The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

AlgebraAddict 08-23-2016 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 589122)
i. am. not. a. slut.

I AM NOT A SLUT FOR SITTING WITHOUT MY LEGS CROSSED AND I'M NOT A SLUT FOR WEARING CROP TOPS AND SHORTS AND SPAGHETTI STRAPS AND I'M NOT A SLUT FOR READING BOOKS WITH SEX SCENES AND I'M NOT A SLUT FOR FLIRTING WITH BOYS. I. AM. NOT. A. SLUT.

THAT VERY TERM IS HORRIBLE AND YOU ARE HORRIBLE FOR USING AND YET I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND YOU SHOULDN'T USE THAT WORD FOR ANYONE AT ALL BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T SAY IT TO A BOY AND IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU THINK A GIRL SHOULDN'T DO WHAT SHE WANTS WITH HER BODY AND LET ME REMIND YOU THAT I AM BARELY 13 YEARS OLD AND I AM NOT A SLUT.

I AM NOT A SLUT. I AM NOT A SLUT. I AM NOT A SLUT OR A SKANK OR A FLIRT OR ANY OF YOUR SYNONYMS I AM NOT A SLUT I AM NOT A SLUT I AM NOT A SLUT.

and the worst part is that it's people i know and people i love and people i want to agree with and it's my mom and my friends and family friends and i just

i am not a slut. i am not a slut. it is not a crime to wear spaghetti straps. it is not a crime to sit with my legs comfortable spread. it is not a crime to be confident with myself and my sexuality. it is not a crime and i am not a slut. i. am. not. a. slut.

so shut your effing mouth.

hey so i totally get the sentiment and u have the right to identify with whatever u want
but at the same time please be careful how you approach this topic. i think the idea of saying "well I'm not a slut" or that kind of language anyways assumes that there is such a thing as slut but ur not one?? like there's this whole culture of "slut-shaming" and just be careful not to be a part of that. i mean like fat shaming for example, people will say I'M NOT FAT I'M NOT FAT because they think that's the worst possible thing they could be..??? but there are real people out there who identify as being "fat" and they are fine with it. yes slut is a word made up by people who want to shame women but it's also a cultural term now and many women actually identify as a "slut". I know exactly what you're trying to say here, and I agree that sluttiness is a silly concept that shouldn't be applied to a thirteen year old girl, but it's just wise to be mindful of the language you use when ur dealing with this stuff. c: hope this wasn't too insulting..

july3girl 08-23-2016 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 589129)
hey so i totally get the sentiment and u have the right to identify with whatever u want
but at the same time please be careful how you approach this topic. i think the idea of saying "well I'm not a slut" or that kind of language anyways assumes that there is such a thing as slut but ur not one?? like there's this whole culture of "slut-shaming" and just be careful not to be a part of that. i mean like fat shaming for example, people will say I'M NOT FAT I'M NOT FAT because they think that's the worst possible thing they could be..??? but there are real people out there who identify as being "fat" and they are fine with it. yes slut is a word made up by people who want to shame women but it's also a cultural term now and many women actually identify as a "slut". I know exactly what you're trying to say here, and I agree that sluttiness is a silly concept that shouldn't be applied to a thirteen year old girl, but it's just wise to be mindful of the language you use when ur dealing with this stuff. c: hope this wasn't too insulting..

yeah i understand. it's when people use it as an insult, as a way to shame others, it gets on my nerves. it is a cultural norm for it to be an insult and for it to be something to be ashamed of, and i understand that's it's not, but when you're bombarded with people telling you what you have to do to not be this, what you have to do to avoid being this so-called terrible thing, it just makes me want to scream because no one gets to fucking decide who i am and what my actions mean. this is coming from friends, from equals, from people who have no right to lord over me and say that "you can't wear this, i know better then you, i know that this makes you look ____." they have no right.

it's when it's used as an insult that it makes me mad because it's not an insult and it's not something to be ashamed of and when people say it like it is one it DOES, it makes me feel like i'm a horrible human being. i understand that it's not, but in the context it feels like it is.

it's not the word slut that makes me mad. it's the reasoning behind it. it's "oh this girl isn't ashamed of her body, she's a bad person." it's that people USE it as an insult and as a way to shame girls and shame me. it's that people USE it as a way to lord over girls and tell them that they know better, that they're smarter, that they get to decide what i am and what i'm supposed to be.

