It isn't that. There is more to it that pure ungratefulness, you are just interpreting your miserable state of mind as such. When one is truly sad, nothing can cheer you up, so your are not really ungrateful because your emotions have not changed.

Emotions, however, are odd little things. I have invented two new emotions to describe how I feel sometimes - blended and blurred. I don't feel either at the moment. I suppose I am curious, but this is not an emotion.

Pluzzle, I took the alexithymia test. I scored 125 - high alexithymic tendancies. Even simple things like being disgusted by the concept of sex are a part of this. It's a symptom, in my case. Alexithymia is difficulty putting into words your emotions. It's typical of ASDs (autistic spectrum disorders). Another thing that defines it is lack of empathy. I'm milder on this count. I also took the empathy quotient and the systemizing quotient. I love random online tests for weird conditions...

PEOPLE SCRATCHING PAPER!

Gives me a horrible taste in my throat, it does.

The alexithymia test has to be done spontaneously, so results vary from taking the test once to taking it again.

Paper rubbing on paper is another annoying one. In fact, most paper noises are.

Also, the Toronto alexithymia scale is considered to be more reliable...

But you can't take it online.

*raises hand meekly* 0_0 I once knew a boy who was horribly disturbed by the sound of duct tape being pulled off its roll. The few times our teacher used duct tape in class, he freaked out horribly. He'd cringe and shiver and be all twitchy for the rest of the day. Kids started bringing duct tape to school just to mess with him. It was so cruel. ._.

If I don't like a noise, people just have to stop making it!

That was the point. e_e They WANTED to annoy him. *angry sigh* No wonder the guy turned into a jerk... ._.

Idiots. Some of these hideous noises make me gag.

I just hate squeaks.
Found myself looking at last year's birthday greetings. WHY.

Nothing.
I just realised I had so much more friends back then.

What was so eloquent about me saying...?

Do people just assume everything I say is eloquent because at least 77% of it actually is?

Isn't more of 78.79%? No, the way you handle things, or the way you talk always seems well planned, and you seem cool-headed, slightly detached. They're good qualities.

don't
don't touch me
i hate this
just
don't
touch
me
i
will
murder
you

email me?


http://i.picasion.com/pic67/a3662455...458c842b20.gif

made especially for everyone.

okay so ugh.
on Friday my parents and I have an appointment with a therapist for me.
yay.
ugh.
I don't want to go, now that I'm not as bad as I was about a week ago… I don't feel comfortable with the thought of talking to a therapist. And I don't want to be fixed like that, I don't want to stop hating myself, I want to be a different person I can like better.
lkjasdfljkasdljksdjk

*hugs* You don't have to bottle it up…
You'll manage it, someday.

*thumbs up of approval for you*
*hugs*

You're not just a forgotten person D: And if I do ignore you, it's not on purpose… I'd like to get to know you better, you seem like a really awesome person, but you're not on KP a lot, so… :/
*hugs* you can vent with me if you want. And I do care. You are important.

Noo, you aren't. Getting an iPod doesn't make your problems go away.

*punches your brother in the face for you* he's a f***ing asshole, and I'm sorry you have to deal with him. *hugs*
try to not even think about killing yourself, okay…?
You don't need him or your parents. *hugs* and you do have friends. *gestures at self and others on KP*
You can make it.

Material possessions don't determine the level of happiness. If it did, then only people in poverty would be depressed. You're not an ungrateful spoilt brat.

/hugs
Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. They might be able to help you. I really hope they can. But if it just makes you uncomfortable and upset, then don't force yourself to go.
You are a good enough person for you to like. But this is progress.


Seconded.

i have one on saturday. *hugs you* and i feel pretty much the same way. although i think if i could convince her to let me write about it instead of talk about it and have her read the writing it would go about 100 times better than it's gonna go. which is like negative 5million worse.

good luck. :/ *hugs back* Maybe you could convince the therapist to let you do that?
haha. I don't think I'd have a choice, unless I convinced my parents that I'm okay……
nope, I'm not.

