The Writer's Block

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GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:20 AM

Hi .

L.S.Trendom 02-19-2012 12:22 AM

Gabi: I'm sorry… :(

At least you'll know what the test is like, better. You said you had extra time but didn't go back to check your answers, so there's that too.

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:23 AM

It's okay. I know he wants to help.

It's like, you tell him and he's like, "Okay, but remember God will ALWAYS be with you when you lift yourself from the dark of ignorance. :)"

-.-

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:23 AM

I think... you're allowed to believe whatever you want. Just so long as you're happy with it. Are you?

But, if, when I have kids, they grow up and tell me they don't believe in God, I would take it as a presonal failure. Not because of them not believing what I believe, but because that would mean that I had failed to show my kids how much God loves them. Failed to instill that same love for Him, in them.

Just because that's how I want my kids raised. But don't worry, Panda, it doesn't make a difference to me, if that's what you believe. I love you.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:24 AM

Yeah. That was on the math test. Bleh.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:24 AM

I should try to pass Keegan before I go to bed..

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:25 AM

How can you see into my eyes
Like open doors?

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:25 AM

I'm not happy with it. I want to believe in it. I want something to believe in. And I've tried... but I don't. Maybe one day, I'll think about it and return to it. But not now.

That's okay. (: I'm happy that you have something to believe in and that you'd be such a good mom... I really don't know any atheists, I mean besides Ruza or anyone off of KP, so I'm not sure how this is going to work. Haha.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:25 AM

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

L.S.Trendom 02-19-2012 12:26 AM

On math? o_o Howwwww?

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:28 AM

I don't know that I'll be a good mom.. it scares me. I don't want to mess up. Because I can't be a better mom than I am a person in general.

I know a lot of athiests from camp :/ It.. makes me sad for them. I know that sounds bad.. I would never puch them (I make it a point not to..), but it does. It makes me want to cry. And knowing there's no way I can help..

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:29 AM

How.. how what? o_0

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:30 AM

All that's missing, IS THE COLOSEUM.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:30 AM

Meh. My future scares me. I'm so afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of screwing up my kids' lives. Afraid of never doing anything right.

L.S.Trendom 02-19-2012 12:30 AM

i think you'd be a great mom.

Finished it with extra time. :P I think I ran out and started filling bubbles randomly halfway through the questions.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:31 AM

What is your worst fear..?

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:31 AM

Me as a mom. The concept is laughable.

Believe me, it makes me cry too... Spent the last hour crying while my dad considered himself a failure for me being ignorant and joining a crowd of apparently stupid people. 8^|

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:32 AM

I really, really hope so... But I don't know.

Oh. I rushed through it >.> And got a not-so-good score. Finished half an hour early. *head desk*

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmalyce (Post 251754)
What is your worst fear..?

Failing my parents. They think MCR is bad for me because it's glorifying suicide. They think me being how I am - an introvert - is like a birth defect, something I have to struggle to overcome.

Dying with nothing to show for it.

Having a kid and saying to him, "Life's not fair. Deal with it."

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:33 AM

Nothing is forcing you to believe one way or another, Gabi. It's up to you. If you don't want to believe nothing, don't.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:34 AM

Glorifying suicide..?

My biggest fear.. is kind of ridiculous >.>

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:35 AM

Dying with nothing to show for it.. that scares me, too. I need to leave something behind.. but at the same time, I wonder if it would be best to leave nothing behind. Who would want to remember me?

L.S.Trendom 02-19-2012 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmalyce (Post 251752)
Meh. My future scares me. I'm so afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of screwing up my kids' lives. Afraid of never doing anything right.

You'll always do something right, even if it's not big.

Still better than me. :P

Mine is probably something like… never making a difference, living a pointless and empty life with no one that cares.

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:36 AM

Yeah. Apparently any song that speaks of suicide is glorifying suicide. I wanted to tell them Gerard was a reformed suicidal... that he'd saved kids lives...

What is it...? I doubt that it's ridiculous. Another big one of mine is ever telling a child that the music they listen to is crap and one day when they learn better they'll like other things. Such as Mozart.

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmalyce (Post 251761)
Dying with nothing to show for it.. that scares me, too. I need to leave something behind.. but at the same time, I wonder if it would be best to leave nothing behind. Who would want to remember me?

It's like Hitler. Everyone will always remember him as a genocidal maniac. But at least they remember him.

I don't want to be a genocidal maniac. But I don't want to be forgotten even as I live.

L.S.Trendom 02-19-2012 12:40 AM

I'm ahead of Jack now…

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:40 AM

My biggest fear?

...not being able to have children. That scares me. Even the remote possibility. I will always be afraid, until I know...

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:41 AM

That's not ridiculous at all... you can always adopt, though...

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:42 AM

Another big fear, would be losing my faith... my want to please God is the only thing that stands in my way of.. Of a lot of things.

Like wanting to die. Really, really wanting it. Enough to make it happen.

If there is no God, then I have nothing to live for. And if I ever stop believing that He is there...

I'm afraid.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:44 AM

Believe me, if anything got in the way of me having my own kids, I would adopt.

But it's stil not the same. It's not like holding a part of you.. you know?

And.. meh. This might not work out, but.. I really want to have foster kids, when I am settled into my own life. Love them. Spoil them. Teach them values. Show them that they're loved.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:45 AM

Meh. Scabs. Itchy >.>

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:46 AM

56 posts...

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:46 AM

All of my family is in the other room, hanging out. XP

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:47 AM

Mom says we don't have to go get sap tomorrow.

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:48 AM

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone..

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:48 AM

Though you're still with me...

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:49 AM

I've been alone all along...

L.S.Trendom 02-19-2012 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmalyce (Post 251774)
Another big fear, would be losing my faith... my want to please God is the only thing that stands in my way of.. Of a lot of things.

Like wanting to die. Really, really wanting it. Enough to make it happen.

If there is no God, then I have nothing to live for. And if I ever stop believing that He is there...

I'm afraid.

Emma… D'X

Emmalyce 02-19-2012 12:54 AM

I still have my faith, LST. As long as I have that, don't worry about me.

It's the people that try to take that away from me.. Meh.

GabiDi 02-19-2012 12:57 AM

I'm sorry. I hope you know I wasn't at all trying to take away yours...


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