I hate waiting for something big to happen. I hate it when people mishear words. I hate when people cancel plans. I hate it when I unintentionally do the things that I hate. I hate it when people who are always happy suddenly are sad and I can't help. I hate it when the sky is completely clear and the sun is bright and hot and blinding.

And sometimes, I just feel like I hate everything.

._.

This feeling always passes after a little while. But, still. I hate the feeling of hating everything. And then I hate myself for hating everything. And then I just curl up on the couch with some hot tea and read or watch TV to distract myself from all the hate and then waste half a day in the process. And I hate wasting time.

It's a vicious cycle. ewe

Sports isn't exactly the most important part of school, thankfully. And I'm sure there are plenty of kids in your school who feel the exact same way. Everyone's different. No one should expect you to feel comfortable with and enjoy something you just don't want to do. Plus, like I said, it's not the most important thing in the world. <:^) Just try not to worry, and try not to let what people say get to you. No matter what, though, there ARE people who feel the same way you do, and your family and friends DO care about you a lot. Just imagine how things would be if you had no family, no friends, and had to go through the same problems. That would be considerably worse. It doesn't take away the problem if you think about that, but it can help you think positively.

*hugs*
If you feel like crap, thEN GO SPEND A DAY WITH READING OR WATCHING TV AND RELAX. It's NOT wasting time, it's giving yourself a chance to feel better. And even if it was wasting time, that's okay.
*gives you a happie*

A couple of inspirational/encouraging songs for anyone who wants/needs them:
 

Hold Your Head Up - Argent:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8i500NGJsw

I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YMh8orMNqc

This sounds a little weird, but whenever I'm in a low mood, I find it more therapeutic to listen to slow-mo, solemn songs. I suppose in a way, it helps me to define my mood, and it feels like the music agrees with me. It feels more like at least something understands, and I feel better. Sorry rambling, nonsense, blah. :P

By the way, hey AshWolf! This is JackD, Haven't talked in ages. :P

A little venting of my own.
I find it so hard to come on this site sometimes. I know it sounds weird, but I loved it here so much. I have amazing memories of spending the summer of 2010 and that following year on here, I made such amazing friends, writing so much, reading everyone else's stories, the NESs, all the book covers, and the fights, it remains such a great time in my head.
Then, like most of my friends on here, I began to drift. And I kept on drifting. And now, almost everyone's gone. And I still feel I must come on, but I can't say goodbye. I promised myself that I'd get 1000 posts on WBF before I left. And I also hold on for so many reasons. I refuse to let myself leave, yet it physically makes me feel sick to come online knowing my friends aren't here. This sounds ridiculous. But the thought of leaving KidPub behind pains me so bad, even though I barely come one.
In my head I always half think that everyone will come flooding back. All the people I miss and have no contact with anymore like Kyle, and NightOwl, and Jen and Camille and ForeverMyDraco and SicilianSea. And the people I always saw around, but never knew very well like WolfWriter and Lucky. And we'll all hang around again and write. But I know it won't happen. And it kills me. Yeah sure I can keep on talking to my old friends I still kind of talk to Stara and Kay but it will never be the same. :/ And there's so many people I always thought I'd talk to but never did, so many lost opportunities or something in my head. Lost almost-friends.
Blah, it kills me. I needed to say this somewhere, just throw it outwards.

Yeah, I usually listen to songs like that for a while, and then slowly start listening to more upbeat/inspirational songs as a way to get out the emotions and move on. It IS the most comforting to listen to the sad, slower songs first, though.

*suddenly notices username* O_O JACK? JACKD? :'D Heyyyyy! How've you been? What've you been up to?

True. So, so true.

