The Writer's Block

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july3girl 11-08-2016 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590914)
I can't do it I can't do it because I don't know what will happen and how people will react and what will change and WHAT WILL CHANGE? What do you tell them? The bare minimum or all of it? What will they do? WILL THEY GIVE ME PITY? BECAUSE I DONT WANT THAT.

that's why I can't tell anyone. That's why I won't tell anyone.

I talk to you guys because I know that you can't change anything happening in my real life. You can encourage me and ask me to get help and what ever, but I don't have to listen.

I've been feeling horrible for posting on this because I keep complaining and you guys keep trying to help but I never listen and you guys should go help someone else who's not stuck in the way they're living.

I'm not worth it.

1) you are worth it

2) never feel bad for talking to us. it's ok. as long as you try it's ok. and yes you are stuck but you are going to make it out

3) you are worth it

4) they will help you. they will help you out of the darkness, ok? they will help you be ok. they will not pity you. they will be heartbroken to see that an amazing person such as yourself is trapped in this horrible mindset. and they will help you out. it's not important how much you tell them. just that you tell someone.

5) YOU ARE WORTH IT. do not forget it. i will not stop saying it. you deserve to be alive and you deserve help and you deserve to make it out. you are worth it.

6) things would be different if you told. but it would be better. i promise you that it would be better. it would be better because there would be someone to help you when we can't. my greatest, deepest fear, stormy, is that one day you are going to need someone to talk to or you'll be in trouble and we can't help you. please please tell someone.

7) you will always be worth it. you have always been worth it.

8) please listen. please tell someone. just write a note and slip it under the door of someone that you trust. it doesn't have to be long. it just has to say what you're going through and it has to be signed so that they can help. please, please let them help. what devastates me is that we can't really help you. like you said we can encourage you and plead for you to ask someone but we can't help you get away from this. that's up to you. you have to tell someone.

9) you are worth it. i'm going to keep saying it, ok? because it's true.

10) please just tell someone. if you hate that you did, scream at us. tell us how we messed everything up. blame us. you can say i told you so. but just tell someone. that's all that matters right now. that's your first step out of the darkness. please take it. take the first step and we can go from there.

11) you are worth taking the step. you are worth it. you are worthy. you deserve to get out. you are worth helping and you are worthy of life. you are worth it.

Graystorm 11-08-2016 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 590917)
1) you are worth it

2) never feel bad for talking to us. it's ok. as long as you try it's ok. and yes you are stuck but you are going to make it out

3) you are worth it

4) they will help you. they will help you out of the darkness, ok? they will help you be ok. they will not pity you. they will be heartbroken to see that an amazing person such as yourself is trapped in this horrible mindset. and they will help you out. it's not important how much you tell them. just that you tell someone.

5) YOU ARE WORTH IT. do not forget it. i will not stop saying it. you deserve to be alive and you deserve help and you deserve to make it out. you are worth it.

6) things would be different if you told. but it would be better. i promise you that it would be better. it would be better because there would be someone to help you when we can't. my greatest, deepest fear, stormy, is that one day you are going to need someone to talk to or you'll be in trouble and we can't help you. please please tell someone.

7) you will always be worth it. you have always been worth it.

8) please listen. please tell someone. just write a note and slip it under the door of someone that you trust. it doesn't have to be long. it just has to say what you're going through and it has to be signed so that they can help. please, please let them help. what devastates me is that we can't really help you. like you said we can encourage you and plead for you to ask someone but we can't help you get away from this. that's up to you. you have to tell someone.

9) you are worth it. i'm going to keep saying it, ok? because it's true.

10) please just tell someone. if you hate that you did, scream at us. tell us how we messed everything up. blame us. you can say i told you so. but just tell someone. that's all that matters right now. that's your first step out of the darkness. please take it. take the first step and we can go from there.

11) you are worth taking the step. you are worth it. you are worthy. you deserve to get out. you are worth helping and you are worthy of life. you are worth it.

i cant do it

july3girl 11-08-2016 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590919)
i cant do it

that's ok. please try though. aim to do it by the end of this week. humor me. please just try.

Swallowtail 11-08-2016 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590914)
I can't do it I can't do it because I don't know what will happen and how people will react and what will change and WHAT WILL CHANGE? What do you tell them? The bare minimum or all of it? What will they do? WILL THEY GIVE ME PITY? BECAUSE I DONT WANT THAT.

that's why I can't tell anyone. That's why I won't tell anyone.

I talk to you guys because I know that you can't change anything happening in my real life. You can encourage me and ask me to get help and what ever, but I don't have to listen.

I've been feeling horrible for posting on this because I keep complaining and you guys keep trying to help but I never listen and you guys should go help someone else who's not stuck in the way they're living.

I'm not worth it.

First off, I'm sure that it was 100% NOT YOUR FAUKTthat your mom died. You're a wonderful person and an amazing friend and there's no way for that to be true. I understand you feeling guilty, but it was not your fault. Also, don't ever feel bad for talking to us, ok? There's no need to apologize, I promise. I don't want to echo what everyone else is saying, but I want you to get help from someone who can affect your life in the real world, and I know that you can. Also, know that you can call me or FaceTime me any time if you need to.

