http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G17iMOw0ar8 Hey everybody needs to watch this RIGHT NOW it's a Ted talk about self harm and this guy is so inspirational oh my goodness PLEASE watch this it's like 20minutes and it's completely worth it. I literally cannot stress how amazing and important this is so even if you don't struggle with self injury please please watch this

i cut for the first time in eight months i was doing so well but then i just broke i dont even know why most days are a lot worse than this one i just dont get it why did i feel the need to do it now of all times i feel so worthless and i got in a fight with my dad at lunch because he made a mean joke about my friend and i got upset and he called me too sensitive and i just hate myself what is worth living for anymore i just want to give up and die and were going to the lake on wednesday and i've got six big red ugly marks on my skin oh my god someones going to see theyre going to know someone help please i just want to leave

hey love I wasn't able to respond to this earlier because I had friends over but I've been thinking aobut and praying for you all day. You're so loved. It's okay that you screwed up because everyone does that sometimes. pls don't die you are so loved.

thank you - that means more than you'll ever know. i love you so much.

no problem at all and I'm super glad it meant something to you. I love you too <333

im scared to go to any pride events now. hell, im even afraid to go to the vigil in my town for the orlando shooting. but i will. im scared as fuck but i have to be here. i have to keep fighting

yes please keep fighting we need so many brave people like u <3

everything hurts and i just don't know what to do anymore.

good things to dullen emotional pain:

1. loud rock or metalcore (favorites: Halestorm and Issues)
2. binge watching violent and/or funny tv shows (favorites: x files and Monk)
3. phone a friend (literally call somebody and talk over the phone for a few hours it rocks)
4. cut up t shirts into unwearable slashed tank tops
5. do really aggressive dramatic makeup
6. draw on yourself

so like
what if i quit music forever

i put this on an but
i just learned im my best friends FP (a bpd term) and aaaahhh
i kinda suspected it for a while but
im flattered but also i dont know everything about it so time to do Research

i will definitely try those things. thank you so much, it really means a lot. :)

I think I fucked up.
well actually I know I fucked up.
I'm arguing with my friend, and i'm so fucking stubborn about certain things and fuck I made her cry, and I don't even fucking know what to do because I don't want to push too hard and ruin our friendship but I also can't let this go because the thing we're arguing about is something that's not healthy or safe for her. What if i've already broken our friendship? Fuck fuck fuck, no, I don't know what to do.
I just...is it so bad that I don't want my best friend to lose her virginity until she's married?

/hugs/
I feel personally that that argument isn't worth destroying a friendship over. I know that it's tough when you have strong personal beliefs on those kinds of things, but if it really does come down to it, your friendship is more important than being stubborn about her virginity. If she wants to listen to you, that's great. I just wouldn't advise being too stubborn about it if it's going to ruin an amazing friendship.

https://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-...ury-1857158462

everyone that deals with self-injury (cutting, etc) needs to visit this immediately

what if i... stopped?

ohhh my gosh please please please write it. even if it is never published but you share it with close friends, your friend's friends, writing websites... it can have soo much impact on other's choice to live. it would be so amazing if you wrote it! :) i would be a big fan, for sure.

hey so I just started writing bits and pieces of it but one part is here:
https://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-...ury-1857158462

you know it's just hard when I'm being followed around by this fear that I'm not really good enough?? I have no idea why, but it seems like maybe I'm not good enough of a friend, and i know I can't "save" people per se but I wish I could at least help???? the other thing is that people like to assume that since I'm so busy loving on them and helping them out, I know what I'm doing. and that is such bullshit.

WHY am I so paranoid -___- (i say after checking under the bed to see if there is a person under there bc that's always a possibility. or behind the shower curtain. or in the covers. i left the closet in the corner alone and didn't go near it because i don't even want to know and it's probably safer in the event of someone hiding in the closet for me to pretend i don't know about it the logic just makes sense to me. this is prolly bc the room is technically outside the house and the door has to be unlocked so someone can come wake me up and my parents arent here at the moment so i am irrationally scared and i thought maybe voicing it will make me less scared and i will go read fanfiction now so I can maybe fall asleep not scared)

I Want To Die

/hugs/ you'v gotta find some way to stop this because it will drive u insane so pls tell your therapist or your psychologist bc it will help

don't do that pls, I think you're great and that would upset me and a shitload of other people

this doesn't happen all the time though so idk whether it's actually important or not.. ;3;

hey, but if you die, you won't ever see how life will get better. i promise you it will. please stay alive. i love you so much. i don't know if this'll matter to you, but i'm keeping you in my prayers.

