The Writer's Block

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)
-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Ruza 11-10-2012 08:55 AM

I have a Heroic Quest myth due on Monday (having to follow the Monomyth guidelines), science problems on Heat and Thermal Energy due, and math homework. I also have to read "The Odyssey" and take a test over it on Monday. Oh, and I have to read "It's All in You Head" for my expanded learning program class. -_-

soph-soph27 11-10-2012 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 361397)
Godfuckingdammit.
I'm sorry, Sophie, I completely missed this yesterday. /headdesk
BUT FEAR NOT. I'm here now... /handsSnickers
First things first: it gets better. We're in a really tough spot right now, Soph, all of us 8th graders, applying and stressing and worrying the freak out about test scores and being perfect role models and shit. It's horrid to go through depression on top of this, but you know how life goes: it doesn't give a fuck. It hands us stuff on a silver platter but we don't know whether it's poisoned or not, and when we refuse to try it, we get no other food, no nourishment to keep us going. I was like that too, remember? I didn't recognize myself or anyone, I was just an emotionless drifting organism and I didn't feel at all, it was horrible, it was terrifying, and ultimately, it was RIDICULOUS. Because Sophie, let me ask you this: what is the point of life if not to live? Indeed, we MUST live, because it's our duty to the world. We intruded upon it and made it bad, we live to fix it and fix ourselves in the process--at least, this is what I believe. Okay? Do you see what I'm saying? This is why I've been so frustrated lately: I want to get out and DO something, I don't feel like living MY life anymore--I want to go on an adventure and I want to be passionate and brave instead of sniveling and feeling nothing, and I think you'd rather that to the alternative as well. Unfortunately, since we can't just get the fuck away because of reasons I articulated in my rant (see: when I'm saying why I can't kill myself, it's basically the same reasons), we must deal with life as it comes to us. And within our boring monotony, we must find ways to LIVE within our life. We mustn't shake our heads and sigh at every little thing. Fill yourself up while you can, Sophie, life is short and never forget it. Live each and every day with no roleplaying but yourself: become yourself, FIND yourself. I know it's not such an easy thing to do. I know it gets so goddamn hard and you want to cry. But you can't cry--you know that. You'll do no such thing as pathetic and weak as cry. (Even if some tears do not fit the qualification, it makes you feel burning up from within and saddens you more. I advise against crying for the time being. Screaming into pillows, on the other hand...) Conjure up emotion and really FEEL it. Read poetry, lots and lots of poetry--poetry is good for getting the emotional juices flowing. And write poetry, too--you're excellent at that, it shouldn't be a problem. Live your normal, common, exhausting, everyday life, and live it WELL. Enjoy your time because believe it or not, you don't have much left. That's my advice to you.

I know, and the worst part is that I feel like I'm trying, but it's just like an elephant came along and said whoops, oopsie, I just sat on a person, and I'm squished, and I'm getting crushed, slowly, slowly, underneath my own weight, my weight- that's the pity I'm carrying around, which bring me back to my first point. Which was. That I don't think I'm trying hard enough. So, I'm not depressed, I just feel like a failure.

bookworm1999 11-10-2012 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruza (Post 361654)
I have a Heroic Quest myth do on Monday (having to follow the Monomyth guidelines), science problems on Heat and Thermal Energy due, and math homework. I also have to read "The Odyssey" and take a test over it on Monday. Oh, and I have to read "It's All in You Head" for my expanded learning program class. -_-

Ouch, I'm sorry :(

Stephiey 11-10-2012 08:14 PM

Okay, this is actually serious.

My grandparents have these really tiny black bugs in their house. They bite my grandparents and burrow under their skin and lay larva. We've checked everything on the web but there's literally nothing that matches the description of these bugs. They've tried fumigating the house and everything, but the bugs are still there. My grandparents don't want to leave their house because they feel bad for having to stay at other people's houses/use their kids' money to stay at hotels. My grandma just had an anxiety attack today and my grandpa's depressed.

Please guys, I just need your prayers. If you know anything about these bugs, please tell me... because my grandparents are already really old and I don't want anymore stress being placed on them.

maxi 11-10-2012 08:15 PM

I might start a venting novel. Each chapter a new vent.

Rockshadow 11-10-2012 08:46 PM

I'm worried about my cat..he hasn't come in about a day and a night and he had these wounds yesterday...i need to know my kitty is okay. :(

Ruza 11-10-2012 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephiey (Post 361873)
Okay, this is actually serious.