Zelda 11-08-2016 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590904)
Nononononono im not okay im not okay im not okay my demons are just trying to slow me down cling to my legs and slow me down so the big issues can catch up like THE FACT THAT I FUCKING KILLED MY OWN MOTHER THE FACT THAT IM A SHITTY PERSON theyll catch up and theyll envelop me in a darkness so thick that I wont be able to see and itll seep down my throat and into my stomach and suffocate me until I die

no no, listen to me, listen, precious human.
ok your demons aren't shit if you don't let them be shit ok
it sounds ridiculous, i know, and impossible because they're demons, right? you can't just not let a demon screw you up, it's not like they give you a chance to frigging breathe. but you gotta fight them. fight them, like, five minutes at a time. ok? take out a sewing needle (a metaphorical sewing needle, a minor goal, like, set a goal to organize your bookshelf) and poke them in the eye with it, if that makes any sense.
you might be a shitty person, but fuck, so are the rest of us.
in the words of Blue, from Girl In Pieces, "Don't let the cereal eat you."
the cereal represents your demons. you are the eater of the cereal. you control the cereal. do not let the cereal eat you.
ok, you got this, precious human, you can beat your demons.
plus, hey, you have KP to rely on. :)

strawberry 11-08-2016 06:20 PM

hahaa when ur mom says you're taking advantage of the ppl accommodating u for ur issues and that you're getting worse and it's not your mental illness it's just you being lazy and a worthless person and that help is counterproductive so no one should help you lol lol well you know what i can't wait to go to college im gonna send in those applications and get accepted for the sole purpose of living away from them and doing whatever I please. hooly heck im so excited to just punch and cut and just stand in the middle of the road waiting for cars to show and i don't have to worry abt being told that im stupid and a disappointment and no one will have /bad reactions and make me feel even crappier about it and holy crap I'm so ready. Just let me get hurt in peace lol

strawberry 11-08-2016 06:26 PM

ohhh MY GOD she won't leave me alone I need to leave I need to GET OUT

Frostblaze 11-08-2016 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590904)
Nononononono im not okay im not okay im not okay my demons are just trying to slow me down cling to my legs and slow me down so the big issues can catch up like THE FACT THAT I FUCKING KILLED MY OWN MOTHER THE FACT THAT IM A SHITTY PERSON theyll catch up and theyll envelop me in a darkness so thick that I wont be able to see and itll seep down my throat and into my stomach and suffocate me until I die

listen to me very carefully. you did not kill your mother. you are not a bad person. you will tell yourself that this is not your fault, okay? we can never know why people kill themselves. it was one hundred percent not your fault. trust me. i promise you. and you will defeat your demons someday. just hold on a little longer. things will get so much better, darling.

Frostblaze 11-08-2016 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberry (Post 590947)
hahaa when ur mom says you're taking advantage of the ppl accommodating u for ur issues and that you're getting worse and it's not your mental illness it's just you being lazy and a worthless person and that help is counterproductive so no one should help you lol lol well you know what i can't wait to go to college im gonna send in those applications and get accepted for the sole purpose of living away from them and doing whatever I please. hooly heck im so excited to just punch and cut and just stand in the middle of the road waiting for cars to show and i don't have to worry abt being told that im stupid and a disappointment and no one will have /bad reactions and make me feel even crappier about it and holy crap I'm so ready. Just let me get hurt in peace lol

buddy, you're hurting enough. you don't need to hurt anymore. you don't need to do anything to yourself.

Frostblaze 11-08-2016 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590914)
I can't do it I can't do it because I don't know what will happen and how people will react and what will change and WHAT WILL CHANGE? What do you tell them? The bare minimum or all of it? What will they do? WILL THEY GIVE ME PITY? BECAUSE I DONT WANT THAT.

that's why I can't tell anyone. That's why I won't tell anyone.

I talk to you guys because I know that you can't change anything happening in my real life. You can encourage me and ask me to get help and what ever, but I don't have to listen.

I've been feeling horrible for posting on this because I keep complaining and you guys keep trying to help but I never listen and you guys should go help someone else who's not stuck in the way they're living.

I'm not worth it.

if you tell them, that's a step to helping yourself. that's something you have accomplished. look, one demon down. lots more to go, but it's a start. how do you know if you don't try? they won't give you pity if you straight-up tell them that's not going to help you. because people want to help you. your family wants to help you. they don't want to lose you the way they lost your mother. i know you're scared, and that's perfectly okay and completely normal, all right? but at one point, you have to try. ultimately, it's up to you, and you can do it. stop saying you can't. stop saying you aren't worth it, because i love you to pieces. i've been here for a while, and i can honestly say you are worth it, precious baby. don't feel horrible for posting here, okay? trying to get help is a good thing. you're doing great so far. i'm proud of you.


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