i dont know about your locks, but ours have a bit where you can push it over on bit but not the rest so you can open it but it looks closed. but some people go around opening at ur school... damn bro.


I'm thinking about leaving kp for reals this time. it's a toxic environment that no matter what happens makes me feel like shit. even posting makes me sad because no reads it? thats so fucking stupid im sorry. whatever. im thinking bout it.

please please please please please don't quit kp please
I read your stuff tho I don't comment at all
just don't quit please

idk it's just that like Laurel said it's not safe anymore, it's making me feel worse than I ever have. lol my stuff isn't even worthy of the name poetry. not compared to you guys' stuff.

KP is in turmoil right now imo, publishing rates will most likely rise anyway, no ones writing real stories and good people are leaving. I think KP is making people sad, I really do.


i used to be sad but I could still be happy if something good happened, but now i can't feel happy that much. yesterday I got a debating or smth award and it's like o, k, I don't deserve this at all give it to someone else.

I don't know.

really though don't think like that
I know i'm being a hypocrite but seriously don't feel the sad
feel the happy, think of the memories you cherish, go out and do stuff
feel better okay
*huggles*
*hands cookie*

have you seen my poetry?
are you kidding me?
If you suck at poetry then i'm pathetic
please don't leave
if you want to really badly, then I can understand
but don't leave please

Thanks dear (:
I just had an all time crappy day and I just want to scream at a couple of my friends.

Edit: thought I quoted this but apparently it didn't quote

everyone has those times, right?
it'll get better soon.
trust me.

Thanks (:

(you don't have to read this, it's basically just a recap on my day and I need to get it off of my chest because it helps to collect my thoughts. Btw, I'm aware this is probably going to sound really stupid but whatever)

So yesterday I had an amazing day. I've been talking to this kid...we'll call him G. G is a foreign exchange kid. Anyways, we've been talking on Facebook and he's really cool and as you can probably tell, I like him.

G was in my study hall. Was. Note the past-tense. Anyways, I was going to talk to him face to face after study hall, because we usually have a few free minutes before the bell rings. (note that this is my ONLY class with him.)

Well yesterday I was going to talk to him. But then he left early, and he had to go to the office. I wasn't upset; I just would talk to him tomorrow (so today) But he wasn't there again.

I went to my locker feeling disappointed. (Quick backstory: I have two friends, let's call them T and A. I usually walk around with them at the end of the day)

Anyways, T and A came to my locker to get me so we could walk around. And they started to talk about how a new kid was in their last period history class. Can you guess who this new kid who had transferred last periods was? Yes! It was G. Apparently he was having troubles with a class, and so he dropped out of the said class (it was a language class) and his schedule got rearranged.

Of course I was upset. I never got to talk to him face to face at all. We'd been talking completely over Facebook. But I mean, if you're having troubles in a class, that's fine.

BUT THEN T and A kept going on and on about him. They both knew I'd been talking to him and that I liked him. But now BOTH of them like him too. They just kept talking about him saying things like this: he's so hot, he improved my focus in Social Studies, did you see him looking at me when I answered that question, he has such a deep voice, Rachel, will you tell me his last name so I can friend him on Facebook? I'm going to talk to him and friend him on Facebook, we're the luckiest girls on the planet right now and oh HAHAHAHA sucks to be you Rachel, but since you liked the foreign exchange student last year, I get to like the one this year and there is NOTHING you can do about it.

I was honestly so close to just being like f*** you and walking away.

So now I'll never get to talk to him face-to-face. And on top of that, I messaged him today. Usually he messages back pretty fast, but it says he's seen the message and then he waited like 15-30 minutes to reply. I'm aware he could be busy, but it's still another blow to the already crappy day.

I came home. And I went upstairs, shut myself in a room, and cried for about an hour. This stuff always happens to me. I always lose friends, I always get replaced by someone. Everyone thinks they can walk over me like a f***ing doormat, and I'm sick and tired of it. I don't want them to think this is okay, because in case you haven't noticed, I'm a really jealous person. I know that sounds dumb and childish of me, but it just really ticked me off that they kept rubbing it in my face when they knew I liked him first. My other friend, M, who is also in last period SS class with them and G was like "yeah, he's cute, but I know you like him and I respect that." T and A don't understand that.

And God, I have lunch with T and A tomorrow and I don't think I can stand another half hour of that, plus the fact that I'm really pi**ed off at them. I kind of just want to sit somewhere else, but of course I don't have any other friends in that lunch.

Maybe this is an indicator that I should leave America, settle somewhere foreign, and never come back. (Side note: I could actually probably do the whole foreign exchange if I wanted to/if I studied hard enough at a language...and since I don't have many friends in America, (like I literally have 2 friends that I completely trust) maybe I should just leave.)

It was just a really crappy day.

seriously, Maggie will tell you how hot he is, she's seen a picture of him
 

I feel like shit.
For those of you that remember, I have a gargantuan crush like thing on a guy in my grade, and here on KP, he goes by Perfect Specimen.
The story basically is this. This dude comes in to my tech ed. class on the first day of middle school (last school year) and I thought he was majorly hot. So for maybe 2-2.5 months, I only saw him in tech ed. and never talked to him. As time went on I started to appreciate him more and more as he was bullied because he was different. He was bullied for things like clothing that he wore and dancing and singing (like a FRICKING ANGEL MIND YOU) and stuff. And then I found his facebook and the obsession reached new heights because he liked Doctor Who and stuff. So eventually we started talking a little bit about Doctor Who, but were never really what you'd call 'friends'. We kinda started talking more and there was also that one time when we sat elbow to elbow in the hallway reading because he saw me reading alone and plopped himself down next to me so we could be "reading buddies". The story goes on and on in this direction (including the fact that up until the last day of school he called me bestie which i called him too eventually). By the end of the year, their never really was a conclusion or anything. On the last day of school, we both signed each other's yearbooks each as "bestie" and then didn't say anything else. I didn't have the guts to write my number and tell him to text me like I wanted to.
Today, the second day of 6th grade, I was informed he is now cyber schooled. Chances are I'll never see him again.
I'm mad at myself for never going for it. For not giving him my number or at least really talking to him. Really making an effort. In a way it's sort of a relief, because I don't always have to worry about kicking myself every time I don't take the chance to talk him when I'm given it, but now I just wish I had in the past.
I'm sorry if this didn't make any sense, but it's not like anyone's going to read let alone reply to this, so whatever.
And sorry if it was too long, but if you're looking for a shortened version, this is the shortened version.
I just needed to vent.