I hit a wall like three years ago. And I think possibly, maybe, finally I'm starting to see cracks?

Ok so I really love kp and I'm kind of addicted to it but idk if it's the best thing for me right now because there's so much sad stuff and I'm kind of recovering from a bad place and reading this stuff is pulling me back into that.
Idk I might have to force myself to leave.
I'm literally addicted though so idk.
I'll probably visit a lot if I do decide to leave. I think I just need to get to a better place though because honestly my mood is so fragile right now. I started to read something and I had to stop just because my heart felt like it was breaking again and I felt like I have for the past few months and idk.
Bah idk just thinking out loud I guess.

tbh I just really love everyone in my life a lot and I want to be there for them and love them and help them in any way that I can, but 90% of the time the people I love have problems that I can't even HELP A LITTLE BIT and that absolutely KILLS ME. And, on the other hand, I'm also perpetually terrified that me trying to be supportive and caring is coming across too clingy and obsessive or that I'm annoying them.

.-. (*lies on the floor*) I...just want everybody to be happy...and I want to be able to love them without having to hold back because of my own stupid paranoia.....okay? Is that so much to ask?

I also want to fix all of their problems instantly because they don't deserve to be in so much pain...but...that's not very realistic, is it? (*sighs*)

also I'm apparently a genuine INFJ and an HSP so I am apparently doomed to these relentless complex emotions ugh

you've never seemed clingy to me, you've always just been really sweet + supportive to everyone and that's a really good quality cc:

but yeah I feel the same way :/

sad bc old friend n nostalgia and shit
when I see him again next weekend part of me wants to like trip or something and land on the floor and see if he asks if I'm alright so I can go "haha I'm fine, just like I've been for the last two and a half years"

on another note

"once you look up to someone, you can't overtake them"

1. oops
2. feels
3. problems

How to explain to your friend that no you don't really want to go to a swimming pool party because parties scare you and so does swimming

ajkjskahakjha, that means a lot, thank you!!!! ;w;

also by the way, hey Maggie!!! How've you been?

having both depression and anxiety is really really freaking weird and confusing. ._.

i'm so scared i have like eight people coming over today to film and it's going to be crazy and there's things i need to do but i need to drink my ginger tea so i can eat and ahhh send help