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meerkat 12-03-2016 07:09 PM

c'est pas ok

Lily09 12-03-2016 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 592256)
it's happening again. i'm sad but with no concentrated reason. i'm just sad. it all just seems useless.

reasons why i feel this way:
1. the stupid test to get into school. i got like 99% on the first test, but that wasn't timed. and i'm doing so badly on math when practicing. and i'm bad with time limits.

why do i even care? either way, i'm guaranteed to get in a top three school (if i do well on the reading, which i always do). but i want to get in the top one, because... why. i don't even know. because if i don't i'll be the only one in my family not to? because if i don't then i'll have to decide if i should try and get admitted in a different, more difficult way? because i want to prove the stupid boys at school wrong? because i am smart and i can get into any school they can get into. i think i got the highest score of our school on the first test, but i don't think they'd believe me if i told them. they'd think it's for attention.

2. i never see my bff anymore. we're only in spanish together, and nothing else. we take the train home together on fridays and then hang out, but that's it. she has apparently promised to share a memory with my other closest friend for graduation. i thought we were. apparently we don't have a memory from our seven years of friendship worthy of sharing.

i've been dreaming of sharing a memory with her since 3rd grade. it'd be fine if i could share one with my other closest friend, but i can't. i don't know what i'm going to do.

sometimes i feel like my friendship with my bff is disappearing. we still go to the same school, but we probably won't next year. if we can't stay super close through one wall, how can we stay close with the city between us?

3. everything is useless
4. i'm awkward around everyone
5. my sister's life is worse
6. my other sister's life has been worse
7. i'm not pretty. i don't even have a good pair of jeans.
8. i'm messy
9. i'm complaining about stupid problems
10. i don't know what's in my future
11. i lose important things
12. i can't give 100% on everything without giving myself away, and if i don't give 100% on everything i'm a slacker
13. no one here wants to hear me whine, but this is the only place i can
14. i have a good life, but i feel this way. it's not like i even feel this way all the time. it's like once every two weeks. and it sucks.

i don't know how to help and i don't have any advice other than talk to your best friend. communication is key. invite her to hang out more. what did you guys love to do but don't do much anymore? invite her to do those activities. but other than that, i just wanted to say that even if you have a good life, it's okay to complain. your problems are still important and you deserve an outlet.

Lily09 12-03-2016 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 592284)
c'est pas ok

but it can be ok.

meerkat 12-03-2016 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 592286)
but it can be ok.

yeah i mean like if you're failing every class that's kinda hard to believe

Frostblaze 12-03-2016 08:26 PM

a thing that never fails to upset me:

there's this guy who lives in my town. his name's Nick. i haven't seen him in a while, but he came to our church a few times. he's a christian and goes to another church more often than ours. so, Nick's gay. no big problem. obviously. pfft, no big problem, it's absolutely, 100% fine. God loves him the way he is. God doesn't care. Nick, however, does. he told the pastor and his wife that he is gay, and he's trying not to be. trying not to be. trying not to be gay. this breaks my heart. this is legitimately awful. because most of the Christians are so hung up on that one verse, that sin mentioned once, for god's sake, Nick is denying a part of himself. denying who he loves. ok i know firsthand how much it tears you apart to deny your feelings for someone because you're under the impression it's wrong. the thought that he could be tearing himself up over this right now absolutely destroys me. he deserves so much better than that. and this downright terrifies me: what if he's never able to find love because of this? i mean please, Nick, you're gay. so what? move on. it's no one's business who you wanna screw. it's only yours. and that doesn't freaking matter.

meerkat 12-03-2016 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 592288)
a thing that never fails to upset me:

there's this guy who lives in my town. his name's Nick. i haven't seen him in a while, but he came to our church a few times. he's a christian and goes to another church more often than ours. so, Nick's gay. no big problem. obviously. pfft, no big problem, it's absolutely, 100% fine. God loves him the way he is. God doesn't care. Nick, however, does. he told the pastor and his wife that he is gay, and he's trying not to be. trying not to be. trying not to be gay. this breaks my heart. this is legitimately awful. because most of the Christians are so hung up on that one verse, that sin mentioned once, for god's sake, Nick is denying a part of himself. denying who he loves. ok i know firsthand how much it tears you apart to deny your feelings for someone because you're under the impression it's wrong. the thought that he could be tearing himself up over this right now absolutely destroys me. he deserves so much better than that. and this downright terrifies me: what if he's never able to find love because of this? i mean please, Nick, you're gay. so what? move on. it's no one's business who you wanna screw. it's only yours. and that doesn't freaking matter.

hi, i'm gay too, and it's really not that easy. the problem is't with us, it's with society's view on people like us

Zelda 12-03-2016 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 592287)
yeah i mean like if you're failing every class that's kinda hard to believe

classes aren't really important in the long run, so failing them is actually ok.

Lily09 12-03-2016 08:28 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by meerkat (Post 592287)
yeah i mean like if you're failing every class that's kinda hard to believe

i mean i have no idea what failing means
it's not like these are my current grades or anything
Attachment 501


i'm not gonna take my own advice/words, but i promise you're gonna be okay meera. i really believe in you. it's gonna be okay.

meerkat 12-03-2016 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zelda (Post 592290)
classes aren't really important in the long run, so failing them is actually ok.

it's not like i base my entire life on this. but like. whatever. not important my fuckign ass

meerkat 12-03-2016 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 592292)
good post. i'm not even christian but it's a struggle everyday.

i'm not christian either but a lot of people i know (including a girl i used to be hopelessly in love with) are violently homophobic. and i don't want to hide this part of me and i want to be able to freely express my love for other women. but i'd also not like to die, thank you very much


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