SilverMoon 08-23-2016 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 589129)
hey so i totally get the sentiment and u have the right to identify with whatever u want
but at the same time please be careful how you approach this topic. i think the idea of saying "well I'm not a slut" or that kind of language anyways assumes that there is such a thing as slut but ur not one?? like there's this whole culture of "slut-shaming" and just be careful not to be a part of that. i mean like fat shaming for example, people will say I'M NOT FAT I'M NOT FAT because they think that's the worst possible thing they could be..??? but there are real people out there who identify as being "fat" and they are fine with it. yes slut is a word made up by people who want to shame women but it's also a cultural term now and many women actually identify as a "slut". I know exactly what you're trying to say here, and I agree that sluttiness is a silly concept that shouldn't be applied to a thirteen year old girl, but it's just wise to be mindful of the language you use when ur dealing with this stuff. c: hope this wasn't too insulting..

my bad I didn't realize ppl identified as sluts I thought it was just a slur
but yea i agree with all the points u guys made

Graystorm 08-23-2016 02:58 PM

Okay, so this is for Madie, but to the other people who see this, here's some insight (Spelling?) Into my crappy life. So there's no simple, boiled-down way to put this, so I'm just going to tell you what I've wanted to tell you for some time. I cut. I don't cut deep, so I don't think its ever been dangerous. I had a whole long paragraph planned in my head but now it all seems inadequate so there's that. And I pray to any and all god(s) that no one I know finds this. What do people do when they find out that someone cuts? Will they send me to a freakin mental institution, or just not let me shave?

Also, Madie, I went to the doctors today and I have sever anxiety and minor depression. If counselling doesn't work for me they're planning on giving me medication. And I already know that counselling wont work for me. I just can't talk face to face with people, especially strangers.

Also, I feel really bad about dumping this all on you. Sorry. . .

Swallowtail 08-23-2016 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 589148)
Okay, so this is for Madie, but to the other people who see this, here's some insight (Spelling?) Into my crappy life. So there's no simple, boiled-down way to put this, so I'm just going to tell you what I've wanted to tell you for some time. I cut. I don't cut deep, so I don't think its ever been dangerous. I had a whole long paragraph planned in my head but now it all seems inadequate so there's that. And I pray to any and all god(s) that no one I know finds this. What do people do when they find out that someone cuts? Will they send me to a freakin mental institution, or just not let me shave?

Also, Madie, I went to the doctors today and I have sever anxiety and minor depression. If counselling doesn't work for me they're planning on giving me medication. And I already know that counselling wont work for me. I just can't talk face to face with people, especially strangers.

Also, I feel really bad about dumping this all on you. Sorry. . .

Hey listen there's absolutely no reason to feel bad for telling us this, okay? <3
Also, please try and stop cutting. I know that sounds like a terrible way to say this, but I really can't think of another way to. It WILL get better, please try and believe this, even if it seems impossible. Also, please don't think I'm judging you in any way for saying this, I'm really not. I just want you to be healthy and happy and feel good about yourself, and sometimes old cuts can make people want to cut again. Also, please try and keep an open mind on counseling, maybe it will actually help, and if it doesn't, please don't worry about it. Meds are necessary for some people and that's perfectly fine. Maybe meds will help more than anything else ever could to make you better. <3
If you ever want to talk to me through email, go ahead. <3 I won't judge you, promise.

AlgebraAddict 08-23-2016 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 589136)
yeah i understand. it's when people use it as an insult, as a way to shame others, it gets on my nerves. it is a cultural norm for it to be an insult and for it to be something to be ashamed of, and i understand that's it's not, but when you're bombarded with people telling you what you have to do to not be this, what you have to do to avoid being this so-called terrible thing, it just makes me want to scream because no one gets to fucking decide who i am and what my actions mean. this is coming from friends, from equals, from people who have no right to lord over me and say that "you can't wear this, i know better then you, i know that this makes you look ____." they have no right.

it's when it's used as an insult that it makes me mad because it's not an insult and it's not something to be ashamed of and when people say it like it is one it DOES, it makes me feel like i'm a horrible human being. i understand that it's not, but in the context it feels like it is.