My grandparents have these really tiny black bugs in their house. They bite my grandparents and burrow under their skin and lay larva. We've checked everything on the web but there's literally nothing that matches the description of these bugs. They've tried fumigating the house and everything, but the bugs are still there. My grandparents don't want to leave their house because they feel bad for having to stay at other people's houses/use their kids' money to stay at hotels. My grandma just had an anxiety attack today and my grandpa's depressed.

Please guys, I just need your prayers. If you know anything about these bugs, please tell me... because my grandparents are already really old and I don't want anymore stress being placed on them.

And the rest of our problems aren't?

LaurenM 11-10-2012 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephiey (Post 361873)
Okay, this is actually serious.

My grandparents have these really tiny black bugs in their house. They bite my grandparents and burrow under their skin and lay larva. We've checked everything on the web but there's literally nothing that matches the description of these bugs. They've tried fumigating the house and everything, but the bugs are still there. My grandparents don't want to leave their house because they feel bad for having to stay at other people's houses/use their kids' money to stay at hotels. My grandma just had an anxiety attack today and my grandpa's depressed.

Please guys, I just need your prayers. If you know anything about these bugs, please tell me... because my grandparents are already really old and I don't want anymore stress being placed on them.

Do they look like this?:
http://www.google.com.hk/search?q=wo...VAQAnQv2AOkfM:
My dad says he's seen those a lot when he was a kid and when he slaps them, they're full of blood. He's confirmed that they're tiny, black, bite people and burrow under their skin and lay larva, so it might be wood fleas.

Sandy 11-10-2012 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 362050)
Do they look like this?:
http://www.google.com.hk/search?q=wo...VAQAnQv2AOkfM:
My dad says he's seen those a lot when he was a kid and when he slaps them, they're full of blood. He's confirmed that they're tiny, black, bite people and burrow under their skin and lay larva, so it might be wood fleas.

Holy crap, I am so glad that where I live is too cold to host any crazy bugs other than mildly irritating ticks...

LaurenM 11-10-2012 11:10 PM

I read it somewhere that if you tighten your muscles when a mosquito is on you, they'd burst from too much blood.
Is it snowing in wherever you live, Sandy? Last night was so warm that I actually needed to switch on the air-conditioning -_- This morning is better, though.

EmmaR 11-10-2012 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 362096)
Holy crap, I am so glad that where I live is too cold to host any crazy bugs other than mildly irritating ticks...

Yup, me too. Thank god. Those things sound really freaking creepy.

I think what Stephanie was trying to say is that her grandparent's health is in immediate danger from an outside source, opposed to many of the posts on this thread relating to personal, internal problems. I'm not saying that those internal problems aren't serious, because they are, but they're serious in a different way. They're something you work through, while a problem like hers needs to be remedied quickly with professional help. See what I'm getting at?

Rockshadow 11-11-2012 01:43 AM

My friend (We'll call her Ella) we were at this birthday party for a girl in my class, and Ella and this other girl (we'll call her Rosalyn) are really good friends. However, Ella keeps blowing me off for Rosalyn, and it goddamn hurts when she does. It makes me feel like I'm inferior, like she doesn't care about me, which she does, but she cares for Rosalyn more.

She'll probably forget that she invited me over on monday anyway. :/

HeatherB 11-11-2012 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruza (Post 362046)
And the rest of our problems aren't?

Perhaps the rest of HER problems seem insignificant compared to this. IDK. Speculation...

Stephiey 11-11-2012 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruza (Post 362046)
And the rest of our problems aren't?

Um, sorry? I meant that they're really old and this is affecting their health... where all of y'all are young (unless someone is a creepy old man) and your problems (or at least most of them) don't affect health.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 362050)
Do they look like this?:
http://www.google.com.hk/search?q=wo...VAQAnQv2AOkfM:
My dad says he's seen those a lot when he was a kid and when he slaps them, they're full of blood. He's confirmed that they're tiny, black, bite people and burrow under their skin and lay larva, so it might be wood fleas.

That sounds right.... I'm going to ask my dad. Thanks!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmaR (Post 362104)
Yup, me too. Thank god. Those things sound really freaking creepy.

