She doesn't care

coming to terms with stuff is always really difficult and i dont think im quite there yet but?? i hope everything goes well for yyou!! and that france is fun!!!

i should not be this heartbroken over this stupid internship but i applied for it last year too and got rejected
is it because of my gpa
why am i never good enough for anything academic
why am i so stupid
when will i ever be enough for them
this has literally been my life goal since two years ago and i didn't get in and i hate them and i hate myself i'm stupid
like i had one goal, which was to get in, and i failed to meet it, and this will infalliably lead to a decline in my mental health

oh well at least i have piano practice and bleeding fingers to distract me :)
at least i'm not crying. also i got into another one but i think they accept almost everyone.

hey hey hey you got into another one right?? you can't just assume that they accept almost everyone like arent internships hard to get into in general? focus on the fact that you got into one of them and leave the other behind ,, the only way to get through feeling bad is knowing that it's in the past and eventually it'll be okay bc you got into another and that's what counts
also (this might not make it much better but) you're really really ahead of most people your age, you know that? i know you feel like you're not good enough but there will always be someone better and isn't life just a gigantic leap to the top? you'll get where you want to be, sooner than most others in fact bc you're just so all-rounded and that will work in your favor in the long run. it sucks now but it will be better later and you will grow even more and learn more and surpass whatever you want to surpass
till then, focus on the good and create a new goal. another one. best thing is to create a number of goals varying in difficulty and try meeting them one step at a time, it'll make you stronger and give you more opportunities to pursue
nothing is the most important thing in the world. it's all a matter of perspective and i know, i know along with many others that you're so so capable of succeeding
just get back on your feet and pick things up and move on and work towards it, you still have so long to go, you can do it and i believe in you <3

i'm behind everyone here and that's all that matters :) look at me failing at life!!!!!11111!1!1 XDXDXDXDXD lolololol omg hahahahae f;kadfnszl v;eadsilnx j,.n a,mn emb klmn bklvm if they told me why they did this i'd be less unsstavble :) :) :)
sorry for being an asshole but this is hitting me too hard like you do not know how badly i have wanted this

I've been crying too much lately over stupid shit. Like crying occasionally over the stuff ok sure whatever but I've been crying too fucking much goddammit and its so annoying I'm so annoying and I'd also really like to know how to not feel like shit everyday and also how to actually find a single fucking positive quality w/in myself bc um I'm trash??? loser trash??? worthless loser trash??? can't do anything??? terrible person??? undeserving of what I want and unworthy and too fucking weak??? and yet I want it more than anyone, and yet I deserve to deserve it and have it more than anyone. and I cant fucking win??? and I don't know how to have any positive traits (much less actual competence) to help me achieve the victory I'm way too ridiculously focused on???

im terrible, and that's all

and nothing helps and damn when did everything get this bad and it's all so pathetic I'm so pathetic

what's even the point of any of it.

it's hopeless anyway right

don't mind me i'm just here failing at everything that matters to me :) :) :) :)
distract me please

I know it's worthless and unhelpful for me to post this but hey that's a,l i am so

haha lol I feel this so much this is my pain

and I know I'm a terrible person but why are other people so terrible like the ppeple at my, school nevr do anything beneficial they just make everything worse all the time and