it's not the word slut that makes me mad. it's the reasoning behind it. it's "oh this girl isn't ashamed of her body, she's a bad person." it's that people USE it as an insult and as a way to shame girls and shame me. it's that people USE it as a way to lord over girls and tell them that they know better, that they're smarter, that they get to decide what i am and what i'm supposed to be.

yeah that shit's messed up
like tbh screw em all you're perfect

Frostblaze 08-23-2016 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 589148)
Okay, so this is for Madie, but to the other people who see this, here's some insight (Spelling?) Into my crappy life. So there's no simple, boiled-down way to put this, so I'm just going to tell you what I've wanted to tell you for some time. I cut. I don't cut deep, so I don't think its ever been dangerous. I had a whole long paragraph planned in my head but now it all seems inadequate so there's that. And I pray to any and all god(s) that no one I know finds this. What do people do when they find out that someone cuts? Will they send me to a freakin mental institution, or just not let me shave?

Also, Madie, I went to the doctors today and I have sever anxiety and minor depression. If counselling doesn't work for me they're planning on giving me medication. And I already know that counselling wont work for me. I just can't talk face to face with people, especially strangers.

Also, I feel really bad about dumping this all on you. Sorry. . .

hey, hey, it's okay. i'm glad you came to me about this. now, cutting - i've cut before. three times. not enough to draw blood, like you. but stormy, cutting is dangerous. first it's long scratches on your thighs, then it's blood dripping from your wrist and scars that won't leave. and you're hurting yourself, the beautiful, amazing, adorable, incredible, perfect person you are. no. it's not okay, but you can fix it. snap a rubber band on your wrist - that's what i do, and that's what tyler used to do. or hold an ice cube in your palm until it melts. both these hurt, but they don't cause any damage to your body, which cutting will most definitely do. as far as your mental illnesses go...i'm sorry. i wish there was something i could do to take them away. but i firmly believe you're strong enough to kick them in the butt. i believe you have the power to not let them bring you down. and stormy...in order to get help, you have to try things that have the slimmest of chances of working. because you never know. maybe give counselling a try - more than one tries, in fact. see if you can get used to talking to strangers. i'll pray for you, and please know that i'm always here in case you need to talk. i love you, and please, please don't pick up a razor or anything like that tonight. you can do this.

AlgebraAddict 08-23-2016 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 589148)
Okay, so this is for Madie, but to the other people who see this, here's some insight (Spelling?) Into my crappy life. So there's no simple, boiled-down way to put this, so I'm just going to tell you what I've wanted to tell you for some time. I cut. I don't cut deep, so I don't think its ever been dangerous. I had a whole long paragraph planned in my head but now it all seems inadequate so there's that. And I pray to any and all god(s) that no one I know finds this. What do people do when they find out that someone cuts? Will they send me to a freakin mental institution, or just not let me shave?

Also, Madie, I went to the doctors today and I have sever anxiety and minor depression. If counselling doesn't work for me they're planning on giving me medication. And I already know that counselling wont work for me. I just can't talk face to face with people, especially strangers.

Also, I feel really bad about dumping this all on you. Sorry. . .

hey you don't you dare apologize for any of this. this isn't your fucking fault and don't you dare believe it is and you have every right to "dump it all" on people because you have a right to be cared about.

okay so the thing about the cutting is that it can and will get worse. like I totally believe you when you say that the way you do it now, it's not dangerous, but it will probably just get worse if you don't do something about it. fingernails turn to safety pins turn to scissors turn to razor blades. just like any other addiction, you will build up an immunity to the same level of self harm, and then you will feel the need to escalate it. I know you probably believe you've got a handle on it, but no one does. and there's also just the possibility of going too deep when you don't mean to and getting yourself into a dangerous situation that way. I realize I sound paranoid and a little crazy and overconcerned, but I'm right.