I think what Stephanie was trying to say is that her grandparent's health is in immediate danger from an outside source, opposed to many of the posts on this thread relating to personal, internal problems. I'm not saying that those internal problems aren't serious, because they are, but they're serious in a different way. They're something you work through, while a problem like hers needs to be remedied quickly with professional help. See what I'm getting at?

Thank you Emma. That was exactly what I meant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 362210)
Perhaps the rest of HER problems seem insignificant compared to this. IDK. Speculation...

Look at Emma's explanation.

lvhamsters 11-11-2012 04:41 PM

This is a kinda stupid vent but I need to get it out. Not a very big problem though.

So ever since I was a baby my dad has been leaving at least five days a week, and once he left for six months straight (Military). So I'm kind of used to that now, but I've had to live with my mother most of the time, and quite frankly, she hates me. She's even said it before. But I don't like my dad very much either; whenever he comes home he's always either ignoring us or yelling at us. So the highlights of my day are when neither of my parents are alone. But even when I don't really like them, it hurts to know neither of them are going to be home on Christmas, but I got to thinking I really don't care. I'm just going to force myself not to care. They say they're gone at work all of the time because they care, but I wonder if they just leave because they don't like me.
It also hurts when your mother says "What's wrong with you? You've become mean and nasty. I don't like you."
I think it's her being mean and nasty. She keeps going on and on about how bad I am because I left two fricking glasses on the counter. She gets angry over the smallest things.
I don't know what to do.
She hates me. I don't like her.
Sometimes I just want to run away. Maybe I will someday.
But I do know that once I leave for college, I'm not coming back.

EmmaR 11-11-2012 05:00 PM

This is a really weird vent. It's not actually emotional or about me. It's just a couple of pet peeves I want to rant about.
Why do people talk during the Mourner's Kaddish? Look I at least don't feel disrespected when you blabber on during the Amidah or the Maariv Aravim, but during the freaking Mourner's Kaddish? Do you even know what the Mourner's Kaddish IS? It's the prayer said for DEAD PEOPLE. This is like having a picnic on your grandfather's grave. Seriously. Shut up.
Christmas. *sigh* Y U NO SHUT UP?! It's November. No, it's not the Christmas Season. It's November. Do you see it snowing anywhere? No. Do you hear sleigh bells? No, because SANTA DOES NOT EXIST AND FOR GOD'S SAKE HAVE SOME MERCY! I don't need to hear "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" every freaking time I walk into any freaking place for the entire months of November and December, because it's NOT the most wonderful time of the year, thanks to you! What if I just blasted Mi Chamocha in every single place anywhere or the entire month of April? You wouldn't like that, would you?
STOP DOING VOCAL RUNS WE ALL KNOW YOU CAN BUT THE SONG NEEDS STRAIGHT SINGING FOR GOD'S SAKE!
You know that it's really weird and creepy when you look at my computer screen during History class. You know what I'm writing about, I don't appreciate you reading it, thank you very much.
Yes, I know that's what she said. Yes, I get what you're saying. You don't need to say it after every sentence.
No, you're not as good at chemistry as you think you are.
SO PRETENTIOUS OH MY GOD. Look, I love you, man, but seriously. It's a garden hose. It has nothing to do with loneliness or solitude or isolation or any of your philosophical crap. It's a GARDEN HOSE. You know what it represents? NOTHING. IT'S A GARDEN HOSE, GODDAMMIT. Not everything has a really deep meaning. Sometimes it's just there because it's there, okay?

Whew. Carry on.

MaryElizabeth 11-11-2012 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmaR (Post 362285)
This is a really weird vent. It's not actually emotional or about me. It's just a couple of pet peeves I want to rant about.
Why do people talk during the Mourner's Kaddish? Look I at least don't feel disrespected when you blabber on during the Amidah or the Maariv Aravim, but during the freaking Mourner's Kaddish? Do you even know what the Mourner's Kaddish IS? It's the prayer said for DEAD PEOPLE. This is like having a picnic on your grandfather's grave. Seriously. Shut up.

Despite my Catholic faith, I know how you feel. My eighty-nine-year-old uncle, though I love him, refused to be quiet while the priest was preaching his sermon. I guess I just need to learn to be more tolerant of people.

Speaking of religion....look, I know some Hollywood dude wrote New Normal, but if you saw the latest episode, you probably remember the priest's speech about church. It made me feel hope for the Catholic church.

