| HeatherB |
04-10-2014 08:23 PM |
i just dont want to do anythign right now the past two weeks have been probably among the hardest of my life and i can't do this im always disappointing people and letting them down and i cant even bring myself to even care about it i dont want to think or feel or breathe any more i jsut want to drown in the darkness and sometimes i push myself too hard because i know that i could get to the black if i really wanted to and it scares me and i want to drown msyelf in the dark and have my vision go fuzzy and lay myself vulnerable and safe and scared and running hard against the wind blowing me the opposite direction but i cant breathe despite the air blowing into my lungs it's to o much and i can't breathe and i dont want to breathe anymore i don't wan tto i don't want to i odn't wnat to breathe and i want to let myself drift away and let go im so tightly wound and im a coiled spring ready to jump at anything that tries to harm me and i wish i could unravel all of my knots until i wasn't even rope anymore, no longer strong and durable just nothing nothing nothing i should be doing everything i can't do anything right i always screw things up always im not your first choice and i cant blame you im not my first choice either i never have been im going now im going under to drown and i hope that it works because if i come back up for air i know that i'll die
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