evasong |
10-11-2012 07:13 AM |
Well..... I suppose it might make me feel better. My friends tend to spread rumours about me behind my back and then they ditch me and the they tell me I look bad or there's something wrong with me... like, I have these freckly things on my neck and they're really not noticable half the time but I still get self conscious about it but my friends seem to find the need to tell me that they're massive and I should get them check out because they might be cancerous. I always feel like I'm gonna cry then because my family has been fairly prone to cancer in my life and I have lost a few to it and I want to tell them but whenever I do they tell me I'm putting on an act and I just don't know what to do and sometimes I get so angry I say something I shouldn't and then they get all tetchy towards me. They won't speak to me and they won't go near me and they mutter things behind my back but they don't know I'm really just around the corner. Then I go home and straight away I'm all angry with my mum because I've had a bad day and then we have and arguement so then she won't talk to me without an angry tone to her voice and neither can I. But sometimes she understands but there's nothing she can do about it. I've wanted to move schools but I'm too shy to do that and it's a small school so I can't, you know, just meet new people. And if I hang out with other classes, it makes people feel the urge to do things even more. People like me, they laugh with me but they als laugh at me. I get told it's because I'm popular and they want to bring me down but I don't believe it. I'm also self conscious about the ga in my teeth. I used to like it and say it's who I am but now I just want it gone because people look at me in photos and say,'look she's missing a tooth.' but it's really not that big and it just makes me feel so bad. Then I'm always getting teased because I have orange hair so I dye it with streaks to make me feel better, to get it attention for different reasons... but it doesn't work. They also tell me I'm fat but it's just muscle. I'm athletic so the muscles in my thighs are bid so I'm too scared to wear shortish shorts and then I get teased about that. They're petty things but they get me down after a while... That's my rant over.
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