anyway the reality is that you can't keep it from everybody forever. either you will tell somene or they will find out on their own, and let me tell you... telling people sucks balls, but it's a lot less uncomfortable than explaining yourself when someone else figures it out. I'm an expert on both. if you're going to counseling, you should tell your therapist. I need to warn you that they are required by law to tell your parents, but they will probably figure it out anyway. and counselors usually know how to be reasonable and talk it thorugh with the parents, so I promise you won't get sent to an instutiton or whatever. /hugs/ besides all that, you do need to stop. it destroys you internally and hurts other people and will kind of eat up your life until there's nothing left, and you don't deserve that. you deserve a fucking wonderful, fabulous, breathtaking experience out of life. I totally get not wanting to talk to counselors, but who knows, you might get used to it. plus, meds are actually pretty cool. yes it sucks to have to take meds, but they really do help. it's not a "fake happy" or a "high" or whatever, it's just kind of limiting the emotional damage your depression and anxiety can do to you at one time. idk how to explain it.

anyways I hope this all works out for u. much love~

AlgebraAddict 08-23-2016 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 589161)
hey, hey, it's okay. i'm glad you came to me about this. now, cutting - i've cut before. three times. not enough to draw blood, like you. but stormy, cutting is dangerous. first it's long scratches on your thighs, then it's blood dripping from your wrist and scars that won't leave. and you're hurting yourself, the beautiful, amazing, adorable, incredible, perfect person you are. no. it's not okay, but you can fix it. snap a rubber band on your wrist - that's what i do, and that's what tyler used to do. or hold an ice cube in your palm until it melts. both these hurt, but they don't cause any damage to your body, which cutting will most definitely do. as far as your mental illnesses go...i'm sorry. i wish there was something i could do to take them away. but i firmly believe you're strong enough to kick them in the butt. i believe you have the power to not let them bring you down. and stormy...in order to get help, you have to try things that have the slimmest of chances of working. because you never know. maybe give counselling a try - more than one tries, in fact. see if you can get used to talking to strangers. i'll pray for you, and please know that i'm always here in case you need to talk. i love you, and please, please don't pick up a razor or anything like that tonight. you can do this.


^^^this
this is so perfect

Jesse 08-23-2016 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 589148)
Okay, so this is for Madie, but to the other people who see this, here's some insight (Spelling?) Into my crappy life. So there's no simple, boiled-down way to put this, so I'm just going to tell you what I've wanted to tell you for some time. I cut. I don't cut deep, so I don't think its ever been dangerous. I had a whole long paragraph planned in my head but now it all seems inadequate so there's that. And I pray to any and all god(s) that no one I know finds this. What do people do when they find out that someone cuts? Will they send me to a freakin mental institution, or just not let me shave?

Also, Madie, I went to the doctors today and I have sever anxiety and minor depression. If counselling doesn't work for me they're planning on giving me medication. And I already know that counselling wont work for me. I just can't talk face to face with people, especially strangers.

Also, I feel really bad about dumping this all on you. Sorry. . .

When people find out that you are suicidal or selfharm...therapy, meds, tests, fights with your parents are to be expected. Or at least thise were the things that happened with me. But you're not going to go into solitary confinement and it definitely isn't going to ruin your life, as my parents haven't mentioned it in like three years and my siblings don't know about it.

I got called into the guidance counselor's office and SHE was crying which was ironic and someone had told her about the scissors and the scars on my wrist and etc etc. Anyways you're not going to get thrown into an insane asylum. For me: my parents took me out to ice cream, I missed school for a week, went to therapy, nearly took antidepressants (but didn't because I didn't want them), and had several embarrassing meetings with school faculty.

This was a VERY long time ago (at least, it feels like it was). But no one's going to think you're crazy or something.

Since you said you don't like talking to people facetoface...
teenhelp.org -- I've gotten help from the counselors on here before and they're all very friendly and helpful. You communicate over email and they give you the resources for whatever your problem is. And there are forums, if you want to talk to teens like yourself
Make art - for me, writing helps a lot. It's just a way to vent and calm down without people judging you. I've never tried painting or the other forms of art therapy but it's a real thing that can be relaxing.
Watch movies/read books/etc - Find a movie or book that relates to what you're going through and watch it. Sometimes they're not helpful and feel like they were made by outsides, but other times it makes you feel like there's someone else who knows what you're going through. I personally suggest Short Term 12, it's incredible and is on Netflix!!
Stay motivated - don't just sleep all day. Watch college courses on YouTube. Animate. Clean your room. It really doesn't matter so long as you're doing something worthwhile that you care about. Showering helps.

stay safe :-)


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