1) you are worth it

2) never feel bad for talking to us. it's ok. as long as you try it's ok. and yes you are stuck but you are going to make it out

3) you are worth it

4) they will help you. they will help you out of the darkness, ok? they will help you be ok. they will not pity you. they will be heartbroken to see that an amazing person such as yourself is trapped in this horrible mindset. and they will help you out. it's not important how much you tell them. just that you tell someone.

5) YOU ARE WORTH IT. do not forget it. i will not stop saying it. you deserve to be alive and you deserve help and you deserve to make it out. you are worth it.

6) things would be different if you told. but it would be better. i promise you that it would be better. it would be better because there would be someone to help you when we can't. my greatest, deepest fear, stormy, is that one day you are going to need someone to talk to or you'll be in trouble and we can't help you. please please tell someone.

7) you will always be worth it. you have always been worth it.

8) please listen. please tell someone. just write a note and slip it under the door of someone that you trust. it doesn't have to be long. it just has to say what you're going through and it has to be signed so that they can help. please, please let them help. what devastates me is that we can't really help you. like you said we can encourage you and plead for you to ask someone but we can't help you get away from this. that's up to you. you have to tell someone.

9) you are worth it. i'm going to keep saying it, ok? because it's true.

10) please just tell someone. if you hate that you did, scream at us. tell us how we messed everything up. blame us. you can say i told you so. but just tell someone. that's all that matters right now. that's your first step out of the darkness. please take it. take the first step and we can go from there.

11) you are worth taking the step. you are worth it. you are worthy. you deserve to get out. you are worth helping and you are worthy of life. you are worth it.

i cant do it

that's ok. please try though. aim to do it by the end of this week. humor me. please just try.

First off, I'm sure that it was 100% NOT YOUR FAUKTthat your mom died. You're a wonderful person and an amazing friend and there's no way for that to be true. I understand you feeling guilty, but it was not your fault. Also, don't ever feel bad for talking to us, ok? There's no need to apologize, I promise. I don't want to echo what everyone else is saying, but I want you to get help from someone who can affect your life in the real world, and I know that you can. Also, know that you can call me or FaceTime me any time if you need to.

no no, listen to me, listen, precious human.
ok your demons aren't shit if you don't let them be shit ok
it sounds ridiculous, i know, and impossible because they're demons, right? you can't just not let a demon screw you up, it's not like they give you a chance to frigging breathe. but you gotta fight them. fight them, like, five minutes at a time. ok? take out a sewing needle (a metaphorical sewing needle, a minor goal, like, set a goal to organize your bookshelf) and poke them in the eye with it, if that makes any sense.
you might be a shitty person, but fuck, so are the rest of us.
in the words of Blue, from Girl In Pieces, "Don't let the cereal eat you."
the cereal represents your demons. you are the eater of the cereal. you control the cereal. do not let the cereal eat you.
ok, you got this, precious human, you can beat your demons.
plus, hey, you have KP to rely on. :)

listen to me very carefully. you did not kill your mother. you are not a bad person. you will tell yourself that this is not your fault, okay? we can never know why people kill themselves. it was one hundred percent not your fault. trust me. i promise you. and you will defeat your demons someday. just hold on a little longer. things will get so much better, darling.

buddy, you're hurting enough. you don't need to hurt anymore. you don't need to do anything to yourself.

if you tell them, that's a step to helping yourself. that's something you have accomplished. look, one demon down. lots more to go, but it's a start. how do you know if you don't try? they won't give you pity if you straight-up tell them that's not going to help you. because people want to help you. your family wants to help you. they don't want to lose you the way they lost your mother. i know you're scared, and that's perfectly okay and completely normal, all right? but at one point, you have to try. ultimately, it's up to you, and you can do it. stop saying you can't. stop saying you aren't worth it, because i love you to pieces. i've been here for a while, and i can honestly say you are worth it, precious baby. don't feel horrible for posting here, okay? trying to get help is a good thing. you're doing great so far. i'm proud of you.