trust me i know ill regret it i have once before (or not really bc that wasn't because of sadness i just happened to like the pain but that's another story)
no but i wasn't just think of past mistakes it was actually something that i did and i feel really bad about it and im not gonna talk about it anymore bc i shall start anew and try to make it disappear
so yeah idk
aw im sorry :( new years day is ironically not the best huh *hugs*

ikr i just want this day to be over already
also i seriously don't want to go back to school on monday because there are certain people who don't know how to respect boundaries and make assumptions they probably shouldn't and then make me feel bad about everything (one of my random awake-until-4 feelings) and also its my birthday soon, which is probably gonna be better because my mom and sister are finally coming home, but those certain people are gonna use that opportunity to say... well... things. (this is vague but i don't care at all)
*returns hug and gives floofs* *points at huge purple writing in signature*

don't worry let's be vague together
i feel you. mostly i hope im back to normal bc depressed feelings + school is a deadly combination but other than that all im worried about is forgetting an assignment or something
aw don't listen to people who make you feel bad <333 you're an awesome person ok
FLOOFS

ohmygosh do not even get me started on forgetting an assignment
like once i missed a 2 point homework sheet for math and i cried for a day... my only new year's goal is to get good grades without all this unhealthy baggage XD
floof

So I fainted in an optometrist office yesterday.


I hate having a uterus.

I don't know what just happened but every ounce of motivation I had just crashed and burned. Maybe it's the four hours straight of homework I did and it'll go back to normal tomorrow but I don't know. I feel crappy.

can I not just get some recognition or appreciation

i've had kind of a shitty day

unhappy things i guess
 

same here. *unenthusiastic high five* like, i legit broke down and sobbed in my room for a long time without even knowing what the heck was wrong. but hopefully ur days go better than that breakdown did. (idk what to say. i'm not gonna stop people from being sad when i'm too sad to encourage u to do something drastic that will suddenly make u feel awkward about trying to be happy. there's always chocolate, tho.)



in other news, i'm sick. and it's torture. (i'm legit the worst person to have to deal with when i have a cold. as though my fear of vomit wasn't bad enough)

i was verbally harassed today again. by the same people.
but it wasn't that bad, and the comments might not have been directed at me.
basically it was your average catcalling ("look at that booty!" etc) sort of thing and these guys keep stalking me and it's not funny.
they also followed me around screaming at me and when i told them to leave me alone they told their friends and laughed.
also i tried to come out (sexuality wise) during biology class after learning about asexual reproduction and they invalidated my orientation without me even saying what it was. ("humans can't be asexual! everyone's horny!" things like that)
i hate them.
i hate the whole lot of them.
but if i report them i'll feel like a special entitled snowflake of a girl.

I promised myself I wouldn't feel sad or anything but here I am and I don't know why

/hugs you/ shh don't worry you'll get over it bc you're milo the amazing <3

thanks
i'm sorry you're sick, that sucks (*gives nice tissues and your favorite soup*)
that's sexual harassment you need to call them out on that seriously do not let anyone get away with catcalling, it's not only a form of bullying but supremely sexist.
and invalidating your sexuality is a dick move (*pats head*)
i'm going to fly to you and kick some serious ass because that shit is not okay
I feel you.
But hey, we're all sad sometimes. All you can do is allow yourself to feel the sadness, and then expel it and try to do something that makes you happy.

idk if it was even directed at me for one... it was probably a joke for the guy next to me who was also one of their little friends
also help this coming-out thing is scary and people are acephobic here
like they even use gay as an insult and say bi/pan isn't real and aces are inhuman

suicicde and unreality tw i gues??
 

I'm sorryy for bothering you guys withh anything and everything im sorry for taking up space on thi forum sorryyr for my spelling i can't type
DOn't quote whatever i wrote below pleaase

I dont knwo what happened I've just suddenly fallen into a pit of despair i guess and i just don't know what to do and everyone else needs so much more help than i do and i bother everyone and no one even likes me any way but Nothing is real :) We r all fake and the world doesn't turn and everything is a lie i am not real i am not real.
I'm actually looking forward to being alone for a week in the apartment it means i can get the chance to jump off the balcony (:

I don't get involved much here ananymore, but elliot i love you and u don't deserve anything that life is giving you also ur so cute and meera your new haircut is greeat and rebecca im stil l upset that you and tom don't go out anymore but you are so independant iit doesnt matter, tia you are a beautiful souul who doesn't deserve any shit, sory I just wanted to tell u how cool u guys are

milo don't hurt yourself and stay safe because i am platonically in love with you and i know multiple people are as well and you're one of the nicest and most genuinely amazing human beings ever and it would devastate me if anything happened to you and i know i'm being a cliched weirdo but i don't care ^.^
thanks about the haircut btw :)

im listening tot tadashi mixes on 8tracks fuck, my heart hurts big hero six made me cry in the cinema and im crying againa

thaank you meera you are truly too kind

fuck sorry i didnt see that milo

hey i care abt u a lot ok like i genuinely do u mean A LOT to me and i would be absolutely devastated lf something happened. i say that a lot to you bc its tru, even if im in fuckin america i would still be devastated. u mean so so so much to me and please please please dont do anything to harm yourself please

as for unreality i cant help bc i cant even bring myself to believe thinggs are real but u r here on this earth and u matter to us and thats enough. even if nothig is real u r real to me and i hope u can come to understand that u r real too.

i care abt you so much please please please try not to harm yourself <3

thanks don't apologise there's nothing to apologiste for

thank you very muhch and i am very grateful for you and i care about you a lot to

you know that feeling where your chest hurts and your hands are swirling in front of you and the intrusive thoughts about hurting other people :-) well

i deleted my tumblr becaus i got frekaed out earlier i will remake tonight or tomorrow morning

pleases go to sleep i want you to have a lot of sleep and feel better eli

They are not worth your concern. Remember, people like that are pitiful specimens of the human race. And they keep wasting oxygen.

