The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

AlgebraAddict 04-08-2013 01:12 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...RPmzQzoYs&NR=1

^pretty much how I feel right now.


except there's no we involved

LaurenM 04-08-2013 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 448481)
she's not that bad, i mean, she's just trying to help. just like every other fucking person in my life who's not a) you or b) online: trying to help, and failing, and I CAN'T TELL THEM THAT THEY FUCKING SUCK AT HELPING ME because they're not gonna back off anyways.

they most certainly fucking can.
but i don't matter as much. besides, killing myself is a dandy option considering that it's the only way my parents would ever get their heads out of their asses about me being 'perfect.' they don't realize that whenever they tell me how beautiful and perfect i am, they're literally just raising the metaphoric bar even higher. i am not allowed to think myself ugly. i am not allowed to get bad grades. i am not allowed to hate myself. i am not allowed to be anything less than perfect. the problem is, i AM.


doesn't it.

No one is perfect. It's completely impossible. And there's no solid definition of perfection; it's all opinions. So it's perfectly fine that you're imperfect.

BearWithAStrawberry 04-08-2013 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 448572)
No one is perfect. It's completely impossible. And there's no solid definition of perfection; it's all opinions. So it's perfectly fine that you're imperfect.

but isnt perfection something we all want??
well, at the least, i do.

soph-soph27 04-08-2013 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 448481)
she's not that bad, i mean, she's just trying to help. just like every other fucking person in my life who's not a) you or b) online: trying to help, and failing, and I CAN'T TELL THEM THAT THEY FUCKING SUCK AT HELPING ME because they're not gonna back off anyways.

they most certainly fucking can.
but i don't matter as much. besides, killing myself is a dandy option considering that it's the only way my parents would ever get their heads out of their asses about me being 'perfect.' they don't realize that whenever they tell me how beautiful and perfect i am, they're literally just raising the metaphoric bar even higher. i am not allowed to think myself ugly. i am not allowed to get bad grades. i am not allowed to hate myself. i am not allowed to be anything less than perfect. the problem is, i AM.


doesn't it.

I'm glad I'm "a". "She's your associate now. I don't have any friends, just associates." Stupidest thing ever.

LaurenM 04-08-2013 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 448634)
but isnt perfection something we all want??
well, at the least, i do.

But that's completely impossible.

cheezemziez 04-08-2013 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 448481)
she's not that bad, i mean, she's just trying to help. just like every other fucking person in my life who's not a) you or b) online: trying to help, and failing, and I CAN'T TELL THEM THAT THEY FUCKING SUCK AT HELPING ME because they're not gonna back off anyways.

they most certainly fucking can.
but i don't matter as much. besides, killing myself is a dandy option considering that it's the only way my parents would ever get their heads out of their asses about me being 'perfect.' they don't realize that whenever they tell me how beautiful and perfect i am, they're literally just raising the metaphoric bar even higher. i am not allowed to think myself ugly. i am not allowed to get bad grades. i am not allowed to hate myself. i am not allowed to be anything less than perfect. the problem is, i AM.

You don't have to be perfect. Who can be? The people who I define to be as close to perfection as possible are massively flawed. But flaws, however massive or tiny, don't define the person. You're allowed to get bad grades. Of course you are. It doesn't matter as much as your wellbeing. And how on earth would they be able to physically stop you? Grades are really there to check your progress. Not to control it. You can think that you're ugly and hate yourself. You'd be completely wrong, and it's unjustified, but forcing you to think otherwise rather than convincing you isn't going to help. Beauty is subjective. Or, you know, in the eye of the beholder.

Killing yourself wouldn't get your parents' heads out of their asses. And it wouldn't be worth it even if it would.

cheezemziez 04-08-2013 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 448427)
maybe if you had believed me id be more willing to tell you things.
maybe if you had believed me i wouldn't be so scared to tell anyone else i know in person.
because
you know
things like this
happen
to real people.
just because someone doesn't look like the type of person to do something, doesn't mean they didnt do it.
i guess lie to yourself and say 'that doesnt happen' if it keeps you safe.
if it makes you feel better
or normal.
if it makes you feel like im not fucked up beyond suicidal thoughts and self harming.
thanks, by the way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 448428)
and you know, i kind of lied to myself too?
'its all over and ill be fine, it will be okay.'
i even thought to myself
'nothing happened, just a normal summer, okay, lily? nothing.'
but you can't bury memories away forever, you know? they'll eventually come back and hit you hard and
i just want the flashbacks and the nightmares to stop and i just wish, i just wish that i could go away half the time so i wouldnt have to remember anything.

/hugs

You will be fine. You will be better than okay. Some day, you'll get to be happy again and be free of all of them, and just be around people you love and care about and love and care about you.

BearWithAStrawberry 04-08-2013 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 448668)
I feel so useless when reading your posts, guys, because I CAN'T GIVE ADVICE AND I CAN'T HELP asdfghjkl;'

blek. sorry ;-;

me niether.
unless you all want to come to my house.
:)

cheezemziez 04-08-2013 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 448674)
me niether.
unless you all want to come to my house.
:)

That is completely terrifying. I think it's the combination of that sentence and the creeper smiley.

HeatherB 04-08-2013 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 448643)
I'm glad I'm "a". "She's your associate now. I don't have any friends, just associates." Stupidest thing ever.

I know right? It's like, gurl, you don't get it so please stop trying.
Quote:

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 448657)
You don't have to be perfect. Who can be? The people who I define to be as close to perfection as possible are massively flawed. But flaws, however massive or tiny, don't define the person. You're allowed to get bad grades. Of course you are. It doesn't matter as much as your wellbeing. And how on earth would they be able to physically stop you? Grades are really there to check your progress. Not to control it. You can think that you're ugly and hate yourself. You'd be completely wrong, and it's unjustified, but forcing you to think otherwise rather than convincing you isn't going to help. Beauty is subjective. Or, you know, in the eye of the beholder.

Killing yourself wouldn't get your parents' heads out of their asses. And it wouldn't be worth it even if it would.

I understand. I don't believe in perfect. My parents, however, think that I am "the perfect daughter" for them and thus I must live up to their expectations or risk doing what I have essentially been doing all my life--disappointing them. And getting bad grades would certainly disprove their expectations. Honestly, it almost makes me WANT to be worse than I am. To prove them wrong. To do something so drastic, so irresistibly improbably irreversibly imperfect that they can do nothing afterwards but admit how wrong they were about me, how wrong they all were about me, and how fucked up I really am and how imperfectly terrifying and selfish I have been my entire life. It would be worth it.


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