The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Lily09 02-13-2013 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 422946)
SHE JUST
ANYTHING I HAVE
SHE TAKES IT AWAY FROM ME.
MY OBSESSIONS
MY LIKES
SERIOUSLY
METAPHORICALLY OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T LITERALLY STEAL IT

i

?
What happened?

LaurenM 02-13-2013 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 422952)
Oh just this girl COPYING MY EVERY OBSESSION

Like you read a book and she reads the same one?

LaurenM 02-13-2013 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 422957)
Yeah. And if I'm obsessed with a youtuber, so is she:rolleyes:

That is freaky.

HeatherB 02-13-2013 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 422868)
No, Heather. Just no. Don't let this get to you! :( You're not going to die. You hear me? YOU. ARE. NOT. GOING. TO DIE. And I know you really don't want to, deep down. You just want the stress to end. It will end eventually, and you and I both know death is NOT the answer.

Besides, your father is just concerned about you, even if he has a strange way of showing it.

Like Tredom said, you're not going to die. We love you too much to just sit here silently as you go through all this. ;w; Please don't hurt yourself. Please don't let them get to you. You're a beautiful person, Heather, even if you don't see yourself as one. We all can see it. And one of these says, you'll see it, too.

it's really f*cking scary though
because this morning
he was asking me again
and he said
'are you sure that the only reason you're not eating is because you're not hungry?'
and i was so close again
just to breaking
snapping
saying
'no
no i'm not sure
because i'm afraid
and i want to die
and i'm more f*cked up than you or mom knows
or will allow me to be
and i want a therapist
and i want to go to people who will understand
and who will help
and who are professionals
so they'll know
exactly what to do
and i want to cry all the time
and i don't recognize my reflection
do you know who i am?
dad, i've lived with you for 13 years--
you must know--
i don't know anymore--
do i care?--
who am i?'
but then my brain gets offtrack into a les mis song and i shrug and don't respond.
Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 422869)
wow that's close

im scaring myself now
i looked on lots of charts and stuff
im 15 pounds underweight
that cant be right
but it all says it
multiple charts
i'm scared, i don't think I can do this
id excercise
i eat but i'm underweight
wahtthehell can i do?

you see yourself 10% more beautiful in the mirror than you are in real life

i must look like a monster

i must look like a klingon at my very best.
Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 422870)
thank you so so so much *hugs*
:/
I know how that feels, sometimes… we want you to stay out here, though, away from the black. Happy and amazing.

i've been feeling the blackness more and more lately
and it's just starting to look better and better
in comparison
to my actual living life
but then today
we had meeting partners
and i was reminded
that i have to at least wait till high school to kill myself
so that
the teachers don't have to explain to my meeting partner
who is like five or six or so
that the reason heather is no longer is at school
is because she's not anywhere anymore
but underground rotting dead
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 422913)
Yeah, it is, I think so. XD Either him or his brother, Hank.

It's definitely John. Trust me...

HeatherB 02-13-2013 04:40 PM

so i'm eating.
*throws glitter pathetically*

BlueMi 02-13-2013 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 422879)
I do Taekwondo, martial arts class.
I eat starches, and some fruits.
But I'm just scared because
I'm not me anymore
when I take a sort of deep breath while I'm in a tight fitting tank top, I can see the individual ribs and my spine is really defined
and I'm wondering if I shouldn't just accept it

but thank you.

Hey I'll trade with you. Don't be all "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT THIS". I was twenty pounds underweight in 6th grade ok? It's much better than the alternative. I'd kill someone to be skinny again.

moonbeam 02-13-2013 04:54 PM

7301th post on this thread! :D YAY!

BlueMi 02-13-2013 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423016)
it's really f*cking scary though
because this morning
he was asking me again
and he said
'are you sure that the only reason you're not eating is because you're not hungry?'
and i was so close again
just to breaking
snapping
saying
'no
no i'm not sure
because i'm afraid
and i want to die
and i'm more f*cked up than you or mom knows
or will allow me to be
and i want a therapist
and i want to go to people who will understand
and who will help
and who are professionals
so they'll know
exactly what to do
and i want to cry all the time
and i don't recognize my reflection
do you know who i am?
dad, i've lived with you for 13 years--
you must know--
i don't know anymore--
do i care?--
who am i?'
but then my brain gets offtrack into a les mis song and i shrug and don't respond.

i must look like a klingon at my very best.

i've been feeling the blackness more and more lately
and it's just starting to look better and better
in comparison
to my actual living life
but then today
we had meeting partners
and i was reminded
that i have to at least wait till high school to kill myself
so that
the teachers don't have to explain to my meeting partner
who is like five or six or so
that the reason heather is no longer is at school
is because she's not anywhere anymore
but underground rotting dead

It's definitely John. Trust me...

I have so much to say but absolutely no clue how to form words.

cheezemziez 02-13-2013 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 422861)
my dad thinks our family is perfect.

my dad has high expectations, anger issues, and has no idea how to raise children that will grow up to be happy.

my mom is pretty good, no comment.

my brother is 90% like his father.

i want of this family and out of this life.

yes tell me again how perfect this family is again.

/huggles
Screw his 'perfect', then. You just do what is right for you. You have the strength and the intelligence to do that for yourself. He cannot force you to be unhappy, no one can. You can find ways to make yourself happy again. We're here for you. We'll help you any way we can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 422905)
ugh
this was the same song I used to describe my aunt
now this is me

fences-paramore
this is why im scared
because i'm becoming more and more like my aunt that is depressed
and my dad... well, he yells at her for being depressed and says that she's worthless and she's just taking up space and she should die already
and what if i'm still like her when I grow up
imagine how my parents would react
or my brother
wow
okay

Don't be ashamed of who you are, or how you are, because of your family. There is no justifiable reason for him to yell at your aunt, just like there would be no reason for your family to yell at you. If you do get depressed when you're older, then your family should be fully supporting you and helping you through it. If they treat you like that, then they don't deserve to even be near someone as wonderful as you.
"Just because you're blood, it doesn't make you family. You have to earn that." ~Supernatural
Forgive the cliché, but: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ~Bernard Baruch/Dr Seuss/choose what you will.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 422906)
and i want out i want out i dont want to be here anymore i dont want to be in this place, here, this earth anymore.
and im such a fking hypocrite because i tell my friend that self harm is not the solution but i cant help but think of it
and i feel so done about everything and i just want to go already

Please stay strong, Lily. You are better than all of this pain. You are amazing, and I really hate that you're going through this. I have no idea if I can even help, but I am here for you. We are all here for you, and we care about you and we care about what happens to you.

cheezemziez 02-13-2013 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 423018)
so i'm eating.
*throws glitter pathetically*

That's great. In the very least, it's a step in the right direction. You can do this, Heather.


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