Milo - you are my secret Australian twin and I care about you a lot. We all care about you. Stay safe.

Really dont know where this goes but I need help. There's this boy who i know from Clash of Clans. Anyways apperently he had a harsh childhood and ran away six states to see his ex girlfriend. I've been telling him he shouldn't and in the end his ex rebukes him and he's on the streets. Now he's earning money but it's snowing bla bla bla. And he's says he's gonna be on the run everywhere in the us. Now what?
This seems like an unlikely story but I bet it's true. He's that type of boy. He once tried to omit suicide. Help?

thanks rebecca c: (whats the weakest smiley emoji tho..)

@mysterygirl: do you know what state hes in and the approx location of him? if so, theres phone numbers you can call for homeless shelters to pick him up in cold temps and they can relocate him, etc etc, its important that hes somewhere warm bc from what i understand its fucking cold in the us at the moment.

i hope the intrusive thoughts go away soon and i hope u feel better milo!!

and thats understandable ive deleted stuff for similar reasons.

thank u for the msg on tumblr !

stay safe milo we care a lot

my gsa is still a baby it's our first year and we've only had around 5 meetings i think, and because it's our first year, we still have kinks and things to work out. however, i am still incredibly proud of how much progress we've made so far as a club. it's hard sometimes, and time consuming too, but it's so worth it. i'm so passionate about this club and i am so glad to be vice president, it's really an honor. i'm trying not to think about how there are only about 4 fridays in a month and how we only have about 5 months left of this school year left. it's so little time when i look at it from a bigger picture. i can't wait to see what this club will bring in the next few months, and even in the next few years hopefully.

thanks elliot ❤️

thats so cool abt the gsa tho! i hope it does well in those few months (:

psa my new tumblr url is hhousukeodoroki but im probs gonna change it to hhirohhamada bc i love hiro hamada but i hav the url reserved atm. also sorry about the theme, i cant change it on the ipad, so ill have to do it at my apartment

*commit.
Omit means something completely different.

Anyway, I don't know what to say. Tell him to look for a shelter or somewhere to stay, get aid or something. I don't know.

i don't know life just seems super bleak right now like you go to school for all these years then when you get out of school you work and there's all of these things you do and these schedules and it feels like no one ever really gets anything done it's just work work work on nothing in particular and I feel like everything is just going to fall apart
And school I used to love school but now I hate it because we don't do anything we just sit and our minds rot as we listen to some deadbeat teacher talk about their life and honestly all but one of my teachers are absolutely horrible and my mind just doesn't work anymore it just doesn't.
Except for English school is horrible and my friends are fourth wheeling me which is by far wayy more insulting than a third wheel and music used to be my escape but my music program really sucks and idk.
and i don't even have time to write bc meaningless projects.
I just need a nap and a hug and a cookie and just like two years off from school thanks.

Ok but i get jealous so easily like my friend sends me a snapchat of her in some weird yet exotic place? Cool i hate myself now thanks. why. i also get attached very easily sorry

i am so tired

like this isn't a statement about how i'm tired of life or anything. it's just a fact. i am so incredibly tired and it's 12:15 and i just finished a six minute speech on the importance of the arts at my school and i have to get up in six hours and i still have about an hour of chinese homework left

i may get a kitten


(imsoscreamingrightnow)

feelin this too

I'm wondering if I need to rethink this friendship i have.
I call her my best friend and she calls me hers but.... I don't know. She's constantly complaining and telling me about her life and I'm constantly asking how she's doing but she never reciprocates. I feel selfish for saying that but it's true. Whenever i try to tell her about something going on in my life or some emotional woe I have, she either cuts me off and starts talking about something else or ignores me. Today i got fed up because she's constantly complaining about being hurt and was complaining for about ten minutes straight so I said something like 'haha you think that hurts well for the past two weeks ive-' and she cuts me off and tells me to shut the f up. (I had shoulder surgery btw so was saying that her minor bruises got nothing on my drilled bones) I DONT KNOW. She has her goods and bads. This time im seriously pissed though. I walked away when she said it. Ugh. I just dunno. I need to rethink my friendships. Plus i'm trying to decide if i want to do schooling overseas next year and thats in september but im trying to decide if i value my friends enough to not leave them behind. Or if i should stay. I dont know. It'd only be three months but. Meh.

This is going to sound horrible, but my one friend was on vacation this whole week, and I had way more fun with my friends than I do when she's with us.

lol im sad but i m kk u know

Okay @cool person who sent me the tumblr message this isnt abt u!., im not, surprisingly, vagueing abt u dw.

Ok like im so gonna do something stupid? Like what a shame my blades r in the bixes already fml onky five more days until we move then i have them back tg tho. Im sorry to everyone ive hurt or done something fucckign stupid to because that is all i do hahaahah. Lol

im such an emotional person i need to get over everything and i know how to do that