so im gonna go to the doctors tmr to get my stuff ready for uni so I can get support for my aspergers and deal w things.
guess!!! who is!!! anxious!!!

I need to get things in order tho so I can hopefully get some anxiety medication and another assessment before uni

im cri

is this something that's already happened or are you still contemplating?

i'm so irresponsible i lose everything that matters i just lost my wallet again and i know its in the house but i have no idea where and every place i check is a dead end and it had some 60 dollars i earned in it and my debit card and ventra and ughh i hate this part of myself.

i just feel so useless and like a child and how the hell am i gonna be able to do this when i don't live at home?? like everything, EVERYTHING in my life is in piles. everything is put off. i can't use my desk because its stacked with things people put on it because i have no space to put it away, my room has things along the wall and some 20 books stacked on the little bedside table and i'm fucking tired of it but i don't have time to fix it??? we moved here in june and still, my room is barren. i put off decorating it because its not important, its not vital. i don't even have fucking curtains. i have to change in the bathroom or with my back to the fucking window and i just????

and i want to fix it, i really do, but when? every night is basketball/sport/babysitting and then homework and collapsing on my bed and weekends are for keeping my family and friends happy and homework and the moments i have to myself i'm too tired and i have to read or do something to relax myself and usually i do this kind of thing on breaks or whatever but both of my breaks this year we're not home and i don't know what to do??? i can't live like this until summer. it makes me feel worthless and childish and like i can't do anything and it doesn't feel like fucking home and i don't know what to do???

i'm just so miserable in my own house and i want to fix it but i'm unable to and i just.... idk what to do.

also i've had a cold for like a week or two and i keep thinking i should stay home from school to get better but theres just so much crap to do? i think i'm gonna stay home tomorrow but that just means a day of doing homework in bed yay

and i have a fucking migraine and i can't move without wanting to kill someone but i have these two assignments due tomorrow and a math test (idk maybe i'll go to school? theres just so much to do) and this big comic assignment and as soon as we're done BOOM something else. its not even worth it staying home because everything will just be due thursday and i won't have time to fucking heal i'll just do my motherfucking homework and ughaguiha;vghas;gvha

already happened whoops

auditions tomorrow. if i don't win this could literally mean the end of my world.

hey you're going to do just fine. You're such a good musician and I know you're going to do great. And even if you don't, I know you're going to be super hard on yourself but try not to be? Give yourself a bit of time then get back to practicing and trying again. It's going to be fine.

my instrument is barely functional and my hands are aching but thanks

trying not to be that asshole who pretends to understand, but legit you just described my life last year,,

ok first of all you are not useless, and you're not a child, and plenty of adults in every level of society have piles somewhere.

And honestly, if you need time to get on top of things then explain that to your friends and family. In all likelihood they'll be understanding about you not devoting time to them for a weekend or two.