holy fuck stay away from her good on your mother for filing a complaint counsellor's aren't supposed to be bastards

ahhhh you arent worthless ;-;

i just don't want to be on meds at all. i think therapy depresses me more, honestly. i was getting along fine without my therapist to point out and pick up on all my myriad insufficiencies.
and going back to medication... i don't want to be on it. i don't see a difference on or off. it's a waste of my parents' money-- god knows i do that enough already. and i was fine before meds. i was fine before anyone and everyone knew about my therapy and my depression and my anxiety. i know how to deal with myself. i know what to do if i'm having an anxiety or depressive attack. i can take care of myself. medication throws me off. i don't need to take four pills a night to function.
he sort of knows already.
i made him keep me on the meds so my parents wouldn't worry.
i don't know. see above.

and thanks to all of you for the responses/support. it does mean a lot to me, knowing that you care, even if you can't do much about it.
well that's a really fucking shit thing to do i'm sorry *hugs*
and hey just for the record you are not a shit friend and i happen to LIKE knowing when bad stuff is happening in my friends' lives so it's not a burden at all. if your mind is screwed up... i can't speak for that one, really. but i know lots of wonderful people who think they're worthless, and i do think that that counts as your mind being screwed up at least in terms of self-esteem. i'm really glad your mother filed that complaint. you are NOT worthless. you have low self esteem and that bitch didn't help things, obviously, but you deserve better.

This is why I don't like school counselors.

One time I went to a school where things just weren't working out: the school wasn't all they promised it would be, we already didn't like the cirriculum, and I wasn't very old (but I guess I was still mature for my age).

So she took me in her room and made me cry about problems that are petty to me now and, now that I think about it, that's probably one of the first times I really started to feel someone else's blame fall on me. I was the one who was doing bad in school because there was something wrong in my head? I was the one who didn't handle the situation "correctly" by losing it? (I WAS WITH A COUNSELOR CRYING MY HEART OUT I'M NOT SPOCK) I was the one to blame? It was me all along? It's all my fault? It's all my fault!!!

In the end, I had to name a voice in my head and ended up with a red face all day. Nothing got solved and ever since then I never went to a guidance counselor again. This is exactly why I don't ask anyone for help: I waste time, make them feel bad, and nothing gets done anyway. I should probably stop now because I already kind of feel bad. Anyways, good luck with your life, everybody.

Ellieeeeeee (*hugs*) do you need another hug? D: don't be sad please (*nother huggle*) I'm your friend okay please don't feel like that. You should come on more so I can huggle you everyday. (*hugs tight and doesn't let go*)

OKAY I'M SORRY BUT you write beautifully even when you're venting omg Ena don't.
Just don't.

(*hugs*) i understand how that feels ;-;
this is a rubbish attempt at consolation but i don't know how to help you other than
well we all deserve to be happy cami (*hugs again*)
and i really hope you can stay strong and get back to being happy and know that you still are worth even if you think you aren't
changing is hard. i don't know if anyone has the energy to do it. but i hope you figure it out c: hang in there, kay?

guys i just want to say that all of you are amazing and sometimes life is a bitch who just wants to slap around all of the good people and make them feel like they're not worth it
but honestly, they're worth it. they're beyond worth it.
you're beyond worth it. all of you. life is just being a stereotypical, overly-hormonal teenage girl right now who happens to see you guys as targets because life always targets the best.
stay strong, no matter what shit you're going through, because you're all amazing mmkay <3
and i'm bad at comforting but you are all fricking awesome people who don't deserve this at all.

hey guess who this message also goes for????
YOU
you are freaking amazing and you don't deserve to feel bad about yourself and you are worth fighting for, you're worth fighting for yourself, and you can and will win this war we call life.
*hugs*