The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

SeptemberLove 05-19-2013 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 459958)
I still belong to the faction Apathy. I founded it, you barged in, Lauren. Therefore, you cannot kick me out.

Feeling like a loser, but, ahem, what's the faction Apathy?

LaurenM 05-19-2013 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 459958)
I still belong to the faction Apathy. I founded it, you barged in, Lauren. Therefore, you cannot kick me out.

But you really don't seem Apathetic. Did I say that I belonged there? If I did, I shall exit. I suddenly realised how boring Divergent is.
Quote:

Originally Posted by SeptemberLove (Post 459959)
Feeling like a loser, but, ahem, what's the faction Apathy?

She made it up when we were talking about Divergent factions.

SeptemberLove 05-19-2013 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 459961)
But you really don't seem Apathetic. Did I say that I belonged there? If I did, I shall exit. I suddenly realised how boring Divergent is.

She made it up when we were talking about Divergent factions.

I got chu :p

AlgebraAddict 05-19-2013 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 459859)
Have you ever been on the one called Starship or something? It's where you get into this UFO and it closes, and there's these flat seats against the wall, and you stand against it as the ride starts spinning and as it gets faster, you jump up and the gravity will keep you there, and then the seats lift, and as it slows down, you fall back into a standing position. So difficult to do a curl up.....

Oh my gosh. Horrible run on sentance O.o




OH MY GOD THAT ONE IS FREAKING AWESOME.

It's at the state fair.

I did it upside down once. :D

cheezemziez 05-19-2013 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BearWithAStrawberry (Post 459494)
i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo ugly.
honestly.
the girls at my school r liek tis:

https://www.google.com/search?q=pret...2F%3B500%3B491

And i'm the only one who's all like:

https://www.google.com/search?q=mr+b...2F%3B500%3B400

It's okay to look any way at all. Just because those girls look like human barbies and you don't, it doesn't mean that you're any less beautiful than they are. You aren't ugly. (And nor is Mr Bean, for that matter.)

MaryElizabeth 05-19-2013 02:43 PM

https://twitter.com/gerardway/status/336025892449038336

Arin 05-19-2013 07:29 PM

I hate myself.

LaurenM 05-19-2013 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 459987)

He's awesome ;_;

HeatherB 05-19-2013 07:45 PM

it's funny how little time goes by and yet how much things can change, just in one day.
i think--no, i know that i'm going to die. obviously, we all are. and i think--no, i know that it's going to be suicide. there is honestly no other way i'd have it. and i think--no, i know that it's going to happen before i'm thirty.
these are all things i've observed over the years and now they become more true than ever. at this rate, actually, i might not make it to twenty.
and still i can't help but think--or maybe, if i'm lucky, know--that if i did hang on just a few years longer, maybe i could finally get the fuck out of here like i want and completely and irreversibly change my life, as i feel i'm at least partially destined to do before i die.
but for now i'm surrounded by people, and i don't mean you guys. i mean physical people who are with me every day not on the internet, but regretfully in the flesh in my life. i'm surrounded by a shit ton of people and the worst part is, at least three of them need me. i can't--i can NOT--allow this to go on. if i'm needed by people other than myself, it's not a good thing. people cannot learn to rely on who i make myself out to be, a sobbing mess and a heartless bitch and also, somewhere in there, a very flawed human who doesn't want your fucking need. oh, yeah, i sound bitter, proud, and likely jaded, but what the fuck do i care? the answer is i don't. if i could just shake off said people like water off my back--not out of my life, but out of their range of need for me--it would be so much easier. they could move on, and, in their movement, i could allow myself to move on too- finally, finally. i can't bear the fact that i'm going to be gone one day and people are going to actually hurt because of that. isn't it a kind of sickening thing that just because you couldn't take the people around you and especially not yourself that people are going to hurt? i don't want to hurt people. honestly, i don't. it's the kind of thing you have a choice in, until you don't.
yes, i have lived, and yes, i will keep living. and yes, i will die, and yes, i look forward to it. believe me when i say i have nothing left to live for. i'm made of nothing but other people's expectations. i'm not even really a person anymore: i'm expected and perceived but not REAL. so it won't even be the death of a human being, at least look forward to that. it will be the death of a soul who never found out who she really was, and whatever. i don't care. the dead can't afford to care.
and i want to go, too, i want to leave this wretched life that i've made for myself that has so many good points and yet too many bad but i can't. i'm trapped because i'm needed. i'm needed in this world. i'm RELIED UPON in this world. it is, quite frankly, absolutely and irrevocably terrifying. i can't rely on myself, so why do people rely on me? it's that old timeless question that no one can fucking answer because they know they're guilty, too--they need people. they rely on people.
but i've learned that i don't rely on anyone but myself--not really, anyways. my parents, yes, i do rely on them, but they also rely on me, and, in the push and pull of things, i think i'd be better off without them than they without me. my friends, well, i hope to god they don't rely on me, and i don't want to rely on them. so i try not to. i try to do things by myself. i try. we all fucking try. we're all fucking trying in a world that is meant for good intentions but is always going to be wronged by its irreparable flaws. always. the sooner we know that our world is not a perfect one nor should we expect to be, the better.
i have been told that i am perfect. i have been told that i am going to grow up to be the world's smartest person. i have been told that i am pretty. i have been told so many good things.
and i have told myself, you are not perfect. you are not smart. you are not even remotely pretty. you are a bitch, a liar, a cheater, a ruiner, a destroyer and not a creater. and i have told myself, okay. that's okay. that's who i am.
but no one's willing to believe that. no one's willing to believe that i might not be the huge mountain of expectation that they want me to be, and so i crumble and so i fall into a sea of broken dreams, but they aren't my broken dreams. they're other people's.
i live for the people and by the people and i am fucking sick of it.
if i can't live for myself, then i'll die for myself. and i'll at least have that. that one last thing that i know is good.

HeatherB 05-19-2013 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 460039)
heather.
oh heather.
i wish i could help you out of this place, i really do, but im just on the internet on the other side of the world.

im just going to reassure you that it is possible and i am sure you can do it, even if no-one else can. even if i can't, you can, and it's okay not to be perfect or pretty or smart. even though you are at the very least a little bit of each.



please stay safe for now.

thank you. and if i can, you can. and if i can't, you can't.


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