And, another thing. I'm getting Confirmed in May, and we went to church yesterday. I haven't been to church outside of my school's weekly mass in two years. Not even for Christmas. It's like I'm not even Catholic. It's a new Year of Faith, and I've started praying before bed. I want to start going to church every Sunday again. I really want to commit to my faith.

MaryElizabeth 11-11-2012 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 362266)
This is a kinda stupid vent but I need to get it out. Not a very big problem though.

So ever since I was a baby my dad has been leaving at least five days a week, and once he left for six months straight (Military). So I'm kind of used to that now, but I've had to live with my mother most of the time, and quite frankly, she hates me. She's even said it before. But I don't like my dad very much either; whenever he comes home he's always either ignoring us or yelling at us. So the highlights of my day are when neither of my parents are alone. But even when I don't really like them, it hurts to know neither of them are going to be home on Christmas, but I got to thinking I really don't care. I'm just going to force myself not to care. They say they're gone at work all of the time because they care, but I wonder if they just leave because they don't like me.
It also hurts when your mother says "What's wrong with you? You've become mean and nasty. I don't like you."
I think it's her being mean and nasty. She keeps going on and on about how bad I am because I left two fricking glasses on the counter. She gets angry over the smallest things.
I don't know what to do.
She hates me. I don't like her.
Sometimes I just want to run away. Maybe I will someday.
But I do know that once I leave for college, I'm not coming back.

Oh my God, how is that a stupid problem? Look, talk to your parents, or your priest (I think I remember you saying you're Catholic). You can get through this.

soph-soph27 11-11-2012 05:34 PM

Dear anyone who feels very, very strongly about religion, I am not trying to offend you, but I need to get this out.


I don't want to be catholic, or christian, and I don't want to be hindi either? Just STOP. Stop the pressure, I'm 13. I don't care if I LOOK Indian, stop asking me if I'm native american. Just STOP everything, first, race (which doesn't exist anyway) has nothing to do with skin color, second, I'm too young to be catholic, christian or hindi. I have till January, and I don't need a god to follow.

lvhamsters 11-11-2012 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 362298)
Dear anyone who feels very, very strongly about religion, I am not trying to offend you, but I need to get this out.


I don't want to be catholic, or christian, and I don't want to be hindi either? Just STOP. Stop the pressure, I'm 13. I don't care if I LOOK Indian, stop asking me if I'm native american. Just STOP everything, first, race (which doesn't exist anyway) has nothing to do with skin color, second, I'm too young to be catholic, christian or hindi. I have till January, and I don't need a god to follow.

:3 Its a good thing to get out and true :3
(Just needed to add this, you're not to young to be catholic, christian . . .. etc XD) Sorry :3 Just had to say that . . . .

soph-soph27 11-11-2012 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 362299)
:3 Its a good thing to get out and true :3
(Just needed to add this, you're not to young to be catholic, christian . . .. etc XD) Sorry :3 Just had to say that . . . .

I know, but I have not got my confirmation yet, my christian grandparents want me to get confirmed in January. My Hindu grandparents want me to praise to Ganesh and all the other deities in January. And my parents say to do whatever I want.

HeatherB 11-11-2012 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 362298)
Dear anyone who feels very, very strongly about religion, I am not trying to offend you, but I need to get this out.


I don't want to be catholic, or christian, and I don't want to be hindi either? Just STOP. Stop the pressure, I'm 13. I don't care if I LOOK Indian, stop asking me if I'm native american. Just STOP everything, first, race (which doesn't exist anyway) has nothing to do with skin color, second, I'm too young to be catholic, christian or hindi. I have till January, and I don't need a god to follow.

Eff yeah, honey, rant it all out. *pats shoulder* I know how that feels...
Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 362301)
I know, but I have not got my confirmation yet, my christian grandparents want me to get confirmed in January. My Hindu grandparents want me to praise to Ganesh and all the other deities in January. And my parents say to do whatever I want.

So do what you want. I know, I know, easier said than done. But I didn't do what I wanted, and I've been regretting it so much lately. I don't say grace with my parents and I kind of ignore everything church-related. Our church has been having serious issues lately anyways that are completely confidential, and it really sucks because my parents are stressed all the time... anyyyywaaaayyyy... just, like I said, figure out what YOU want. Don't let stress and pressure get you down. You'll figure it out eventually. Good luck!

lvhamsters 11-11-2012 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 362301)
I know, but I have not got my confirmation yet, my christian grandparents want me to get confirmed in January. My Hindu grandparents want me to praise to Ganesh and all the other deities in January. And my parents say to do whatever I want.

