The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Swallowtail 04-09-2019 11:37 PM

also it was owens birthday today- he would’ve turned 17. idk i just miss him a lot and i still can’t really believe he’s dead even though it’s been almost seven months. i wish i had had more time with him- i’m so sorry i didn’t get to know him as well as i wanted. i thought i had more time but i didn’t and i regret a lot. he should be in the play with us, he should be at math team practice. i’m not doing frisbee this year because the reason i stuck with it last year was because he was so kind and patient to me every practice. i feel so terrible for his family and everyone who was closer to him than i was. i hate that he’s never going to get to do so much. i hate that he had plans for life that he’ll never get to see realized. i hate that he’s just fucking gone, that i’ll never get to say goodbye. he didn’t deserve to die. i hate that he died scared and sad and slowly. i really hate that he regretted it- if someone had found him earlier or if we didn’t live in the middle of nowhere he would’ve lived and probably never tried again. sometimes (especially now that it’s warmer and reminds me of the fall) i catch myself hoping that he’ll wake up soon and be able to go home and be okay and i have to remember that he’s dead and will never go home. i just miss owen.

Swallowtail 04-15-2019 12:05 PM

just watched a friend have a total mental breakdown in the hall and now i’m just stuck freaking out in the chem lab bc we have class! love this year! very annoyed that they put the boys back in the barn because it is terrible

Werty 04-15-2019 03:02 PM

okay so my friend is stressed to the breaking point because of a couple classes and she just beats herself up over it repeatedly over and over again and ik she's going to pass but in order to do so she has to put her heart into it. it's computer science so we get to do whatever quests we'd like as long as we get stuff done but the teacher is starting to be more specific and the school years almost over and i hate to see her like this and it's even worse bc she's a virgo and although none of you know astrology like i do this means that she amplifies her stress and pressures herself like no tomorrow and when i ell her i have no homeworkshe just feels worse bc i get all my homework done immediately bc my p a r e n t s make me before i can do anything else

alemye10 04-16-2019 11:38 AM

A list of some stuff that you all can ignore but it just makes me feel better to type it down

1. I have a math test in like ten minutes. And Iím scared Iím going to get a bad grade cuz math is very stressful right now

2. My state is doing our very annoying standardized test thingy. It honestly wouldnít even be bad but my parents expect me to get a near perfect score and that just ends up making me more nervous and then I just ughhhhhhhh

3. I donít have any story ideas and I want to write something decent but haha nopeeeeeeee

4. I wish I never tried out for soccer at school cuz even though I made the team Iím not on of the best and thereís this girl named Eva who literally hates me bc, I donít even know, and sheís always trying to make it seem like Iím really really bad

5. Soccer at club isnít the best either cuz my dad is like a really really good soccer player and everybody expects me to be like him and heís always giving me advice and when I use his advice my coach gets mad because they have different ideas on how soccer should be played and ughhhhhhhh again

6. Iím writing this in science class and yah enough said :)

7. Thereís a lot more but my test in now in literally 3 minutes (itís 11:37 and math starts at 11:40 oh wait now 2 minutes hee hee byeeee)

Werty 04-16-2019 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werty (Post 602138)
okay so my friend is stressed to the breaking point because of a couple classes and she just beats herself up over it repeatedly over and over again and ik she's going to pass but in order to do so she has to put her heart into it. it's computer science so we get to do whatever quests we'd like as long as we get stuff done but the teacher is starting to be more specific and the school years almost over and i hate to see her like this and it's even worse bc she's a virgo and although none of you know astrology like i do this means that she amplifies her stress and pressures herself like no tomorrow and when i ell her i have no homeworkshe just feels worse bc i get all my homework done immediately bc my p a r e n t s make me before i can do anything else

okay so it's getting worse and i'm really concerned for her bc a sixth grader shouldn't be feeling like this and we all are just rlly concerened for her mental health and e have a vacation next week but that's soooo faaaar. school is just destroying her mentally right now but only her? like? none of my friends are feeling as much pressure and i feel virtually none for a change bc i feel like most of schoolwork is getting easier and i stiLL have that math homework pass but i think she already used hers. which is a shame because she hates math. and also i'm sorry that i'm going on about this i'm just really worried she's going to hurt herself or something over break instead of relaxing like she's supposed too and her parents ugh she doesn't like her mom and her dad is ok i guess but her mom wants her to be perfect and so that + school + she's a freaking virgo = stress depressed bomb 1000 and it's making the rest of us anxious and depressed too and i love her to death but she needs to stop hating herself and her life and she called herself ugly today which is a whole new story and i really hope that doesn't escalate bc then she will almost definately hurt herself and this started only yesterday. like, how can you become so sad in just 2 days sarah come on

also alem hope you do great and i'm sorry this isn't even my problem i just feel so bad

FrostBittenKitten 04-17-2019 11:25 AM

Do you ever just break down crying because you think that no one likes you even though rationally you know you have friends but what if theyíre just being nice to you bc theyíre nice and not bc they actually enjoy your company...

And you canít tell anyone bc youíre too embarrassed about it

And you feel closed off from everyone all the time

But in other news I think I might (finally) come out as bi so thereís that

Werty 04-17-2019 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrostBittenKitten (Post 602185)
Do you ever just break down crying because you think that no one likes you even though rationally you know you have friends but what if theyíre just being nice to you bc theyíre nice and not bc they actually enjoy your company...

And you canít tell anyone bc youíre too embarrassed about it

And you feel closed off from everyone all the time

But in other news I think I might (finally) come out as bi so thereís that

actually I used to feel like that all the time
it might be an aquarius thing what's your sign

FrostBittenKitten 04-17-2019 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werty (Post 602186)
actually I used to feel like that all the time
it might be an aquarius thing what's your sign

im a virgo actually

i think i have social anxiety which is why i freak out about that kind of thing a lot but i do kind of have a virgo-ish desire to be perfect and my stupid tendency to put pressure on myself doesn't help (that and being a "neat freak"--which i am not--is rly all i even know about my sign)

Swallowtail 04-17-2019 11:35 PM

fuck so apparently my mom got drunk and attacked my dad and brother which tbh i could kinda see coming and they’re ok but my parents are probably going to get divorced? this is all coming from my brother like right now and i’ll call him in a bit but idk
we argue a lot but i really do love him and hope he’s good and i’ve always felt really guilty for leaving him at home and fucking off to boarding school bc often i did have to defend him (not physically though then) from my mother and now i just feel so horrible abt leaving him at home

Swallowtail 04-17-2019 11:37 PM

i’ve always kinda thought and also hoped my parents would get divorced but???im just worried about him. and also i have to go home on friday for easter and i guess it’d be good to have me there for ian but jesus christ


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