idek right (*hug*)

AA that was the
most amazing vent ever.

I feel so... useless. I can't write a single poem right, and am getting frustrated each time I attempt to write a poem, but fail.

I'm so disappointed with myself. I just took a test, and forgot two of the questions! Ugh! I'll probably get under a 90. I'll never forgive myself for forgetting those questions! They were so easy! The one that I did fill out was supposed to take the place of the other question, but I put it in the opposite blank!

I'm fine. Just stressed about exams.

ahhh good luck! ^_^ I'm sure you'll be fine you're pretty intelligent:cool:

all my life i've thought that people have put too much pressure on me to be perfect.
and now i realize how wrong i was.
people haven't pressured me to be perfect.
i've pressured myself to be perfect.
and then when people told me i was perfect, i cringed away in disbelief.
i thought i could never live up to their standards.
i was wrong.
their standards i can meet with sacrifice, distraction, procrastination, and manipulation.
but i'll never be good enough for myself.
i'll never meet my own standards, i'll never be perfect enough.
i beat myself up over the smallest things.
and then my dad gets mad at me.
but i thought that's what he wanted me to be.
it's what i want myself to be.
perfect.
if i don't beat myself up, how will i ever improve?
i won't.
and they'll hate me even more.
but god, i'm such a hypocrite.
i've told people for ages that there's no point in striving for perfection, because it doesn't exist.
i still believe that--
for them.
but for me, myself, i keep trying.
i keep trying to better myself, and in order to, i throw myself down to the bottom so that i may climb to the top.
it's the only thing i know how to do, really.

Every day, I care less and less. About school, grades, life. Don't you just hate it whenever you try so hard to please everyone around you and be a great person and crap and then everyone decides to focus on all of your mistakes and downfalls.

It's just a wonderful feeling.

some people might think it sad that i have only one person in my life who i can trust utterly and completely

but holy shit she is the most amazing person in the world


i was scared and had problems and I was going to just break down so I walked by her classes just to see her face and she saw i was upset so she just walked out of her class and sat down held me until i was okay


and also someone random on the street told me I looked like Lauren Bacall so omfg yes

That is a good friend. My best friends are more trollish and I don't really talk to them about my issues. Although, there is one person who does ask if I'm OK (mostly in maths, for some reason numbers disagree with me) that's just lovely, and people in my school are too focused on their education to do that.

wow that's amazing you can't walk out of class without getting 47895858 detentions though?

that's so great though :D
Mine take everything as a joke lmao

ABout maths, everytime I walk into that classroom I just start crying because though I love maths I am not good at it in any respects. Which is interesting