do things i shouldnt. my teacher (s) hate me, and, just, uggghhhhhh.
/moan/
/moans yet again/

also......
(okey, nevermind. my issues needn't be so exposed)
this is all im going to tell you, but it gets worse.
soo.........

notgonnacry
notgonnacry
notgonnacry
notgonnacry
notgonnnacry
notgonnacry
maybegonnacry
maybegonnacry
maybegonnacry
okay
ill cry
bye

Today was a weird day. I was considering suicide at one point, sitting with my crush talking about his completely fictional life story at another point, and taking the math olympiad at another point.

why considering suicide?

oh, honey. if you think a therapist would help, and she actually lets you go to one, then please do go.
by the way, friendly reminder that i love you no matter what.
yes that sounds cheesy.
no i don't care.
it's true, anyways.

yeah, my days go something like that too: mixture of depression, slightly high points, weird points, and school.

*hugs* thinking about killing awesomeness is a bad idea.

I don't know if it would, or how willing i'd be able to be about talking to the therapist. and idk if she'd let me.
Thank you. *hugs* and same to you.

I think I do deserve it. (You certainly don't, though.) (also you are blind to the overflowing amounts of good and awesomeness in you) My family certainly doesn't.
i'm not really sure if i'm doing it to make myself feel a bit better, or to punish myself.
my parents almost always reject my ideas as wrong and stupid. i think maybe i should try to learn from my mistakes.