The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

MaryElizabeth 03-27-2013 07:06 PM

A girl claimed that she was depressed yesterday. She laughed a lot that day and smiled aimlessly. That's not what depression looks like. I know. When you're depressed, you're reclusive, exhausted, paranoid, anxious. I haven't gone into a deep spiral, but I think I have reached depression, even if for a short while. I didn't scratch the back of my neck for no reason. I didn't have those thoughts about my own funeral for fun. I just felt hurt when she said that. Offended. It just seemed disrespectful, to say that you're depressed for no apparent reason. Maybe things are bad in her home, but it doesn't sound logical; she's a part of the upper middle class, she only has one brother--I can't see what would've allegedly brought her down. I know I shouldn't be judgmental, but most people wouldn't necessarily think of me last if they were told that there was someone going through depression in the grade: most people know I have a large family with a brother in college; people know we're not rich; people know that I've missed various days of school that my mom calls "Mental Health" days; people know that I know that they hate me; people know that I don't like the way most of my peers act; I'm not looking for a pity party. I just don't appreciate her undermining depression.

Lily09 03-27-2013 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 444920)
A girl claimed that she was depressed yesterday. She laughed a lot that day and smiled aimlessly. That's not what depression looks like. I know. When you're depressed, you're reclusive, exhausted, paranoid, anxious. I haven't gone into a deep spiral, but I think I have reached depression, even if for a short while. I didn't scratch the back of my neck for no reason. I didn't have those thoughts about my own funeral for fun. I just felt hurt when she said that. Offended. It just seemed disrespectful, to say that you're depressed for no apparent reason. Maybe things are bad in her home, but it doesn't sound logical; she's a part of the upper middle class, she only has one brother--I can't see what would've allegedly brought her down. I know I shouldn't be judgmental, but most people wouldn't necessarily think of me last if they were told that there was someone going through depression in the grade: most people know I have a large family with a brother in college; people know we're not rich; people know that I've missed various days of school that my mom calls "Mental Health" days; people know that I know that they hate me; people know that I don't like the way most of my peers act; I'm not looking for a pity party. I just don't appreciate her undermining depression.

But people at my school wouldn't believe me that I self harm and I'm suicidal because I smile and laugh a lot, just to cover it up. And depression doesn't always have to have a reason. Sometimes, it doesn't need a reason, or it's just genetic.

MaryElizabeth 03-27-2013 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 444934)
But people at my school wouldn't believe me that I self harm and I'm suicidal because I smile and laugh a lot, just to cover it up. And depression doesn't always have to have a reason. Sometimes, it doesn't need a reason, or it's just genetic.

Sorry if I sounded arrogant. Her "I'm depressed," sounded insincere. I just didn't like the way things were playing out. Thanks for helping.

L.S.Trendom 03-27-2013 08:53 PM

i'm so sorry i wish i could help i'm so sorry i mess up everything i miss you i still can't really believe it i'm sorry

maxi 03-27-2013 08:58 PM

Guise. For you:

I'm safe
Up high
No - one can touch me
Why do I feel this party's over?

Lily09 03-27-2013 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 444952)
i'm so sorry i wish i could help i'm so sorry i mess up everything i miss you i still can't really believe it i'm sorry

is this about her post that I was reblogging?
*huggles* you don't mess everything up.

L.S.Trendom 03-27-2013 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 444954)
is this about her post that I was reblogging?
*huggles* you don't mess everything up.

that's what started/restarted itů not that it's at all your fault, or that you should refrain from doing so in the future.

Sandy 03-27-2013 10:02 PM

Hi.
Sorry, EVT... Every night, almost as if on a schedule, I get like this at ten pm, New York time. Every night. I can honestly rely on this feeling to let me know when it's ten o'clock because I'll get so down on myself and it doesn't go away until it passes in about two hours, or until I vent it out.
So here goes.
No one has to reply to this. This is just a vent, and really has no other function.
fat fat fat fat fat... fat. ugy. gross. fugly. you can't dress worth crap, sandy... you let your hair grow too long and your bangs look like crap. your face is fat and you'll never have curves--fat. fat fat fat fat fat.

the worst part is that you know no matter how much you work out
how little you eat
how much you weigh
you'll always be fat
you'll never get rid of this feeling of worthlessness

fat Sandy, fat Sandy, fat Sandy who only weighs 135 lbs and knows that she's really not that fat. that it's not really that bad. that people aren't what they look like; that sandy is not her fat. she is not her diet plan, she is not her exercise regime, she is not her clothing or her weight.

she is her anxiety, she is her insecurity, she is her false narcissism and every fear for the future and every regret from her past. she can be anything, but she is not her weight.
she knows this.
but this doesn't stop me from treating myself like a number or a percentage


I feel a little bit better... I guess.

LaurenM 03-27-2013 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 444920)
A girl claimed that she was depressed yesterday. She laughed a lot that day and smiled aimlessly. That's not what depression looks like. I know. When you're depressed, you're reclusive, exhausted, paranoid, anxious. I haven't gone into a deep spiral, but I think I have reached depression, even if for a short while. I didn't scratch the back of my neck for no reason. I didn't have those thoughts about my own funeral for fun. I just felt hurt when she said that. Offended. It just seemed disrespectful, to say that you're depressed for no apparent reason. Maybe things are bad in her home, but it doesn't sound logical; she's a part of the upper middle class, she only has one brother--I can't see what would've allegedly brought her down. I know I shouldn't be judgmental, but most people wouldn't necessarily think of me last if they were told that there was someone going through depression in the grade: most people know I have a large family with a brother in college; people know we're not rich; people know that I've missed various days of school that my mom calls "Mental Health" days; people know that I know that they hate me; people know that I don't like the way most of my peers act; I'm not looking for a pity party. I just don't appreciate her undermining depression.

My classmate E said she was depressed and cut herself once. I think she though she was depressed for a short moment. Because she apparently doesn't have any friends.
She does.
But about the family thing: it's not just big families who have problems. I'm middle class and am a single child, but my parents used to argue every night and say they'd divorce. Sometimes they smash things, particularly my dad. Now, things are more subdued, but I don't know...
Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 444953)
Guise. For you:

I'm safe
Up high
No - one can touch me
Why do I feel this party's over?

SOBERRRRRR.

maxi 03-27-2013 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 444964)
Hi.
Sorry, EVT... Every night, almost as if on a schedule, I get like this at ten pm, New York time. Every night. I can honestly rely on this feeling to let me know when it's ten o'clock because I'll get so down on myself and it doesn't go away until it passes in about two hours, or until I vent it out.
So here goes.
No one has to reply to this. This is just a vent, and really has no other function.
fat fat fat fat fat... fat. ugy. gross. fugly. you can't dress worth crap, sandy... you let your hair grow too long and your bangs look like crap. your face is fat and you'll never have curves--fat. fat fat fat fat fat.

the worst part is that you know no matter how much you work out
how little you eat
how much you weigh
you'll always be fat
you'll never get rid of this feeling of worthlessness

fat Sandy, fat Sandy, fat Sandy who only weighs 135 lbs and knows that she's really not that fat. that it's not really that bad. that people aren't what they look like; that sandy is not her fat. she is not her diet plan, she is not her exercise regime, she is not her clothing or her weight.

she is her anxiety, she is her insecurity, she is her false narcissism and every fear for the future and every regret from her past. she can be anything, but she is not her weight.
she knows this.
but this doesn't stop me from treating myself like a number or a percentage


I feel a little bit better... I guess.

Ugh... *hugs* You're an amazing person, Sandy.


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