*tackle hugs*
you're not an idiot you're wonderful shh
ugh i know how you feel… it sucks.
I've seen NightOwl from time to time? And I think she's still doing the BECCA awards. I could email FMD for you, if you want. And I miiight have Kyle's email if he hasn't changed emails. I think Jen might have a deviantART account?? I know Sicilian Sea does. And I'm pretty sure Camille has a tumblr. So… I know it's not the same, but there's still ways to contact them.

rvauitreantuyna my mouth hurts. I have a tooth that's not all that loose but I have to get it pulled if I don't get it out my next week and I ate a whole bunch of crackers on that side of my mouth to try to make it looser and now my whole left side of my face is literally throbbing with pain. IT HURTS LIKE HELL. NNQIRNV;IAUFIUNEWR;ENAEINAE i'm gonna go curl up in a ball on the floor now ERIUTNAYFUYALYTUER

I think I do have Kyle's e-mail somewhere, and FMD's. It just really kills me, you know? And how Xaxvier has told me he's leaving to. This place has a whole new population, but it feels so weirdly empty to me. It kills me, it really does. And I feel like I want to leave, and I should, but I can't let myself, not until I get my 1000 posts, and even with that I know it'll be a struggle to let it go.

I don't know why I find this so hard. How did everyone else just drift on with ease? I don't know how people can let this place go.

yep pretty much :/

*huggles*

Aw, Ash, I'm sorry. We don't talk, but it sucks that you feel that way. I hope you feel better. :)

I hate it when paranoid people limit other people to do other things when it's then who are scared.
I hate it when your father slaps you in a tourist attraction (I deflected it wih my hand) and you feel like the attraction yourself. And he then drags you so hard through the street so you lose the feeling in your hands.

I hate it when paranoid people limit other people to do other things when it's then who are scared.
I hate it when your father slaps you in a tourist attraction (I deflected it wih my hand) and you feel like the attraction yourself. And he then drags you so hard through the street so you lose the feeling in your hands.

Welp
My dad has leukemia
And even though he says he'll be alright I'm not really sure
He'll still have to go through chemo
He'll still have to suffer and whoops I'm scared ok

Oh my gosh o.o
Wolfie *glomps a thousand bazillion jillion killion times* I don't know if that is a real number but I couldn't care less right now. I am so sorry! D: I am so praying for your dad and your family and you right now, okay? I seriously hope you'll find the strength to endure this and if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, I'm here, Ash is here, Lizzie is here, we are all here.

I know that scared feeling. My dad had cancer and I couldn't believe it at first. It felt super surreal because before he had seemed perfectly fine, then it just hit us. I ended up calling my best friend immediately afterwards and cried over the phone with her. You aren't alone in this, we are here, okay? :)

Thank you, Kenny c: *glomps back*
The number is real if you just beLIEVE

No probs, Wolfie (i have no idea what to nickname you) *falls over*
BELIEVe!!

My older sister is extremely paranoid and she has a severe anxiety disorder, so I know how you feel. It's so annoying! I mean, it's so bad I've taken to thinking of her as Mom Junior. Ugh.

OMPJ, I'm so sorry! I can't relate to how you feel, but that must be horrible! I hope he's alright!

It's revolting how easily society can manipulate us into believing that we are what they call us.

Thank God.
Amen.

ohmYGOD
*SCREAMS*
*SCREAMS*
*SCREAMS*
i FINALLY got a TenxRose kiss.
goddamit i hate doctor who
i love it too
(basically i have a love/hate relationship with all my tv shows)

Hey.
This
is for all of you who feel alone in the world and need courage and strength.
My cousin wrote it.

Yeah so I hate life right now.

I didn't check the EVT today...*flails* SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY!!! *sobs*

Oh my gosh. D': C.T....*glomps* I'm so, SO sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm so sorry this has happened to your father. This is horrible. *glomps again* I've been down that road before, you know. I know the pain it brings. I've lost multiple family members to cancer, and my doctor was once afraid I had a type of cancer, too. *glomps again* I'm so, so sorry. You don't deserve to go through any of this. I know we can't do all that much to help you--Kendra and Lizzie and I--since we're all just pixels to you most of the time, but just keep in mind that we're here for you if you ever need to talk or vent or be comforted. We'll always be here to listen. I wish we could do more, though... :( I hope your dad doesn't go through too much pain. Same goes for you and your family. Be sure to keep us updated, okay? We really do care about how things are going. Just...try not to dwell on the future. Live in the now, if you can, and look back on happy memories.

I'm sorry. I've got no experience with this matter, but my friend's dad had cancer and he recovered. But my other friend's dad died because of lung cancer.

At least she can't stop you from doing stuff.

