The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)

- Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)

- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 373490)

Okay.....
10c

I replied to your comment on the pic :3 Glad you like!

To all sad/depressed/angry people out there:

X'D This HAS to be turned into a real cartoon. It HAS to. It would be the funniest thing ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vjRUDJoDd8

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 373450)

Anyways, the reason I came here...

Do you remember E and L, about oh ummmm, eight months or so ago? When we were at math camp and we somehow got on the topic of meals? And it just so happened to go like this.
Me: I don't really like eating because it kinda takes up time xD but seriously, I only eat a little.
E: that's kind of unhealthy. 0_o
L: yeah, it is.

And the topic dropped.
Fast forward to summer break. It scared me how little I ate. Maybe a snack one time during the day, and that was it. I'd go to sleep at night with an empty stomach, and repeat the process again. I didn't consider myself fat, weighing at about 80 pounds. Wow, that's actually pretty low for a twelve year old girl. I didn't see a fat girl either, whenever I looked in the mirror. Skinny.

Maybe the depression was messing with my eating patterns, who knows? It sure messed up my sleeping schedule. I'd go to sleep everyday at about two am, maybe sometimes four.

And here we are now, and I feel scared again because I'm not sleeping until one am and I eat a little bit more than during summer, but I still don't eat a lot.
Tonight... I don't know, I felt repulsed by food? Or something. I'm scared though, because this isn't how i should feel. I'm 86 pounds, so why am I feeling like this?

I hate what I'm becoming. Self harm, depressed, angry, never going to sleep on time, incomplete assignments, now this. I hate it.

My Chinese teacher listens to people rant. According to her, some higher form students go to her and start ranting about their shitty lives.
I haven't had that feeling before, unless you count the times I was sick. I practically went the whole day without eating anything.
Do you feel weak or dizzy or anything because you don't eat much?

So, is everyone having a good time?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 373475)

I feel like shit.
And I need to stop complaining.

No… everyone needs to rant sometime. Complaining isn't really the right word for it. :/
And I think maybe you should try making yourself eat more…

Confusion, overwhelmed

For the longest time, I've been obsessing over small things. Mistakes, mostly (And afterwards, I'm filled with guilt), but occasionally, it's things I see. One person who despises me, my friends who look at me in disappointment.
No one really seems to realize how sensitive I am to these things. And for the longest time, I thought the only way out (to get away from my guilt, these crushing feelings) was suicide.
I tried to over-dose yesterday, but didn't get past getting the bottle out of the cabinet. Why? I was held back.
Not by my parents' love, nor my friends... but my writing.
That says something about my life, doesn't it? That I value my writing above the people I know and love... at least, I think I love them.
I just, I can't do this anymore. This feeling like I'm being crushed beneath my thoughts, and it's over the stupidest things ever: Mistakes!
And then, if I do/say one thing wrong, I'll obsess over it the entire day, thinking about how stupid I looked and what not, and it overwhelms me into just wanting to scream: "Kill me! Please!"
Honestly, I can't do this anymore. And the fact that it's such a stupid reason is affecting me so much.
I'm just so pathetic.
And I can't do anything about it.

Why are some people just pieces of crap? They need to find something else to do, like play in traffic or something.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Runes (Post 373556)

You're not pathetic. Don't ever say or even THINK that. You are an amazing person. If writing is the thing keeping you alive, then keep writing as much as you can. Please, please never turn to suicide, or even self-harming. So many people love you. Your friends, family... And even us KidPubbers. You are not stupid either. Convince yourself of how beautiful and nice you are. Could you maybe talk to anyone about it? I know that counsellors help a lot (from family experience), or religion. Keep hold of an anchor that you know will never shift here on Earth. Fill a notebook with squares, and every day, write or draw something that expresses your emotions for that day. It will help you vent.
I'm sorry, I'm not that good with advice...
But please, please, please. Don't turn to drastic solutions. Because in the long run, it won't help. They are not solutions. Not for you, or for anyone else. Ever.

*Crappy day...:/*

You don't get it, do you? At first, I was confused. But now I'm just sad.
What are you trying to do, put me down, try to break my confidence? Well, it's starting to work, because I can already see the cracks forming. It feels horrible when the one thing that you're good at and love doing, and everyone knows you're good is suddenly swept into someone else's arms? Do you know how horrible it feels to be replaced in that one thing?

It sucks, trust me.

And it sucks even worse when it's a teacher doing this. Not a random jerk at school trying to get under your skin, but a teacher.

Of course, no one else at my school would understand, and I wouldn't expect them to either. They would say things like "well, there are other things" and stuff like that. They don't get it. This is my life. This is me.
Without writing,
I.
Am.
Nothing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 373426)

ARE.
YOU.
FREAKING.
KIDDING ME.

If you really are kidding, then, IT'S NOT FUNNY, OKAY? So just STOP IT. e_e

First they said it was going to be six weeks. SIX WEEKS! No biggie. That's just a month and a half. I'd rather lose a month and a half than 2/3 of the entire YEAR. Then, "ohhhhh, noooooo, whoopsie, I made a mistake, it'll be six MONTHS, not six WEEKS, sorry!" kjhkjdbf;kabdfkjbad;fkj?! >w< ARE YOU SERIOUS, WOMAN? THIS IS YOUR JOB HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT KIND OF MISTAKE?!

Then I thought it would be over after Dec. 19. But, NOPE CHUCK TESTA, then came Halloween, which screwed up the schedule since it fell on a Wednesday, thus pushing the relief date back to Dec. 26th. But, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, that's right after Christmas! NOTHING EVER GETS DONE BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR'S EVE, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT? x_x Um, no, I don't know that, I don't CELEBRATE any of those holidays, and thus don't pay much attention to them.

I have to wait until January for this to end.

January!

Jan-u-freaking-ary.

...

But I can't hold out until January. ;____; *sobs*

..... ._. ?