tomorrow's the last day of school and i know im going to cry already lol

cx debate camp. three weeks.
here's a helpful list of everything that could possibly go wrong.
1. i run out of money
2. I don't like anybody
3. Nobody likes me
4. My roomate and me don't get along
5. I lose/break my laptop/phone
6. I lose every single debate bc I'm horrible at debate oh my god
7. I get homesick
8. I get hopelessly bored
9. I get super depressed
10. I get abducted or murdered the first time I take a cab going to sravani's house

hey
1. come prepared
2. if u don't like anyone then they're probably not worth liking
3. that's their loss bc you're great
4. that would be awkward but on the bright side you'll never have to see them again afterwards (and also im sure you'll get along fine with the others c: )
5. eeee take good care of it ur electronic devices have my blessing they will be fine
6. from what i know you're awesome at debate and if you lose its a learning experience ^.^
7. /hug/ happens to everyone but occasionally talking to family if you have time/bringing stuff on the trip that reminds you of home can help
8. boredom sucks, bring stuff that'll entertain i guess. but also since it's a camp there probably won't be too much free time to get bored hopefully
9. text me!! ill talk to u/ try to help :^)
10. tbh if it were me id have the same fear without a doubt. just try to think about how unlikely that outcome is and how there are like a billion more people in the world and many in texas who will get a cab during that time that could get kidnapped so why you? just. idk. overthinking is a menace but probability is somewhat calming (like when i went on the really scary rollercoaster i was remembering how more people die on average on the way to an amusement park than on a rollercoaster) but yeah. u will be fine and it will be an uneventful ride and we will have loads of fun k? c:
idk if this list was for you to feel better about the trip or just your actual insecurities but regardless i hope it's a fun trip bc it seems like one and u deserve fun!! 8D

why does anything matter if i'm not perfect
i should be dead

no no no ily we all love you
no one's perfect, i know im not thats for sure, but you know what? everything would be so freaking boring if you were perfect.
we're all here for you meera! if you need to talk or something dont hesitate to click my contact tab :)

this is amazing thank u :') and yeah I plan to just chill and listen to music in the taxi and try not to think about how much I hate public transport xp

no problem ^.^ that's a good plan haha music always helps

My boyfriend left a month ago to go to visit his mom/sister in Texas. He was supposed to come back at the end of June. Now, he can't come back because he doesn't have a place to live. He will at the very least be stuck in Texas for a couple of months. I miss him terribly and life sucks, what else is new?

Edit: Also, was debating kicking some bad addictions but now I've fallen back into the arms of depression and kicking them is not possibly because they help keep me sane yayy for my life

ugh I'm sorry I hope he will come back and be with bae

Thanks, I hope he will too haha. At the moment though, he has to stay at his mom's and get a job to save up enough money to come back and get an apartment or something. It sucks because the only reason this is happening is because his dad's girlfriend is a butthole

ugh well I hope she stops being a butthole and whatever the situation he can come back. D: he probably misses you a lot

Sooo I got really depressed last night and I ended up cutting...now I feel like shit and my boyfriend found out and now he's depressed. And I feel horrible. We were talking about his situation and he admitted to me that he's afraid that once he starts working in Texas that he's afraid he's not going to want to come back at all because the lifestyle down there is better for him and such...I feel like shit for making him feel bad and that was literally my worst fear was that maybe he wouldn't want to come back at all and now I don't even know what to do with myself oh my god

ah fuck okay
first of all you are not a bad person and it's not your fault that he's upset. this may seem hard to accept but you are worth getting upset about. It just means he cares and he loves you which is good

and you know it's okay that you screwed up and cut because there are always relapses and weak times and stuff but pls try not to do that again and if you do feel like that again, please email me and I will do what I can. I care about you a lot ok so I hope the bf situation improves a lot but please be safe

*screams*
okay so i'm a feminist and i write speeches in my head and pin so many feminism things and i feel like i can handle myself when someone is trying to debate with me about it.
buuuut there's been instances when someone's being sexist (one person was even making rape jokes) and i got all choked up and nearly cried and all these emotions were getting pelted at me and i wanted to say something so badly and i was so freaking frightened that i wouldn't say anything.
i did say that it's nothing to joke about, but they didn't listen, so i told their father—he didn't do much about it.
and advice? how not to freeze?

i'm going to kill myself. i didnt' make an auditonbye

FUCKING FUCKERS fucking sexists make me want to puke those lil bitches can stfu
aaanyway I hope you feel beter about this stuff in the future and I do think you did the right thing by talking to one of their parents. idk but I hope you feel better about this later. <3

meera okay first of all I want to help you and I want you alive and well. We all do. But this is not the first time you have threatened suicide on here and you don't seem to be very accepting of our help. I think you need professional help, not just a bunch of kids on the internet. I know that some people need to vent, but you are not venting or asking for advice. You are threatening suicide, and that is a very different matter. Please talk to your parents or a responsible adult about this.