I've got a biology assignment and it's due in two weeks--WHOOPEE.

Dun hate life ;-; though I don't know what's causing you to think that, just remember to look at the good above the bad c: it may be hard to find but its always there.

Isn't it crazy? In today's world everything has advanced so much: medicine, quality of life, education, health care, etc. (well in the Western world, for now). Don't you think people should be leading so much easier, happier lives as a result of that. But of course as human beings, that is never going to happen. I mean, we're just teenagers, shouldn't we be ok for now, be able to enjoy our adolescent years and worry about the more important stuff when we're older? Nope. Along with better medicine, quality of life, education, health care, comes more growth of depression within teenagers, drug problems, growth in the numbers of cancer victims in families, etc.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, is that people suck. No matter how much we improve, we just find new ways to screw ourselves over.

This is so true. It's really sickening.

does anyone else think about how overwhelming it is
how maybe you feel too much
goddamn maybe its the recent doctor who but i feel like im suffocating in a ton of emotions yet i find it hard to feel sympathy for people at the same time

and i dont know if i should be feeling happy and glad and angry and sad and hopeless and cold at the same time and i dread the school year i absolutely do
because i know im hopeless when it comes to school
and i feel like im filled with so much hate and anger and this entire summer i feel like ive just been lying to myself that im okay
im glad about so many things
but im also angry all the time and selfish and hateful and i dislike people for no reason at all and i get annoyed at the smallest things
and i feel like no one is reacting the way i need them to react
they react with pity and sympathy and too much pity like no okay i do not need to be told "oh it will work out youre not this youre not that youre wonderful" i dont need constant reminding and constant pity and the same goddamn chant all over again
i dont need people to tell me that my decisions and feelings are justified or that they're okay
i just want someone who will be in sync and get it i want someone who will understand
and has anyone ever helped lately or has it just made me feel worse and more cut off im not sure i dont really want comfort lately
comfort got old too fast

I've been feeling really sad and angry recently for no apparent reason. It's kind of silly if you think about it, but it has been happening to me. I don't want to be sad/angry, and then it's like this: if you have no reason to be sad, then how can you be sad? So I've been confused about that.

Also, my grandpa was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer a few weeks ago. He has 6-12 months left. He's the first of the relatives I know to be passing, and I don't know how to feel because I never really knew him well, so I feel like an emotionless blob, and then I'm upset because I wish I got to know him better.

On top of all that, I don't really know who to be friends with in real life, and if I HAVE any friends in real life, because my good friends recently started swearing a lot and using obscene hand gestures and being inappropriate in general. And I heard they were being mean to some people, although I don't know the specifics.

This stuff probably not much compared to what other people have to go through.

But yeah.

I'm sorry, Arin. ;-; The sadness will probably pass. My only advice is to try doing things you like. Listen to music. Get outside. Anything that makes you feel better. In the meanwhile, just remember that we think you're awesome, 'kay?

Oh, gosh. I know exactly how you feel with your grandpa. Something like that recently happened to me. Just...maybe try to spend more time with him? The feeling of numbness/being emotionless will pass. Trust me. I'm trying to work it out myself, so I can't offer that much advice right now. >.< Just try not to be so hard on yourself.

*general huggles and happies and muffins* Hope you feel better soon. c: You're awesome.

Did you guys see that post on NSP yesterday? There was a poem that was titled something like that... . It's overly truthful in its MESSAGE, and it scared me. A lot. It explains a ton. The first sentence is what hooked me.

Someone once told me that
writers liked
playing god.

That's the line that stuck in my head all day. Thinking of the presumptuous idiots.

And then there was my other favorite line. The part that genuinely scared me.

(Or maybe,
we are desolate
lonely people,
even with lots of friends
and tons of money
who can't control
our lives.
So we create things that
we have power over.
So we can make them strong
when we are not.
Make them
break down
when we want to.)

I really hope you guys read it.

O___O *runs off to read the poem*

Oh goody, I influenced someone. ^-^ Isn't it fantastic?

haha my mom seems to bitch about me as much as i bitch about her (and wow thank you for going from insulting me to trying to guilt me in about thirty seconds)
wow fuck i'm a worthless piece of shit