o_0 What did—uh, bye...o_0

*sits in corner and watches*

THEY WENT KENDRA
AAAAGH
MY SECRETS
THEY LEFT ME
CREEPY IDIOTS
*kicks Jar of Secrets* *kicks Jar of Hearts*
Who do you think you are?
Running around, leaving secrets—
Oh my god.
My secrets.
They fell on the table
and left me at the
V8OFDISJLFWCA
THIS ALL MAKES SENSE KENDRAAAAAAA!!!

._.
._.
._.
...........okay.

XD Just messing with you. It's my book's lines. XD

I see :D HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! I have to watch something with sis.

opted out
ha
i'm laughing because
it's true
it's the sad, sad truth
and i am the follower so
no offense taken because
the truth doesn't have to hurt anymore
and i refuse to move on
to forget
do you know that you've been my role model since we met
a leader
memorizing songs
drawing those pictures of characters
doing circus
everything
if i need help, you're the only person i would listen to
because i don't
and if you think i deserve a better friend
she better get better fast
cause there isn't anyone else

oh gawd
oh gawd
oh gawd
oh gawd
heather
just
you're perfect okay?
chris loves you just
even
this
you are that okay?
please
just
i love you
you don't need critics about you
you don't need to be worrying
it's your life
i want you to go to a theme park
i want you to have some frikking fun

In this tiny little hole, in this tiny little world, while everyone is smiling or killing or happy or sad or anything, I'm here and just doing nothing but I'm doing something. I guess I have a skill—kind of—maybe—probably not but I am still just a person. Just another person. Who would think it would just be me? It's just me. Just me—I'm not that much. Just a person. Just some person. Just some average kid who write stories. Sometimes I like to look at the clouds and -- whenever I look at the clouds depart from one-another -- I think it's like two people or two different species leaving us. No. Leaving me... I'm such an idiot for thinking I would be like this and I'm just this person who sits here. I'm just this weird person who sits here. I'm normal. But I don't want to be normal...I want to be bigger than normal; everyone wants to be this human with a good job and a good story and a good life and blah blah blah. I don't want to be anyone like that. I'm not perfect; nobody is. I make mistakes and sometimes I honestly do feel like crap. Then I feel awesome... ... ... ...only to feel like another dose of crap overcame me and then I feel crap again. And then I want to go over this Bridge of something. I don't know what it is in reality but beauty cannot justify or simplify words for it. I just want to walk over this Bridge of something and forget I was ever near anyone...but then I love everyone that I know in family relations. I'm not here for wasting people and their "precious" time. I came here to live, work, write, be successful and eventually...die. It's all going to happen anyways. Sometimes we need to get that clear into our heads. We are all going to die soon enough and there are five steps for me and my life and I am not going to repeat them and that is it and here I am. I just want to be some person who is wide awake with energy and I don't want to be sitting there on my butt with an electronic working on a story every freaking second of each and every freaking day because I need to be someone else as well. Why can't I be you for a change?

Whoa, Max. Just........whoa.
No words right now...
...except that's exactly how I feel most of the time.
You captured so much in words.
I suggest you put this on the NSP.

.....this is how i feel all the time.
to be honest i hate being this way but i be this way-- and it sucks

we are all hear for life but what if we don't want it?

Like that old kindergartener's saying goes..."get what you get and don't throw a fit." Haha..... hah...... no.

all I can say is... life will throw you curveballs. some will be happy; it will seem like a lot aren't so much. just keep pushing.

without KP I have no clue where I'd be...

....without KP i would still be writing though

yeah me too. just i dunno how it would look like. probably extremely crappy.

i would probably gain better writing i would be a good writer-- not saying that i am or anything but yaddayaddablahblah whatever. eh it's not just writing though

I'm pretty sure half of my closeish friends at school hate me.
Am I just being paranoid?
I'm just glad that A is a quick-to-anger, quick-to-forgive person.
Arrogance, along with Chinese, is the bane of my life.

That post is so American.

Agreed. xD

Dad. Seriously.


What are you trying to imply? That I talk with you about my problems?

That I tell you I hate all the kids at my school?

Or that I spend lunch crying in the library?

Or that I spend half of my classtime getting to the bathroom so I can crouch against a wall covering my ears?

Look, you think I'm smart and strong and beautiful. I'm not any of those things.

And I can't tell you about my problems. I'm sorry.

nooo, you are smart, and you are strong, and you are pretty. and you are really awesome.

You are smart and strong and beautiful. Not to mention awesome and epykful and amazing and so many other great things.

I'm starting to doubt my religion again. I've been trying to distort the way I look at it to make it better. Like that the way people portray it is wrong, that the Bible was written by superior men with a sense of false grandeur, that it's not about sending people straight to hell, that it's all about community and loving each other, that the public people who practice it are just walking contradictions and God's laughing at them, that he's there, that it means something...but I'm really not sure.

Sorry, I know a lot of KPers are atheists, I just needed to vent.

if you expect me to get things done on time

i'm sorry
genuinely sorry

:(:( I look at all these posts and I wish I could help....but my advice is total crap. :(:(

What religion are you? Christian of some sort? Any way, religion is about having something to hold onto and something 'guide you through life' however it can. If it's making it worse, drop it, if you believe it really can help you, just listen to what you think is right and make that your religion. You can't really trust anyone in what to believe but yourself.

Well said.

yes you can. *hugs*
hide in your room, blast music, and read. or talk to us. whatever you need to do, as long as you keep on living.

I hate this hell of a life. I'm supposed to be smiley, happy, perfect, yup.

Fuck you. That's not ever happening. Sorry. Just not. Maybe if you for once tried to look at the real me, you would notice the hair littered about my room. Or maybe instead of yelling at me for failing, asking me why might help. Why fail? Why ruin your life, Lily? Because it's already over. You ended it long ago.

I hate this so much. I hate having to run back here and whine to all of you. I hate me.

Don't hate yourself. Your parents need to learn that you are who you are.

Aw, Lily /hugs/. You aren't whining to us. And soon enough you'll move out and live in your own house writing poetry without anyone to bother you. It'll be alright. Don't pull your hair out. Take a warm shower.

Yes, AA is right.

Try telling that to them. :/
And besides, according to them, I'm a nasty, horrible thing. So why bother?

Five years. Five fricking years isn't soon, sorry. -.- Eh, I shouldn't be annoyed at you. Oh well. Don't hate me for being an a-hole, I guess. -.-

You're not an a-hole, Lily. You're amazing. And until then just make sure to turn the music up loud. :]

I'm from a family of assholes. I've heard someone say that being adolescent is figuring out the flaws in people, and when you become an adult is when you accept them, but I'm still working on the former.

:/ Don't let the a-holes in life bring you down.


There are a lot of flaws to find, that's one thing for sure.

I try not to, but it's hard to do that.