can november give me a break ive wanted to die like this entire month

maybe december will be better

when youre been depressed and lose track of time and forget that its already december 3rd

can december give me a break ive wanted to die for the past three days and november


but thanks

it's happening again. i'm sad but with no concentrated reason. i'm just sad. it all just seems useless.

reasons why i feel this way:
1. the stupid test to get into school. i got like 99% on the first test, but that wasn't timed. and i'm doing so badly on math when practicing. and i'm bad with time limits.

why do i even care? either way, i'm guaranteed to get in a top three school (if i do well on the reading, which i always do). but i want to get in the top one, because... why. i don't even know. because if i don't i'll be the only one in my family not to? because if i don't then i'll have to decide if i should try and get admitted in a different, more difficult way? because i want to prove the stupid boys at school wrong? because i am smart and i can get into any school they can get into. i think i got the highest score of our school on the first test, but i don't think they'd believe me if i told them. they'd think it's for attention.

2. i never see my bff anymore. we're only in spanish together, and nothing else. we take the train home together on fridays and then hang out, but that's it. she has apparently promised to share a memory with my other closest friend for graduation. i thought we were. apparently we don't have a memory from our seven years of friendship worthy of sharing.

i've been dreaming of sharing a memory with her since 3rd grade. it'd be fine if i could share one with my other closest friend, but i can't. i don't know what i'm going to do.

sometimes i feel like my friendship with my bff is disappearing. we still go to the same school, but we probably won't next year. if we can't stay super close through one wall, how can we stay close with the city between us?

3. everything is useless
4. i'm awkward around everyone
5. my sister's life is worse
6. my other sister's life has been worse
7. i'm not pretty. i don't even have a good pair of jeans.
8. i'm messy
9. i'm complaining about stupid problems
10. i don't know what's in my future
11. i lose important things
12. i can't give 100% on everything without giving myself away, and if i don't give 100% on everything i'm a slacker
13. no one here wants to hear me whine, but this is the only place i can
14. i have a good life, but i feel this way. it's not like i even feel this way all the time. it's like once every two weeks. and it sucks.

email me if you need math help

hey i know how you feel. life just kinda sucks rn, huh? i get that. but you know what? it's gonna get better, okay?

also, those boys are idiots. i know you are extremely smart. tbh i haven't read many of the things you've written (im so sorry i should get on that) but from the stuff i have read, i know you're a great writer. and those boys, no matter what their tests say, aren't smart at all if they're saying these things to you. i'm so sorry you have to deal with that, just remember we all love you, okay? <3
this is totally relatable though. especially #7 lol ;)
WAIT I'VE SEEN PICS OF YOU THOUGH!! ON THE SELFIE THREAD!! what are you talking about my friend you are so cute ily :)
and for #9 and #13... (i gotta go so ima make this quick) that's what this thread is for. i don't mind listening to your fully valid complaints, it's okay panda. we get it. i'm here for you :)

edit: oh yeah, same as meera said, i can help you with math too if you if you need it!!

My mom has this friend and her daughter who is this amazing girl hurt her back and, cutting a very long story short, there is a chance she has leukemia and i'm about to just jump out the window she's such a nice beautiful girl she doesn't deserve this i love her there's no way she has leukemia i can't take the fact that this friend of mine is suffering she's so amazing what did she ever do to deserve this

@meera and @lydia

both of you are lovely thank you. idk. gilmore girls is cheering me up, so that's good.

ah, gilmore girls? which one are you on?

only like the first season episode 9 but still haha