Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMi
(Post 344509)
Heather. Ahmagawd. Why do you do this to meh. Everytime you post something like this, I'm just all like, Darth Vader style, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
No matter WHAT you say, no matter how many points you think you make about how stupid you are or ugly or bitchy or WHATEVER... it's all inside of you. Not once, once in my life, have I looked at you and thought, "What a bitch." Okay? Never. You know what? Sometimes someone makes you angry, and you kinda shut them out for a while and read. But you're happy and laughy again within SECONDS. And don't effin' CARE if you're not happy and laughy on the inside (ok, that sounds harsh, I'll explain in a sec), because what everyone else sees is who you are, beyond all this depressingish junk. You're bright and colorful and brilliant and beautiful... and that's how everyone sees you. Everyone. Hell, I remember when I first met you. 4th session of Circus Camp 2010, 2nd week. You missed the first week because your your dad (:(), and you were coming in late. Everyone was gushing about how Heather was coming back, and since I was new and stunk at everything, I was jealous. I was all, "WHO DIS HEATHER AND WHY EVERYONE LIAK HER INSTEAD OF MEE." But then you came in. Skipping. Smiling, no braces. Pigtails. You looked the happiest, sweetest girl in the whole world. That was when I understood.
As long as you're happy on the outside, people will look at you and like you, I promise.
Now on the inside... here's a challenge. For somed effed-up reason, your brain enjoys convincing you that you're stupid, ugly, conceited, fat, WHATEVER. YOUR brain is feeding you this info, so YOU'RE the only person who hears it. Trust me, I feel fat sometimes, and a voice in the back of my head is like, "Fatso, fatso, fatso!" But it's not like everyone else in hearing it too. "Mira's fat, Mira's fat." No. They have no idea. So they look at me and don't think I'm fat, because I'm the only one who noticed the tiiiiiiniest roll of extra skin (well, sometimes I have li-lot more than a tiny bit xD) and suddenly my brain wants me to constantly scold myself for being "fat".
This is all in your head, Heather. SHOW YOUR HEAD WHO'S BOSS. TELL THAT STUPID, UNDESERVING HEAD TO GO TO HELL. OK!?
And sorry about not being here. DD: *furrows brow* I reeeeally miss you guys. I come in every morning to get checked but they send me right back. Monday??
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Darth Vader paints his toenails pink. (GYC REFERENCE, BITCHES.)
....
What? I HAD to start off with something ridiculous. xD Now onto the serious shtuff: First of all, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8...lfy9o1_400.gif
(whilst searching for that gif I stumbled upon some very, uh, sexy Chris Colfer pictures... coughcoughcough. :D)
I know it's all in my head. I know it's all just some crap thought up by my brain. I know I shouldn't listen to it. But sometimes that little voice in the back of your head becomes bigger, and it brings itself to the front, and it pushes its way through and says, "HAI I'M HERE I'M THE GODDAMN CENTER OF ATTENTION NOW GODDAMMIT Y'ALL'D BETTER LISTEN TO ME" and then it starts ranting on about how horrible you are. Which is, of course, not ideal. So you try to push it back, but it just counters you with "You're not even that amazing," "You're just being selfish, trying to get me outta here but no chiz sir I am HERE TO STAY" and that echoes in your head, heretostay heretostay heretostay heretostaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy... and it's a neverending echo, it doesn't end, it won't end, and you need to to end but it won't and every time it starts fading the voice says it again, "HERE TO STAY" and the echoes start all over again. Y'know what I mean?
So I can't counter the countering just by myself. That's why I finally relented and broke my 3-days-off-WB streak, which has only been beaten on days when I'm on vacation as far as I know. I needed to get alla dis crap off my chest and just say to someone, or whatever. And what you gave me in response was exactly what I needed, Mira.
The voice won't listen to me. The voice in my head knows that I have no effing power over it on my own. I thought I did, but I was wrong, and now I have to change the goddamn ending of the story I was writing, because it was my story, and my story's not over yet. Not. Over. Yet. /cueIt'sNotOverYetfromAVPS...
/songbreak
Anyways, you get the point. I needed a friend to tell me that I'm amazing, that I inspire you and that I'm pretty damn cool, and hell yeah that sounds self-centered but it sure as f--- helps, so who am I to argue?
What I'm trying to say is, thank you. Thank you a million times to circle around the sun and back to Earth. Thank you because you've beaten that stupid voice back and it's not there to stay, per se, but it'll be back there for a while, with just the occasional whisper and not full-on bitch mode. <3 you, hon. See you tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxi
(Post 344514)
Everybody needs to have a smile on their face. o_o Everyone on here is depressed.
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No shit, man. It's the EVT. Whaddaya expect?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict
(Post 344552)
Sometimes it just ain't that easy.
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Very true.
/justrealizedIcursedmoretimesthanIprobablyshould've inthispost /whooops...