Ohh :3 Understood.
Your parents are correct :3

HeatherB 11-11-2012 09:08 PM

Part One

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:


Scribble on photos of people in magazines
Viciously stab an orange
Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
Have a pillow fight with the wall
Scream very loudly
Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
Go to the gym, dance, exercise
Listen to music and sing along loudly
Draw a picture of what is making you angry
Beat up a stuffed bear
Pop bubble wrap
Pop balloons
Splatter paint
Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
Throw darts at a dartboard
Go for a run
Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
Use stress relievers
Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
Break sticks
Cut up fruits
Make yourself as comfortable as possible
Stomp around in heavy shoes
Play handball or tennis
Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
Run your hands under freezing cold water
Wax your legs
Drink freezing cold water
Splash your face with cold water
Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
Massage where you want to hurt yourself
Take a hot shower/bath
Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
Write or paint on yourself
Arm wrestle with a member of your family
Take a cold bath
Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
Rub liniment under your nose
Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:


Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
Color your hair
Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
Sing on the karaoke machine
Complete something you’ve been putting off
Take up a new hobby
Make a cup of tea
Tell and laugh at jokes
Play solitaire
Count up to 500 or 1000
Surf the net
Make as many words out of your full name as possible
Count ceiling tiles or lights
Search ridiculous things on the web
Colour coordinate your wardrobe
Play with toys, such as a slinky
Go to the park and play on the swings
Call up an old friend
Go “people watching”
Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets
Do school work
Play a musical instrument
Watch TV or a movie
Paint your nails
Alphabetize your CDs or books
Cook
Make origami to occupy your hands
Doodle on sheets of paper
Dress up or try on old clothes
Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
Write out lyrics to your favorite song
Play a sport
Read a book/magazine
Do a crossword
Draw a comic strip
Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
Knit, sew, or make a necklace
Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
Buy a plant and take care of it
Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
Browse the forums
Go shopping
Memorize a poem with meaning
Learn to swear in another language
Look up words in a dictionary
Play hide-and-seek with your siblings
Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
Plan a party
Find out if any concerts will be in your area
Make your own dance routine
Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
Finish homework before it’s due
Take a break from mental processing
Notice black and white thinking
Get out on your own, get away from the stress
Go on YouTube
Make a scrapbook
Color in a picture or coloring book.
Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
Take a small step towards a goal you have.

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal
Run around outside screaming
Laugh for no reason whatsoever
Make funny faces in a mirror
Without turning orange, self tan
Pluck your eyebrows
Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
Color on the walls
Blow bubbles
Pull weeds in the garden



This is really helpful, you guys. I was gonna post it on the Cutting Thread, but really... this is more general in places. <3

HeatherB 11-11-2012 09:09 PM

Part Two


Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming
Draw or paint
Look at the sky
Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
Call a friend and ask for company
Buy a cuddly toy
Give someone a hug with a smile
Put a face mask on
Watch a favorite TV show or movie
Eat something ridiculously sweet
Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
Treat yourself to some chocolate
Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
Look at things that are special to you
Compliment someone else
Make sculptures
Watch fish
Let yourself cry
Play with a pet
Have or give a massage
Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
If you’re religious, read the bible or pray
Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
Go chat in the chat room
Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
Accept a gift from a friend
Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:


“See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
Meditate or do yoga
Name all of your soft toys
Hug a pillow or soft toy
Hyper focus on something
Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
With permission, give someone a hug
Drink herbal tea
Crunch ice
Hug a tree
Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
Put your feet firmly on the floor
Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
Touch something familiar/safe
Leave the room
Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

Think about how you don’t want scars
Treat yourself nicely
Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm
Create a safe place to go
Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”
Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it
Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do
Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming
Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time
Avoid temptation
Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
Be with other people
Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm
Make a list of your positive character traits
Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you
Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm
Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”
Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”
Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don’t want this
Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.
Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.
Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint
Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut
Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo
Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick
Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it’s hard to get off)

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them
Make a collage of how you feel
Negotiate with yourself
Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way
Write your feelings in a diary
Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)
Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life
Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to
Call a hotline
Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)
Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.


Okay, that's all! :'D

BlueMi 11-11-2012 09:16 PM

HEATHER. I have another one.

