Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 394919)

So yesterday, I read this story.
And I'm not going to really disclose anything about it but a few details that are important to this rant.
Just telling you now.
You don't get the name, the author, nothing.

Let the rant begin.

There was once a story about... well, about someone dying. Someone who was fragile, breakable, and who hated himself...
He had, of course, his reasons, happenstances, to explain why this was.
But those aside, he was like me.
I don't have a reason or an excuse this time.
I am fragile, breakable.
I am awash in self-hatred.
I want nothing more than for someone to love and accept me--ALL of me.
And no, I'm not giving any reasons.
I am how I am.
In the story, told from the dying person's lover's POV, the lover said she knew that she loved and accepted and cared for the man.
But it wouldn't be the same till the man loved, accepted, and cared for himself.
...
So I'm trying this again.
I'm going to try to love myself, because, until my lover comes along, no one CAN really love me.
Except me.
I'm going to start over.
Maybe I've been looking at this the wrong way.
Instead of beating myself down when I get into a whiny bitch mode, I'm going to say, 'Well, that was stupid. Let's not say/do that again.' And I'm going to try to not say/do that.
...
Truth be told?
I don't really know what I'm doing.
But I know I'm trying.
I know that counts for something, even if this turns out to be the completely wrong thing to do.
Oh, well, whatever works.

And I'll see.

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 394919)

So yesterday, I read this story.
And I'm not going to really disclose anything about it but a few details that are important to this rant.
Just telling you now.
You don't get the name, the author, nothing.

Let the rant begin.

There was once a story about... well, about someone dying. Someone who was fragile, breakable, and who hated himself...
He had, of course, his reasons, happenstances, to explain why this was.
But those aside, he was like me.
I don't have a reason or an excuse this time.
I am fragile, breakable.
I am awash in self-hatred.
I want nothing more than for someone to love and accept me--ALL of me.
And no, I'm not giving any reasons.
I am how I am.
In the story, told from the dying person's lover's POV, the lover said she knew that she loved and accepted and cared for the man.
But it wouldn't be the same till the man loved, accepted, and cared for himself.
...
So I'm trying this again.
I'm going to try to love myself, because, until my lover comes along, no one CAN really love me.
Except me.
I'm going to start over.
Maybe I've been looking at this the wrong way.
Instead of beating myself down when I get into a whiny bitch mode, I'm going to say, 'Well, that was stupid. Let's not say/do that again.' And I'm going to try to not say/do that.
...
Truth be told?
I don't really know what I'm doing.
But I know I'm trying.
I know that counts for something, even if this turns out to be the completely wrong thing to do.
Oh, well, whatever works.

And I'll see.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 394939)

*is really really glad you're trying*
you shouldn't hate yourself because one shouldn't hate awesomeness

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 394949)

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs2/1091254_o.gif (imagine it to be a glomp and more loving)
YOU DID IT! I love it so much! That is what you should be doing. That will help you feel better, and be happier, and I know you'll feel better about yourself! XD

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 395111)

But like. Parents.
Are you intentionally trying to screw this up for me?
Lecturing me about all my opportuuuuuuuunities in hiiiiiiiiiigh schooooool is not going to f---ing heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelpppp meeeeeeeeee.
Jeesh.
I'll do what I want to do, thank you very much.
And if that's including not applying for the high school program I don't f---ing want to apply to, I'm not applying.
Goddammit, you both are infuriating.

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 395277)

And my parents are already talking about colleges.

If they try to make me go to Notre Dame, I will kill them.

I'll either go to Oxford or a tiny writing college on the Northwest Pacific coast.

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 395281)

OH MY GOD, same. They're all like-- "but how eeeeeeeeevah will you get into the college of yo muthafkkin dreaaaaaaaaaaams unless you DO EXACTLY WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IN TERMS OF HIGH SCHOOL MAGNET PROGRAMS FOR THE REST OF YOUR FKKIN TEENAGE LIFE."

And I'm just like, "i don't even care stfu"

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 395282)

How else would you get into the college of their dreams? :rolleyes:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 395325)

is there anyway that i can't feel lost.
vague how i want it.