Maybe going to the therapist will help :3 You can tell them that that's what you want and maybe they can help you do that ~hugs~ Don't hate yourself. you're amazing.

It's not you really >.< Yeah, it is occasionally on KP but mainly where I live and the people that are here. /shrugs It's an unfixable problem.
That made me smile . . . . thank you :3 I don't think I would be brave enough to kill myself anyways . . . . so I guess that's not a problem. Just thank you so much :'3 /tears The friends I've made on KP are much better than the friends I have here. They care more, and truthfully, I care about you guys more >.< /glompsallmembersespeciallyLST
Thank you

If it comes down to it, just lie down on the floor and go to sleep if they force you to go.
You are.

lol therapy sucks, guise. she was just like 'okay so what happened' and there was zero level of trust at all.
i'm not helping but idek.

ALSO
If you're talking about suicide or self harm, tell your therapist that you'd like to speak without anyone else there. That's if your parents are in the room.

you too. and i don't know.
no, i know it won't do anything good. i just want to try so i can say i tried, and so my parents won't be pissed, and so my doctor won't be all "but whyyyyyyyy wasn't it wooorrrrrrrrrrkiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggg????"

yeah... my parents don't know about the self harming still. and i don't plan on ever telling them.
unless it's in my suicide note.

I'm not particularly hopeful…
thanks, even though it's not true

*hugs* It's not your fault they can't recognise your awesomeness. (:
I'm glad it did. *hugs* And don't think of yourself as cowardly for not killing yourself, ever. It takes courage to live, too. I'm glad it's not a problem. *tackle hug*
xD I might try… what if they try punishing me for that though >.<

thanks…
If asked about suicide or self-harm, chances are I'm going to lie…

You won't have a fucking suicide note. You're going to fucking live. please. *hugs*

Welcome :3 And it most certainly is true >8| ~stares down with lazer eyes~

.-. noooooo.
I never thought of it like that . . . . ~ponders~ ~tackle hugs back~ Gracias

that too.
like a fucking rug
yeah, i will. not till i'm 29 or so, but that's honestly the only way i see out. and i am going to live, for twenty more years if i'm lucky.

@Calla: if that noooo was to you being awesome theN NOOOO YOU ARE AWESOME SHHH
you can't know that for sure.
please, please don't, ever… this probably sounds really cheesy, but the world is a better place with you here. You deserve to live a long, happy life. *massive hugs forever*

thank you.

You deserve immortality. Your amazingness levels are dangerously high.
/gently glomps/
.....if gently glomping is possible......
>_>

I am so ready to be done with 8th Grade Comm Arts... of course I get a really good writing teacher, who has crazy high expectations, and I'm not even a fourth as good as she expects me to be...

so I might have Depersonalization Disorder.


Great. I took a few quizzes, looked some stuff up. It matches. Young adults are the mostly likely to fall prey to it. Sometime when I talk, I see my body as a shell, and I watch myself. When I look into the mirror, I hardly ever see myself anymore, just someone who doesn't seem like me, like me but wrong. I'm not scared. Just beaten.

...I'm sorry.

And you are awesome as well o3o YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE

GOSH BLEEPING DARN IT.

Why in the name of sanity DOES THE DOG ALWAYS DIE AT THE END OF THE MOVIE?

GOSH DARN IT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE LOGIC BEHIND ALWAYS KILLING THE DOG. SERIOUSLY.

That's it. I'm never ever watching another realistic fiction movie ever again. Even if it's in the "Children & Family" section. THEY FREAKING SHOT THE DOG. MOST OF THE CHARACTERS' FAMILY EITHER DIED OR WERE KILLED. THAT WAS NOT A FAMILY MOVIE GOSH DARN IT!

One day, I'm going to write a story where the PERSON dies at the end instead of the dog. ._. Just to prove how ridiculous this trend is.

Stupid movies. Never going to watch another again. Not for a long, looooong time. I'm sick of getting slapped in the face every bleeping time I attempt to sit down and watch something.