Cut the sleeves off an old shirt. Or the collar. Y'know, so it falls off one shoulder. Especially if your parents don't approve. Wear it with a tank top. Then rip up some jeans/draw on them. Do your hair crazy. Put on make-up. Take a thousand pictures of yourself. Feel like like a rebel.

soph-soph27 11-11-2012 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 362339)
Eff yeah, honey, rant it all out. *pats shoulder* I know how that feels...

So do what you want. I know, I know, easier said than done. But I didn't do what I wanted, and I've been regretting it so much lately. I don't say grace with my parents and I kind of ignore everything church-related. Our church has been having serious issues lately anyways that are completely confidential, and it really sucks because my parents are stressed all the time... anyyyywaaaayyyy... just, like I said, figure out what YOU want. Don't let stress and pressure get you down. You'll figure it out eventually. Good luck!

It makes me feel bad, cause both pairs of grandparents are SET in the way that they want me to grow up.

EmmaR 11-11-2012 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 362452)
Part Two


Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:


“See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
Meditate or do yoga
Name all of your soft toys
Hug a pillow or soft toy
Hyper focus on something
Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
With permission, give someone a hug
Drink herbal tea
Crunch ice
Hug a tree
Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
Put your feet firmly on the floor
Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
Touch something familiar/safe
Leave the room
Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)

I totally need the panicky one. I get panicked really quickly. What I usually do, if I can catch it before it gets bad, is breath like I'm counting rests in a piece: 1 2 3 4, 2 2 3 4, 3 2 3 4, so on and so forth. If it gets bad, I curl up in the fetal position and cover my ears with my hands, listening to the flow of blood in my head. It's actually really calming.
I've never had any troubles with self-harm. I tend to punish myself in different, non-physical ways.

otaku 11-11-2012 09:33 PM

Ugh, would you shut the hell up? I'm hungry too! I'm tired too, I want my parent to be home too! So just shut up and stop whining and being mean to me and generally being horrible. Can't you just go to sleep, and deal with it? You don't see me doing what you're doing, do you? NO! Because I'm civil, and I can wait patiently 'til they get home. I can make myself food, and not complain about what it is! You're so intollerable, you know that? But somehow, I love you anyway.
Ugh, just go to bed, T.


HeatherB 11-11-2012 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 362459)
It makes me feel bad, cause both pairs of grandparents are SET in the way that they want me to grow up.

Well hell yeah they are, honey, so was my mom. "This is all I ever wanted from you." That is literally what she said when I told her I didn't want to be confirmed. "This is all I ever wanted from you." Um, OUCH, man. Like she doesn't want me to be a perfect daughter on top of that... >_> But you just gotta make your own decisions. Your parents are damn straight on this one. It's YOUR life, it's YOUR choice, anyways. Let them say what they need to say, but at the end of the day make sure your decision is your own.
Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 362457)
HEATHER. I have another one.

Cut the sleeves off an old shirt. Or the collar. Y'know, so it falls off one shoulder. Especially if your parents don't approve. Wear it with a tank top. Then rip up some jeans/draw on them. Do your hair crazy. Put on make-up. Take a thousand pictures of yourself. Feel like like a rebel.

Nice. :'D

HeatherB 11-11-2012 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmaR (Post 362467)
I totally need the panicky one. I get panicked really quickly. What I usually do, if I can catch it before it gets bad, is breath like I'm counting rests in a piece: 1 2 3 4, 2 2 3 4, 3 2 3 4, so on and so forth. If it gets bad, I curl up in the fetal position and cover my ears with my hands, listening to the flow of blood in my head. It's actually really calming.
I've never had any troubles with self-harm. I tend to punish myself in different, non-physical ways.

I'm glad any of them helps, hon. ^_^

AlgebraAddict 11-11-2012 10:41 PM

I hate hormones.

TheAshWolf 11-11-2012 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 362532)
I hate hormones.

x_x Don't we all?

shadowtide 11-12-2012 12:07 AM

I hadn't cut for a few months, but I did today.
But… I don't feel anything about it. I really don't care.

