Originally Posted by TheMoonWakedWolf (Post 590085)

hey guys. just wanna let y'all know something

when i was a freshman in high school, i was a complete n00btastic boob. like, i was the worst of the worst of the newbies. i was the most cringey. i was cringier than the "smexy elmo" tag. it was bad.

my freshman year, i left my homecoming dance in tears and could barely come to school on monday because some asshole ruined my night. freshman year was when i came home from softball in tears every night and eventually had to go to therapy. freshman year was when i really started to feel i was failing.

sophomore year was when i tried hurting myself once. then twice. i was losing weight, but not in a good way. i hated my body. i hated myself. the therapy wasn't helping.

junior year was when i hurt myself more. and more. and more. i cried during tests and panicked in assemblies. i binged and then purged and then starved and then binged. my friend told me she'd almost killed herself. one time, i tried to overdose just to get out of work. it didn't work. i went anyway. it didn't stop. i hated everything about me.

this year, i'm still pretty anxious and depressed. i'm still fat and still struggling with my body. i still have self-image issues and have to fight self-harm. life is still hard. but you know what? this year, i won homecoming princess. somehow, a near majority of the school looked at the four preppy jocks, the three chorus soloists, and me, the fuckin weirdo in marching band who thought no one really liked her, and said, "yeah, she's cool. i'll vote for her." life may not go your way 100000% of the time, and things will sometimes be a struggle, but you are still loved. when the opportunity comes, you'll be surprised to learn how much.

Originally Posted by TheMoonWakedWolf (Post 590085)

hey guys. just wanna let y'all know something

when i was a freshman in high school, i was a complete n00btastic boob. like, i was the worst of the worst of the newbies. i was the most cringey. i was cringier than the "smexy elmo" tag. it was bad.

my freshman year, i left my homecoming dance in tears and could barely come to school on monday because some asshole ruined my night. freshman year was when i came home from softball in tears every night and eventually had to go to therapy. freshman year was when i really started to feel i was failing.

sophomore year was when i tried hurting myself once. then twice. i was losing weight, but not in a good way. i hated my body. i hated myself. the therapy wasn't helping.

junior year was when i hurt myself more. and more. and more. i cried during tests and panicked in assemblies. i binged and then purged and then starved and then binged. my friend told me she'd almost killed herself. one time, i tried to overdose just to get out of work. it didn't work. i went anyway. it didn't stop. i hated everything about me.

this year, i'm still pretty anxious and depressed. i'm still fat and still struggling with my body. i still have self-image issues and have to fight self-harm. life is still hard. but you know what? this year, i won homecoming princess. somehow, a near majority of the school looked at the four preppy jocks, the three chorus soloists, and me, the fuckin weirdo in marching band who thought no one really liked her, and said, "yeah, she's cool. i'll vote for her." life may not go your way 100000% of the time, and things will sometimes be a struggle, but you are still loved. when the opportunity comes, you'll be surprised to learn how much.

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590077)

ahh Madie. You have no idea. you have no idea how happy you make me feel. no mater what you say you always make me feel better. I love you so much. I might even be dead already without you.

I'm scared. I'm scared at how much twenty one pilots has become a crutch for me. this morning I almost had a fricking panic attack because my dad said that I couldn't have my phone, therefor I couldn't listen to top.

I wIsH i DiDnt hAVe pRoBLemS

i WiSH i CouLDnT reLAte tO ThEiR MUSIc

i wish i were dead

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 590109)

and shtormy, i wish there was a way to show you how much you mean to me - i'd search for a way to show you how much i love you if it would make you stop hurting yourself and make you instantly feel better about all this that's been happening to you

listen, it'll be okay. it's okay to feel that way. depending on a band so much is a beautiful thing, because they will always be there for you. i can't tell you how many times i've let twenty one pilots calm me down when i can't stop crying at night. tyler's voice is home for me, you know? it's so familiar, and what's familiar is soothing to me. your dad can't take your phone away forever. memorize those lyrics and repeat them to yourself. sing them, hum them, rap them to yourself. if you can, buy a CD player and buy vessel/blurryface/self-titled, so you have something to fall back on when you don't have your phone. if it happens again, just tell yourself that you will listen to them again. make a list of all the songs you're craving to hear. stay alive until you can listen to them, and then let them make you feel better, okay?

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590025)

I'm praying (to who, I wonder?) that someone else replies to this, someone who is good with words and knows what to say. But until then, you have little old meh. Of course I'm going to reply. It sucks having problems like these and I want you to know that you aren't alone. I know that's the cheesiest thing I could possibly say, and if someone said that to me I would completely disregard them. Please know that you can come to me any time. You can email me or I'll probably be hanging out on here. Also, you're a fabulous writer. I don't know who your English teacher thinks he/she is, but EVERY SINGLE THING that I have read by you has been absolutely phenomenal.

Originally Posted by strawberry (Post 590107)

I Cant Stop Crying

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590112)

The funny thing is, my dad won't let my buy their albums. He says it's bad for me to listen to "sad music" all of the time.

I spend almost every night crying myself to sleep. The nights I don't, it's because I was cutting and I had already spent all of my tears. It's the lyrics in forest that really get to me.

This is not what you're supposed to see
Please, remember me. I am supposed to be
King of a kingdom

This isn't who I'm supposed to be. This isn't what everyone is supposed to see. And I don't know what to do any more.

Originally Posted by Ember (Post 590126)

Hey, I don't know what you're going through but we are all here for you, love.