LaurenM 11-12-2012 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 362451)
Part One

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:


Scribble on photos of people in magazines
Viciously stab an orange
Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
Have a pillow fight with the wall
Scream very loudly
Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
Go to the gym, dance, exercise
Listen to music and sing along loudly
Draw a picture of what is making you angry
Beat up a stuffed bear
Pop bubble wrap
Pop balloons
Splatter paint
Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
Throw darts at a dartboard
Go for a run
Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
Use stress relievers
Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
Break sticks
Cut up fruits
Make yourself as comfortable as possible
Stomp around in heavy shoes
Play handball or tennis
Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
Run your hands under freezing cold water
Wax your legs
Drink freezing cold water
Splash your face with cold water
Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
Massage where you want to hurt yourself
Take a hot shower/bath
Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
Write or paint on yourself
Arm wrestle with a member of your family
Take a cold bath
Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
Rub liniment under your nose
Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:


Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
Color your hair
Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
Sing on the karaoke machine
Complete something you’ve been putting off
Take up a new hobby
Make a cup of tea
Tell and laugh at jokes
Play solitaire
Count up to 500 or 1000
Surf the net
Make as many words out of your full name as possible
Count ceiling tiles or lights
Search ridiculous things on the web
Colour coordinate your wardrobe
Play with toys, such as a slinky
Go to the park and play on the swings
Call up an old friend
Go “people watching”
Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets
Do school work
Play a musical instrument
Watch TV or a movie
Paint your nails
Alphabetize your CDs or books
Cook
Make origami to occupy your hands
Doodle on sheets of paper
Dress up or try on old clothes
Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
Write out lyrics to your favorite song
Play a sport
Read a book/magazine
Do a crossword
Draw a comic strip
Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
Knit, sew, or make a necklace
Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
Buy a plant and take care of it
Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
Browse the forums
Go shopping
Memorize a poem with meaning
Learn to swear in another language
Look up words in a dictionary
Play hide-and-seek with your siblings
Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
Plan a party
Find out if any concerts will be in your area
Make your own dance routine
Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
Finish homework before it’s due
Take a break from mental processing
Notice black and white thinking
Get out on your own, get away from the stress
Go on YouTube
Make a scrapbook
Color in a picture or coloring book.
Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
Take a small step towards a goal you have.

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal
Run around outside screaming
Laugh for no reason whatsoever
Make funny faces in a mirror
Without turning orange, self tan
Pluck your eyebrows
Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
Color on the walls
Blow bubbles
Pull weeds in the garden



This is really helpful, you guys. I was gonna post it on the Cutting Thread, but really... this is more general in places. <3

I don't think I'd like to massage where I want to hurt myself, but maybe viciously rubbing would help.

lvhamsters 11-12-2012 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 362457)
HEATHER. I have another one.

Cut the sleeves off an old shirt. Or the collar. Y'know, so it falls off one shoulder. Especially if your parents don't approve. Wear it with a tank top. Then rip up some jeans/draw on them. Do your hair crazy. Put on make-up. Take a thousand pictures of yourself. Feel like like a rebel.

Oh meh gosh ;~; Awesome idea :) I shall do that. >8D My dad's gonna kill me but whatever. Then again he probably won't be home . . . . my mom's gonna kill me :D

nngo 11-12-2012 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 362457)
HEATHER. I have another one.

Cut the sleeves off an old shirt. Or the collar. Y'know, so it falls off one shoulder. Especially if your parents don't approve. Wear it with a tank top. Then rip up some jeans/draw on them. Do your hair crazy. Put on make-up. Take a thousand pictures of yourself. Feel like like a rebel.

Or even more rebellious, if you're a guy, xD

otaku 11-12-2012 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nngo (Post 362647)
Or even more rebellious, if you're a guy, xD

... That doesn't go for my brother...

shadowtide 11-12-2012 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nngo (Post 362647)
Or even more rebellious, if you're a guy, xD

…That would be very awesome.

Kinda like this guy, but not really.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-na0ZuqQrt2...20110705-1.jpg

But with this hair!! (I don't know why I think it's so pure awesomeness, but it is.)
http://static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Th...8031aa6774.jpg

Jeans.
http://www.denimsandjeans.com/wp-con...razy-jeans.jpg

And this makeup, just because.
http://d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net...827750238.jpeg

Yeah…

nngo 11-12-2012 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowtide (Post 362668)
…That would be very awesome.

Kinda like this guy, but not really.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-na0ZuqQrt2...20110705-1.jpg

But with this hair!! (I don't know why I think it's so pure awesomeness, but it is.)
http://static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Th...8031aa6774.jpg

Jeans.
http://www.denimsandjeans.com/wp-con...razy-jeans.jpg

And this makeup, just because.
http://d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net...827750238.jpeg

Yeah…

Or just cosplay David Bowie.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:39 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.